


Ignis Scientia x Princess!Reader - As You Wish, My Lady

by Oreana



Series: Runaway With Me [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, NSFW, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Sex, Slow Romance, Touch-Starved, Touching, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Sex, Virginity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 83,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oreana/pseuds/Oreana
Summary: He’s been there through everything—your ups, your downs, and listened to the worst of it all. He practically raised you when your parents were too busy to be around, and he, Ignis Scientia, became your everything. But perhaps you trusted him with far more than you were supposed to…





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A series I decided on when Noctis’ actually got brainstormed first in a random moment, but of course, I decided to write Ignis’ first. xD
> 
> Keep in mind, these are all strictly AU based—in a world where the bros might not have even met and or the layout and archetypes of the world have changed. For this one, Altissia has its own royalty ruling over Accordo. Enjoy~ (Kudos to any of you nerds who catch the reference from another game in here.) If I find the time, inspiration or the response is good, I may add more to them.

 

Royalty—perfection—a world that felt tighter than any corset you could hope to wear was the life you were given upon your birth. The heir to the island of Accordo, born and raised at the capital Altissia and asked to serve and give praise to the Goddess Leviathan, to anybody it would seem the absolute dream to be viewed as royalty with a fate predetermined for them from the moment they were born. For you, however, it became the absolute nightmare… 

You were in such care of your parent’s servants overtime that your own mother didn’t even know how to talk to you. Your father spoke to you as though you were a stranger, and finding anybody to lean on or even have fun with was a challenge on its own as you were forbidden to leave the palace alone. 

That was when they enlisted the help of him—Ignis Scientia—a young man from across the sea who was practically asked (though you assumed bought) to serve as your advisor. He was a proper young man, dusty blond hair and green eyes shielded by glasses that seemed raised and ready for the occasion as though he too were brought into a certain line of work he may not have asked for. 

The years honestly blurred around you as you aged. You could say you met with him when you were ten, but it could have been older or younger. All the same, he became the only person who was there for you in time when your parents were too busy to truly bother with you. He aided you in preparing for your day, cooked every meal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and often sat beside you if you so much as wanted to read quietly or play video games. He became your accompaniment outside of the palace walls, but in the beginning of it all, it was so hard to truly talk to him and find common ground. Regardless, his presence and attentive nature to you was welcoming…but at the same time…upsetting. 

It clawed at your stomach, gnawed at your heart and in a blinding fit one night to escape the pain that your life was preordained with a family who felt as though they cared so little for you, you ran in tears to just be done with the suffocating world you found yourself drowning within. 

Your clothes a mudded, tattered mess given the downpour that night, you paid it no heed as you stumbled onward in the thick cover of night. The consequences of your actions didn’t settle upon you until the daemons surfaced and you—not a fighter—found yourself at the mercy of an Iron Giant with Ice Bombs illuminating the dark playing field. Trying to run from the scene was your downfall, as in one swift act, the Iron Giant swung its sword and cleaved your side and part of your back only to be followed by the horrific chill that felt like fire sting upon your body and immobilizing your trembling form in an instant. 

The sounds and sights of that night were blurred, but it was indeed the one time you would see your father and mother there at your side…but only in that horrific, foggy vision of them leaning over you and praying for your safety as even your times to heal were minimal when it came to their attendance.

 

**\--A Week Later—**

 

The pain in your left side and arm would come and go in bouts. It was a horrific, sharp stabbing sensation that would cripple you in a fit of tears as it was pain so horrific you just wished you could die to end it. The infection you still were fighting off with the aid of medication was difficult for you to even reach for to take on your own (even if on the nightstand), but if you were to be honest…you would have rather suffered waiting for your parents to come beside you than take it and be still in dead silence. 

Sometimes, you managed just fine and others you found yourself screaming in a desire to have the horrible ache come to an end—hating you had to torture yourself just for the sake of feeling your parent’s love.

In the veil of night, you found such a time occurring as the nightmare plagued your thoughts once more and frightened you awake to the realization that the agony you were experiencing was still very much there and new when your eyes flew open to the room around you. Panicked, tears streamed down your cheeks as you struggled to speak. The words became lodged in your throat that felt horribly dry; thus, making it painful just to swallow if you so wished to. Lower lip trembling as you cried out from another harsh stabbing sensation in your body, you finally found the energy in which to talk. 

“Mom…? Dad…!” 

It hadn’t dawned on you that the sound of movement from the room just opposite the wall of where your bed’s headboard rested could be heard ever faintly given how paper thin the walls were. Ignis slept next door to you in case of any emergency that may arise when your parents failed to be nearby to assist and in the past several days, he had been doing everything he could to be certain you were well tended to as you were too crippled to even do mundane things such as eat, bathe, or even get to the restroom as you needed. In the moments you were howling in agony, you heard his door open in a hurry just beyond the walls of your bedroom followed quickly by your own in time doing the same as the advisor rushed to your bedside while slipping his arms through the sleeves of a robe he kept nearby in his own room just so he wouldn’t feel or look indecent to you given the hour. 

Ignis’ hair, which was usually gelled upright in the front and slicked down in the back, was but a mess given the hour. The advisor was almost unrecognizable with it falling about his forehead and eyes just a bit. The way he spoke and the glasses he wore were the only things that truly showed it was indeed him. 

“Lady Y/N,” he began in a risen whisper as his eyes turned to the bandaged arm nearest him to notice something you hadn’t right away. “Hold still, your Highness,” Ignis instructed as he tried to aid you in the process by resting one palm upon your shoulder and the other groped frantically for the lamp’s chain to turn the light on, putting his focus to the medicine bottle on the nightstand shortly after. 

“Wh-Where are my parents?” you asked tearfully, inwardly hating that Ignis had to be the one to be there beside you at the moment. In the heat of pain, your voice accidentally cracked in a bit of anger as you exclaimed, “Where are they!” 

“I know not at the current moment, Lady Y/N, but I am to assume they are sleeping given the hour,” spoke Ignis in a calm rush of words as he tried to lift you steadily upright so that you could be leaning against the headboard of your bed that had been cushioned as of late given the damages done to your back. You tried to fight him in your weary state, cries of discomfort escaping you in the process. He attempted to quiet you as he moved in close so that the liquid medicine would not spill. “Take this and be still, please.” 

Your lips moved inward as if to deny the thought, wanting your father or at least your mother there beside you…not him. “But I **_need_** them!” Again, your tone accidentally came out as harsh, had you the energy and not bogged down by the agony ripping through your body like a raging wildfire out of your control, you might have pushed Ignis away. 

“What you need is to take this, Y/N,” Ignis said a bit more firmly himself, pulling back the spoon of medicine in fear you might knock it from his hand anyways. The dim lighting made it hard to truly see his expression or much of what was going on given the late hour, but you noticed his brow was a bit furrowed in concern at your state as his hand worked on trying to steady your face by pressing firmly against your opposite cheek and then urging the spoon a bit closer to your lips, which still seemed to deny it passage. “I will see about fetching them later, my Lady, but not right now! Please,” he hissed through his teeth, “take the medicine and stop torturing yourself!” 

Closing your eyes tightly as if to debate to just refuse and let it end, the tears welled up under your closed eyelids before you found it within yourself to finally accept his offer to let the horrific experience come to a close. After all was said and done, you still felt the crippling reminder of what your body was suffering through only a bit fainter than before as you were escorted slowly back down to rest on the bed’s covers. Ignis seemed to take care in bringing the covers up to your chest at least but keeping your wounded arm out to gaze upon closely. A decent person at the time would have thanked Ignis for coming to their aid, but you were still a bit bitter it had to be him when it wasn’t truly his fault. 

“Your arm is bleeding profusely again,” Ignis said with a sigh in relief when your sobbing began to die down. He slid his glasses up the slope of his nose before looking about for the clean bandages and bowl he could use to soak them in the medicine needed to clean out the injury. His hand rose to motion for you to be still as he went about your bedroom finding what he would need for changing them. 

“I-I’m fine…” you grumbled through your clenched teeth, wanting him to be on his way back to his own bedroom. At the moment of it being mentioned, you could feel how unpleasant and sticky the bandage had become when you slightly moved your wounded arm only to hiss to yourself in pain when the sensation bit at you like a snake in the grass waiting for the slightest of movement on your behalf. 

“And you’ll be far better when I change your bandages,” Ignis spoke in return, showing he wouldn’t be easily rid of as that. 

To yourself, you sighed with a hidden roll of your eyes until the advisor came back into view. 

“Why didn’t you use the cane, my Lady?” Ignis asked with a subtle exhale of worry that had hurt his chest in merely keeping it in. With everything in order, he muttered something under his breath when looking at the utensils before him that you could slightly hear—something about having to fill the bowl. Once more, his green eyes fell upon you with his brow wrinkled in concern. “I would have come sooner had I heard that.”

You were given a cane that was kept near the bed to basically use to tap the nearby wall to wake Ignis at any hour or get his attention before things got too out of hand when it dealt with your injuries. He seemed to be a light sleeper as it worked quite well when you used to bother with it in the past few days just to test it out, but you found your bedside growing cold and absent at the mere thought of your parents to where you became resentful at the thought of doing it anymore. 

“I-I didn’t want to,” you confessed, witnessing as he lowered his head and sighed out in displeasure at your words. 

Your advisor seemed to have little to add to your response. “I’ll be just a moment,” Ignis spoke to you in a quiet whisper as he let the bandages lay to rest on the nearby nightstand, taking the empty bowl in his possession as he exited your room to get the warm water he perhaps needed in mixing the remedy needed for your newer wrappings. 

Left alone with merely your thoughts and resentment, you began to curse yourself at willingly accepting the help from Ignis earlier. You should have just let it end you. Eyes to your blooded bandages, you saw that it was indeed a horrific mess instead of just feeling it. Seems the daemons were still just as intent as ever to be sure your injuries never healed as swiftly as any you’d receive in any other manner. 

Your body, heavy as lead now no thanks in kind to the drug, you could hardly find it within yourself to even move your other hand to the bandages to rip them off out of anger. Couldn’t say you didn’t try, however, as you flexed your fingers on your opposite hand before moving it over a bit to try and scratch at it in a blind, furious rage of what had become of you. 

The door opened in a matter of moments and Ignis returned with a disapproving stare at your labored actions. “Stop this right now, Y/N!” he shouted quietly before hurrying back to your side to be certain to halt you when you refused to listen. The bowl filled with warm water off to the nightstand nearby, Ignis with ease moved your arm back to your side in a firm manner. His grip remained rigid on your wrist, letting your touch lay to rest there on the covers as he was partially looming over you with his eyes narrowed, and you knew a scolding was coming next he spoke. “Acting with ill intent on yourself will not fair well for anybody—least of all you and the ones who love you.” 

Your lower lip trembled, the first of your words almost mouthed given how lost your voice was in asking such a painful question, “And who loves me?” 

“Your family, whether you see it or not, love you with all their heart, Lady Y/N. Your people have nothing but honor and devotion towards you and see promise in you every day even as you lie here, sickened in bed from the impetuous assessment you made to run from your duties,” spoke Ignis as he had kept up with the news and attended meetings on your behalf; especially, as of late. 

His words tasted of ashen bile, yet you had not the energy to respond and merely turned your head to look away from him. Arguing with him was always pointless. Ignis normally found a response to any and everything. 

Ignis’ touch removed ever so slowly from yours, taking to the blooded bandages once more. “Now, hold still,” he instructed, tone a bit lighter than before though his expression still displayed his annoyance at your words and actions lately. “The air might sting a bit when I unwrap this.” 

Your eyes remained to the windows at the far side of the room. They were arched in a beautiful, golden frame with intricate designs about the border areas of the glass. The curtains that were satin red, at your request, remained shut so as not to allow anybody a chance to take a picture of your suffering day in and day out. In all honesty, however, you found the darkness of the room to be uplifting in an odd sense. It was reflective and a nice solace from the noise that went on about you from time to time. 

Brought back to yourself at the horrific bite from the chill in the air when Ignis exposed your injury, you closed your eyes and flinched in agony though had not the energy to move much. You threatened to, but that was all you could do. Another terrible sting happened when you felt the warmth of the dampened washcloth upon your stitched injury, making you cry out quietly in displeasure as Ignis worked on cleaning the surrounding blood. 

“Apologies,” he murmured to you, staying focused on the task at hand, “but this has to be done.” 

The water was warm—you could say that at least. However, with the residue of the liquid staying behind on your arm, you found parts of it growing cold and giving you a bit of a shiver as the temperature had a tendency to drop quite low during the evening hours. “By Leviathan’s grace…care to hurry up!” You hissed in agony, biting at your lower lip to still it. 

Ignis spoke not a word at your upset, merely continuing with the task before it was fully washed and allowing for him to turn to the gauze he soon cut up and placed in the bowl to soak, tending to your wound once more. He was careful…delicate in his actions as he slowly circled the newer wrappings about your injury with a gentle firmness to his grasp. “There,” he spoke to you in the stillness that soon swallowed the room. “Hopefully that will hold till morning.” Ignis fixed the glasses on the slope of his nose, moving a few strands of his messy hair from his face in a simple motion or two. “If it begins to bleed again, please, my Lady—summon me.” 

The idea you would do any such thing merely made you close your eyes and stiffen your form all the more as if wishing to just say you wanted to sleep and to ask him to please leave without the use of words. Again, you were still bitter and wanted him gone… 

“I will return in the morning, Y/N,” Ignis expressed in a disapproving sigh at your mannerisms. “At earliest sunrise I will come to aid you in bathing.” 

A blush at the thought hued your cheeks as you rarely had to rely on him lately in bathing. “Wh-What about Rosemary?” you asked in regards to the servant woman who usually did such personal things with you regardless of your comfort in the matter. It would be easier with her than Ignis. 

“His Majesty gave her a few weeks off because of family matters I wasn’t informed on,” responded Ignis as he took back to the bowl nearby with the worn, blooded bandages bundled in his possession, letting them rest over the edge of said bowl in time. Easily, you could see the blood on his hands there in the simple pieces of movement he gave.  “And speaking of so, he ordered me to be the one to tend to you as I am usually entrusted with your care and keeping in their absence.” 

“Yeah, but not with such… _personal_ things…” Your eyes darted away, hoping to avoid that embarrassing eye contact he may give you. 

“Do not let it bother you so, Lady Y/N,” insisted Ignis as he turned to look at you once more, his face remaining neutral on the thought. “You are incapable of handling things on your own, and as a caretaker to you, I am doing my job.” He turned his back to you, facing the door he intended to leave through soon. “Look at it that way if it makes you feel better. Goodnight, my Lady. Remember to use the cane when you feel discomfort, please.” 

And with that, Ignis took his leave of the room. 

With where you rested on the bed, you listened and heard as Ignis traveled back down the hall to his own room where he entered it and went back to sleep as the faint sounds of his bed’s headboard lightly tapping the opposite wall could be heard in the act. Left alone in the dead quiet of your room, you sighed out your frustrations and worries in the matter. Seemed getting rid of him wouldn’t be truly as easy as that…

 

\--

 

Morning came far too early; especially after your painful bout late in the night. With Ignis urging you to awake with a gentle call of your name and small shake here and there, you found the advisor looming over you and looking as he normally did when you saw him every day and some nights with his clothing dark in coloration, formal and set perfectly on his form, and his hair gelled upright at the front with the rest slicked down in the back. 

“Good morning, Y/N,” greeted Ignis when your eyes fell upon his. “Sleep well after last night’s physical incursion?” 

Your attention diverted from his before you found your sights back upon his once more while attempted to move just a bit to at least pop your weary and stiff bones into a different position as sleeping on your back or your one good side constantly was a bit bothersome. It was even a bit challenging to find peaceful sleep on your back with all things considered but with enough cushioning underneath the bandages, it was doable sometimes. 

“A bit,” you answered, wishing you could continue to rest. It was actually quite peaceful now that you thought about it and now your body was pleading for you to get more rest. “Can this wait for later, Ignis?” you asked as you spied the wheelchair nearby. “It’s so damn early…” 

“Six-thirty in the morning if one were to be exact, yes,” he answered, tugging at the covers to pull them from you. You shivered when exposed in merely your nightgown. It was so cold that morning you could taste it upon every steady inhale. “However, the earlier the better, my Lady.” Ignis began to move his arm underneath your body a bit while situating your nearest arm carefully over the back of his neck. His other went for your legs to try and position you in a bridal style within his embrace. “With me now,” he instructed knowing there was little strength you could exert to make this much easier on him, but if you could, now would be the time to do so. 

Flinching from the minor sting of pain that struck at you, you let Ignis migrate you from the bed and help you into the wheelchair without many problems; though, you could hear and feel him strain himself a bit with your weight as he wasn’t expecting so much to rely on him in moving you. With everything in order, Ignis took to the chair’s handgrip to move you onward to the washroom. 

The movement of the chair was relaxing to the point you found yourself rolling your head back upon the headrest and drifting off into a small nap. It was a light one where you were still a bit aware of sounds and vibrations when moved about the palace. In fact, you inwardly groaned a bit when you felt the wheels move over the door’s lower frame when it came to being guided into the bathroom to be cleaned by your advisor. You didn’t even have to second guess yourself on where you were as you heard Ignis walk across the tile to twist the squeaky, silver knob of the tub to get the water going. The resonance of the water was hardly pleasant, as it sounded like harsh, thick bursts from the faucet smacking the porcelain of the tub in a rapid and unforgiving manner. The mere thought of it touching your injuries made you flinch. 

Ignis gave the water a moment to get warm before stopping up the tub and turning to you to gently shake you awake. You opened your eyes begrudgingly to find him squatting before you, eyes fixated on yours. “Apologies, Y/N, but I have to undress you now.” 

Again, you blushed and wished you had the power to say otherwise. A princess you were, but you could hardly say you overruled your parent’s words to your own advisor. “If you must,” you expressed in a bitter exhale, allowing for Ignis to remove your nightgown in one gentle motion. 

You weren’t too concerned about him seeing your upper half as it was still heavily bandaged to account for your back, but having him be allowed to view much more than that still made your legs attempt to move against one another in a fit of embarrassment. His gloved hand caressed your nearest shoulder in a gentle manner to urge you forward just a bit as he apparently wanted to get a better look at the other injury on your back as well as your side, his other hand slightly gesturing in thought with his index and middle fingers pointing at the work done to conceal your wound. 

“Seems it too has bled a bit,” he moaned in disappointment to himself having not checked it better last night. “How are you feeling?” Ignis went onward to ask as you felt his fingers begin to kindly mess with the tightness of the bandages in hopes to loosen them and be rid of the old ones to put in place newer, fresher ones when you were finished bathing. 

“Like a five hundred pound man is sitting on me, and I am incapable of doing anything,” you groaned, trying with what strength you had to make him stop. “C-Can’t you do that after or something…?” 

“I see,” Ignis responded with a slight smile at your annoyed response. “Your breathing is even a bit labored from what I can sense—are you having problems breathing, Y/N?” Hearing your other question, he answered, “No. It will merely cause more problems than solutions should I leave them in place as even your injuries need to be cleaned, my Lady.” 

“I am sure the only reason it does suck to breathe is because of these stupid wrappings.” You frowned, however, feeling as they loosened to expose your chest in the process. Had your arms not felt of lead, you would have embraced yourself to preserve your decency but that apparently fell onto Ignis as his nearest arm outstretched across your front when the moment came to let his forearm conceal you with the leather attire he wore. 

“All the more reason to remove them for a spell, my Lady,” spoke the advisor as he soon had you completely undone and, in the moment, you could feel how sticky and gross the injuries had become having not been changed in a few hours. Since your energy was minimal and you knew most of the water would hide you anyways, you let his fingers slip to your underwear and pull it from you quickly. Seems he was willing to do so to have it be like a band-aid and let it be over with swiftly. His hold on you accidentally tightened upon your upper shoulder opposite to him as he held you cautiously from the front and back, attempting to guide you to your feet. “Once more,” Ignis whispered close to your cheek. 

Using one of your hands to touch on the rim of the intricately designed tub, you let Ignis aid your legs in moving over until you were submerged halfway into the warm water. It was welcoming for a moment until it graced your injuries, making you hiss and jerk back a bit to where your advisor steadied you. 

“Hold still,” he instructed till he felt your body finally sit into place. “It’ll be over soon, Y/N.” 

You witnessed as Ignis removed his gloves and put them to rest on the seat of your wheelchair before rolling up his sleeves to be certain nothing got wet in the process of washing you. He perhaps would have been fine to do so just fresh out of bed, but you knew he deemed that sight of him inappropriate to be viewed by royalty regardless the circumstances. The only reason you got a good look at his unkempt and bedridden look was because of the sudden sounds you were making so late in the evening. 

His touch was gentle and attentive—knowing, even. He was cautious of your injuries but paid them the most mind when using a washcloth to wipe away the crusted and old blood dried over the edges, trying not to excite new blooded marks to appear in the process. It was a bit agonizing regardless as each little kiss of the chilled air or the water irritated the sensitive area in the process. Every time he felt you flinch or try to move away, Ignis’ touch on your opposite shoulder would squeeze reassuringly. Moving to your hair in time, he began to run his fingers through the strands piece by piece to be certain he got every bit of them wet before bothering to use the shampoo nearby. 

“Care for anything special for breakfast?” Ignis asked in hopes to break the awkward silence filling the room. 

The thought of food so early was hardly appealing, so you shrugged. “Whatever you care to make is fine by me, Ignis.” 

Soon, the water was drained from the tub and after fetching the towels nearby, Ignis attempted to get you to stand while trying to dry you off in the process. Your legs felt of jelly, making it difficult to do so had it not been for the nearby silver guardrail that was crafted on the side wall for you to use when trying to find your feet. A part of your thighs almost reanimated in the moment when Ignis got too close for your liking when trying to dry that area with the towel, but you merely let it pass knowing it wouldn’t be for much longer till you would be re-clothed and decent yet again. 

Ignis did have to redress your wounds before clothing you once more, but in the process, you found your embarrassment of the situation subsiding. He remained quiet through most of it, merely telling you bits and pieces of information you missed lately being too sick and injured to move from bed in regards to Altissia and the island of Accordo. Not much of the news interested you and you tuned it out by accident. 

“Y/N? Are you listening?” Ignis asked in a scolding tone as you were lying on your front, giving him the room he needed earlier for the bandages and had not the care to turn back over. 

“Yes,” you mumbled against your un-bandaged arm you were using as a sort of pillow to rest your forehead on. 

You heard Ignis sigh in a disgruntled manner. Moving his arm underneath you, he turned you to where you would be sitting upright on the bed at the very least and tucking you back under the covers part of the way. “The Moogle Chocobo Festival will be in town as well soon. I am uncertain if you’ll be well enough to attend, but—.” 

“Who said I wanted to?” you interrupted bitterly at thought. It usually was a festival you remembered enjoying in your youth as it was indeed the one time you got to spend side by side with your parents. The sights, the sounds, the fireworks…all of it was fresh in your mind and heart regardless of how degraded memories tended to get over time. It truly hurt to think of now and all that was left in regards to the festival was how they disappeared slowly in time, leaving you alone with your servants and, later, Ignis to accompany you till you could bear it no more. 

Again, another painful sigh escaped Ignis that you could hear. “Apologies, Lady Y/N. I just assumed that—.” 

“—you assumed wrong,” you cut him off once more, closing your eyes tightly to fight the tears that threatened you. Turning your head from him, you expressed your own quivering exhale to be rid of the upset that stirred in your body. 

You heard Ignis stand upright from where he was hovering over you to be sure his words carried in the thick emotion that enveloped the room. “I will prepare breakfast and return momentarily.” Again, you heard him turn and leave you in peace as your door opened and closed to signify his absence. 

A part of you knew Ignis didn’t deserve the way you treated him, but you hated that he was part of the problem in regards to having just a moment with your parents. You wanted to apologize as you knew he was doing everything in his power to be there for you when they wouldn’t, but you hated it had to be this way—hated it had to be all on Ignis just to see to it you grew into the woman you were meant to be. 

He did return later with the food he had prepared for you. Opening the tray stand near the bed, he moved the utensils closers to where you resided under the comfort of the linens. “Can you manage just fine or do you need my aid?” 

Moving your fingers on your other hand, you felt the medicine did less in making it feel weighted and used that to your advantage by scooping up the nearby fork at the very least (though still having a problem moving your fingers even on your good hand). “Stupid medicine is so strong it’s almost impossible to bend my fingers or move my own damn arm at times that wasn’t even hurt in the attack!” 

“It had to be, Lady Y/N,” spoke Ignis carefully as he tenderly touched upon the back of your hand to try and usher your fingers about the fork as needed when you struggled for a moment. “It has to numb your senses to what your form is truly going through. Otherwise, you’d be in the worst ache imaginable, and I cannot say I’d want that for you.” 

Your hand quivering still, you found the fork slipped from your grasp only to have Ignis grab at it and slide it back within your touch while his own cradled yours reassuringly with both of his hands clasping upon yours. A blush warmed your cheeks at the gentle touch of him, Ignis’ fingers looping about yours in a sweet way to remind you of how to properly hold the fork. 

“Do you have it now, my Lady?” Ignis asked, letting his touch slowly migrate away from yours but remaining nearby incase he had to catch you, so to say. 

Swallowing harshly, you nodded before trying to go for the pancakes nearby. Your hand trembled as you tried to make this easier on yourself, having not noticed how truly heavy your arm felt in the process. 

It was then he perhaps became aware of your struggling. “It is alright to ask for my assistance, Y/N. I am fine to help you at your request,” Ignis reminded you. 

Again, your temper accidentally exploded at the gentle reminder. “I am sick and tired of not being able to do anything for myself, and it’s only been a damn week!” you shrieked, tears streaming down your cheeks as your fist pounded weakly on the food tray, causing the plates and glasses to clatter together in an aggressive manner. Hating to look and feel so defeated, you lowered your head as you let the fork slip from your fingers again as you lost the will to hold it. 

As you shuddered and hissed in sadness there in the bed, you felt Ignis’ gloved hand touch yours once more. It wasn’t a means to aid you again with the fork but a means to merely embrace your hand and tell you it was okay as his thumb rubbed against the bare skin on the back of your touch. Ignis said not a word—merely touched you so. 

“I-I’m sorry…” you whispered pathetically through your sadness. “I’m so, so sorry…Y-You’re the only friend I have, and I am just being dreadful to you…” 

Ignis paused in his actions for a brief moment when you spoke, letting the words sink in you supposed before he moved the tray a bit out of his way, taking a seat beside you on the bed to hold you. With his arms carefully wrapped about your injured form in a sweet hug, you found your head turning to rest on his chest and you cried without restraint, not even taking note you were dampening his attire in the process. “Don’t fret about it, Princess,” he said in a tender whisper upon your head. 

When you found yourself calming down in time, you moved away and noted the wet stain you left on his shirt. “I got your clothes all wet,” you spoke, hoping to find light in the situation as you tried to force a small laugh. 

His green eyes shifted down to the spot you were referring to, plucking at his attire to get a better view of it. “It’s quite fine. It’ll dry in time, Y/N.” Taking the napkin on the nearby plates, he began to tend to the tears about your eyes. “Did you wish of me to assist you, Y/N? If you wait much longer your food will get cold.” 

Nodding, you sniffled back your sadness as you let Ignis tend to you as needed. It was upsetting to be fed like you were a child again, but he did everything in his power to be certain it wasn’t too awkward for you.

 

\-------

 

Healing was still a challenge. There were still moments in the middle of the night you had to summon Ignis to your side to get him to give you the medicine you needed or assist you to the bathroom to wash or do other things with Rosemary gone and no other servants freed up to tend to you, but it went onward with less aggression than before when it came to Ignis’ attendance. 

The two of you found yourselves reading in the quiet of his room as you confessed you were sick of being in yours all the time. He wasn’t certain how your parents would take to that, but he relented when you insisted on the matter. 

It was a room you never got to see often (or bothered with wanting to), so it did feel foreign being wheeled within it. A simple place of any other with a bed against the wall that separated your room from his, a bookcase full of different tomes of history, cooking, and the like you hadn’t a chance to look at closely in the moment, a radio for him to keep in tune with the news and music at his leisure that was placed at his nearby nightstand and a small sofa right before a television was closer to the opposite wall in relation to his bed. 

Given how you were, Ignis moved you to his bed and let you lie there to read as he sat nearby to tend to his own novel. A sigh escaped you in your reading, causing the advisor to turn swiftly to your attention. “Y/N? Is something wrong?” 

 You shook your head as you closed the book you were enjoying for a moment. “Just thinking about the festival that is soon…” Your voice trailed off at the thought, wanting to go but hating the bittersweet memories it gave you. 

“It starts tomorrow on Saturday, yes,” spoke Ignis carefully as he too closed his book after marking his spot. “Did you wish to attend?” 

Even if it continued through the week, you felt yourself shrug your expression with a slight curl of your nose at the thought. “The only things I truly cared about were the chocobos and the fireworks. It wouldn’t be worth the hassle to just see that.” 

“I could still escort you down there, my Lady, if you wish it so,” spoke Ignis as he turned more towards you in the process. “Even if for a little bit, it is alright.” 

A smile tugged at the corner of your lips, seeming to catch Ignis by surprise. “I appreciate that, Iggy, but it’s not worth the hassle. I’ll be fine to stay here…” Noticing the odd look he was giving you, you scoffed playfully. “What? Is there something on my face?” 

“Just been a long time since I’ve seen you smile if even for a moment, Y/N,” answered Ignis with one of his own. 

You side-eyed him mockingly. “Same for you, hon. Hell, you rarely smile at all sometimes.” 

Ignis moved his glasses up the slope of his nose with another, honest grin upon his lips. “I’ve rarely had reason to, Lady Y/N.” 

“Why?” you probed with a burst of a laugh covering your question. “Am I that annoying to be around?” 

Seemed he didn’t want to answer fully as he turned from you and attended to the pages before him. “The exact opposite, if you must know.” Before you could hope to ask further, you heard a knock at Ignis’ door. It brought you both into a moment of worry of who it could be, but Ignis took to his feet to answer it without allowing the other on the opposite side to view much of what was in his room. “May I help you?” 

You tried to listen in on the hushed words be spoken at the door, and from what you could make of it, another servant was dropping by a message for Ignis to give to you. “I know not where she’s gone off to, but if you could give this to our Lady, it would be appreciated.” 

Ignis looked to the envelope with a nod to the man on the other side of the door. “I’ll see to it. Thank you for dropping it by,” he whispered in response before closing the door and heading back towards you with his eyes still very much sizing up the message. “It’s from your betrothed—Prince Anduin Wyrnn.” 

“Anduin?” you repeated as you tried to sit upright all the more only to be given the painful reminder you were still bedridden. Flinching, you ignored Ignis’ desire to assist as you asked for the letter. “What does it say?” 

“Be still please, my Lady,” Ignis insisted with a gentle sigh as he took to the letter to break the seal and unfold it to read before you. “He apologizes for taking so long to write to you, but it appears he is away on business and only just recently received the news of your encounter with the daemons. The Prince wishes you a safe and speedy recovery and will be in the City of Altissia in two month’s time or so. He hopes to stay the year, it seems.” 

You used what strength you had to outstretch your hand, asking mutely for the message in question to be handed to you. When Ignis sat beside you once more, you accepted it from his grasp to indeed recognize the signature and everything else belonging to the man you knew from birth you were to be married to. A soft murmur of his name passed your lips as you folded the letter back neatly and brought it to your chest. There were different times of your life you would get a chance to actually meet with your betrothed. Like everyone else around you, seemed he too was far too busy to truly be beside you as he wished. You met him first when you were five—a vague memory that was deluded by time and poisoned by merely talks of your parents to where you didn’t know what was true and what wasn’t anymore—and again when you were ten or so roughly about the time you were introduced to Ignis, and the last time you truly got to see him was in your mid or early teens. 

He wasn’t a bad man. If anything, he always had a charismatic smile, blond hair that framed his slender face, and blue eyes that held love and attendance to you. The times you got to talk to him on the phone, you found yourself smiling now and again but your stomach still knotted in distress. He was like everyone else in your life…a stranger you wished you could spend more time with, and you were expected to make a family with him? How horrifying… 

“My Lady,” beckoned Ignis once more as he saw the concern wrinkle your face. Looking to him you could see the advisor peering at you in concern. “Are you alright?” 

You nodded to the best of your ability. “I…I can’t wait for him to be here,” you partially lied. You did want Anduin to be beside you once more, but you were also dreading it. He would be here for that long? How wonderful and scary at the same time…things could… _happen_. You never kissed a man before and the very thought he might want to do that even struck you with a sickening worry. 

Ignis took the letter from you to let it lay to rest nearby on his nightstand for the moment. “That won’t be till some time, my Lady, so just relax and think of getting better till he does.” As you fought with yourself, Ignis’ hand touched upon your own to gain your attention once more. “Is there anything you need from me?” 

You breathed out your anxiety, eyes looking back to the book you were reading with a half smile that faded as quickly as it came. “Would you mind reading to me for a bit, Iggy?” you requested. “I am afraid I’ve lost what energy I had to hold even my own book…stupid medicine.” 

Fixing his glasses upon the slope of his nose, Ignis moved beside you while picking up the book you had been reading earlier. “Where were you? Here?” he asked, pointing to a random sentence on the pages before you directed him to the proper place. Reading ahead a bit with his eyes, Ignis started at the place you mentioned and began to read aloud as you requested. 

It was a simple fiction title with a bit of romance in between so it wasn’t anything too embarrassing for the advisor. As his voice continued onward, the simplest of words became melodic to the point you found yourself resting your cheek on his upper arm (as he was too tall for you to reach his shoulder). Ignis tensed a bit at your sudden position change, but it only lasted for the moment as he continued onward till you had apparently drifted off to sleep just listening to the hum of his voice. 

“Y/N?” he beckoned to you moments later. “Y/N, wake up.” Ignis lightly shook you till your eyes fluttered open to the advisor’s bedroom once more. You were in such a deep sleep you almost forgot where you were momentarily. Eyes turning to his, you noticed the small bit of concern on his face. “Are you tired?” 

You shook your head. “Not by much, no.”

“Yet you are falling asleep on me,” pointed out Ignis as he closed the book and put it off to the side to focus on you. “Care to stay awake long enough for dinner tonight?” 

A muffled laugh rumbled in your throat, closing your eyes once more as you nodded. “I will manage just fine, thanks. I guess I just need help getting back to my bedroom.” 

Moving to his feet, Ignis brought the wheelchair closer before motioning for your uninjured arm to guide it behind his neck and usher your legs off the bedside and to the floor. Letting you lean on him for support, he helped you back into the wheelchair before taking to your book and letting it lay to rest in your lap, wheeling you down to the next room. “I just hope nobody sees you coming out of my bedroom,” he spoke in a slight worry. 

“If anybody says anything, I’ll let them know it was my choice—not yours,” you scoffed as you were moved out into the hallway with nobody truly in it to say anything in regards to you being in Ignis’ space. “Looks like it’s all clear.” 

Ignis nodded to your words. “Indeed.” 

It was depressing to be back in those same old four walls, but you accepted it regardless as you were escorted back to the comfort of your bedcovers. Thanking Ignis for his company and service, you watched as he left the room to tend to dinner once you were settled, leaving you to ponder over the letter Anduin had given to you.

 

\--

 

For whatever reason, the pain had begun acting up so horribly on Saturday that you found yourself incapable of even the slightest movement without it causing you agony. It left Ignis to be beside you since three or so in the morning as it was indeed persistent to the point he even had to summon a doctor to the castle quickly when the morning hours hit. It was a miserable experience that Ignis tried with all his might to distract your mind with casual conversation or reading to you when you requested it of him. 

There was no true explanation as to why the injuries were flaring up as badly as they were. The only answer the doctor truly gave was that daemon attacks were usually laced with powerful, evil magic or poisons and diseases to the point it is a miracle if anybody survives them. Their imprint on one’s body was everlasting and usually potent with cruel intent. 

“Guess I am not going to the festival anyway,” you whispered pathetically there on the bed as your body had finally come down from the horrible sweat it endured during the night before. It was already Saturday evening, and you knew before long, the festival would end for the day after the rain of fireworks. 

Ignis looked off to the side at your confession, fingers holding onto your wrist when it came to your better arm in support. Frown deepening with determination, your advisor rose to his feet as he walked over to the wheelchair nearby to wheel it beside your bed. “I just need you to move into the chair, Y/N. I promise we won’t go far.” 

Aiding you to the best of his ability, you tried not to show your discomfort in the matter. A part of you wished he’d just let you rest but another was interested to know what he had in mind all of a sudden. Ignis had to do most of the work in situating you, but upon doing so, he turned you to the balcony doors he opened in time and you both found yourself out upon the terrace to watch as the night sky lit up with a hue of colors from the multitude of fireworks being lit into the sky. 

The chill in the air was welcomed for a bit as you found yourself so warm earlier it was far from pleasant. Perhaps you were shivering—you didn’t care to notice—as Ignis did remove his coat and placed it across your front to act as a blanket and warder of the night’s cold touch. You thanked him briefly, turning your attention back to the fireworks that made you forget for a moment the pain and agony you were in. If it weren’t for the injuries, you would have pointed at some asking if Ignis saw the particular one you witnessed, but you remained as still as you could manage while turning to him now and again to notice he was watching between the fireworks and you. 

It was a simple pleasure but one you enjoyed greatly. Yes, your parents weren’t there to enjoy it with you, but you at least had Ignis beside you as usual to partake in the moment. In the past several days you had been finding great relief in that. “It’s so beautiful,” you whispered, reclining back in the wheelchair as you could feel the fireworks were coming to an end when they began to release almost nonstop for a moment. 

“Indeed it is,” spoke Ignis as he knelt beside you soon. “We can go inside at any moment that you need, Lady Y/N. I merely didn’t wish for you to miss the opening fireworks display.” 

You turned to him, smiling at his kindness before using what strength you had to lean in a bit closer to kiss his cheek as thanks for all he had done. “Thank you for that, Iggy.” 

Lowering his head to hide his blush there in the evening light, your advisor found the courage to look upon you. “My pleasure, Y/N.”

 

**\--A Month Later--**

It was still agonizing to try and lean to walk again or find the movement back in your wounded arm, but after a bit of physical therapy at the aid of Ignis about the palace, you slowly but surely found yourself not having to rely on him or the wheelchair to get about as you needed. You could finally feed yourself on your own, clothe and bathe yourself as well. It was a relief to have things back to the way they were. 

The only thing that changed was the large scar on your back and arm, making you cringe a bit every time you saw it. “What is Anduin going to think when he sees all of this…?” you asked mostly to yourself but Ignis was nearby to hear you. 

“I am certain the Prince will think you are as lovely as ever, Lady Y/N,” spoke Ignis with honesty as he stood to attention near the foot of your bed where you were sitting. His arms were intertwined behind his back while listening to your displeasure still over the marks the daemons had left. 

A sigh escaped you, knees moving inward as you embraced yourself. “I am so damn worried…In a month or so he’ll be here,” you murmured. 

“Is this a problem?” Ignis questioned curiously. 

“I’ve just…” It was embarrassing to talk about—very personal at best. Was it something you wanted to explain to your advisor and confidant? “I’ve never kissed a man let alone slept with one, and how am I going to do any of those things when he’s here? I am too scared to even try!” 

Ignis blinked rapidly at your remark, almost jerking his head back as if assaulted by those words. “Forgive my personal intrusion on the matter, but are you planning to sleep with him, Lady Y/N?” 

“At some point I’ll have to,” you answered, fidgeting with the shirt you wore in the comfort of your bedroom. “And how the hell do you do that with someone you hardly even know?” 

The dusty blond relaxed his composure best he was able. “You get to know them. When you love someone, there is hardly such a thing as judgment in the matter. If they judge you during intimacy than that’s truly all they care for, and it is hardly a relationship fit to last.” 

You looked upward at him, finding Ignis’ sights unwavering from where you sat. “What about you…?” you asked nervously, knowing this was indeed a personal topic. “Have you ever kissed anybody or slept with anybody?” 

Ignis coughed and cleared his throat before beginning a reply. “Well, I…I’ve never been with anybody, Y/N, so I saw no reason to do either of those things.” 

In a way, it made you feel relief that you weren’t alone in the matter; especially, given your age and how you felt you shouldn’t be a virgin anymore. “Really?” you asked as your body relaxed. “It’s the same for you?” He seemed to shrug his shoulders as if wondering what sort of response you wanted in addition to what he just said. Ignis was the only male around that you truly trusted and knew, and it was there in your blind fit of worry that you nervously asked, “C-Can you remove your shirt for me?” 

For the first time in forever, you watched as Ignis’ mouth went agape in shocked confusion. “P-Pardon me, Lady Y/N?” he stammered, not sure where this was going. 

“Just your shirt for right now,” you insisted. “You are…you are the only man I’ve ever really trusted in my life, and I want to see what you look like… _naked_ , if you don’t mind?” When he furrowed his brow and titled his head as if to disapprove of the thought or scold you with his eyes alone, you went onward, “Oh, c’mon! You saw me completely naked when you had to bathe me those many days and nights. Can’t it just be kind of even?” 

“That was for my duty, Princess,” Ignis reminded you firmly with a raise of a single brow, his lips thinned to show he might not even consider the thought even at your royal orders. “No perverse intentions were on my mind beyond aiding you in bathing.” 

You supposed he was right, so you decided to drop it in the moment. Bringing your knees to your chest, you laid to rest your forehead upon the dip between and tried to quiet your inner voice of doubt and fear. Why couldn’t it just be Ignis? He had been with you for so long it would feel far less awkward to try and kiss him and learn what being with a man in bed was like. Couldn’t he just see that as part of his service? 

An audible sigh escaped Ignis from what you could hear, followed by the sound of him removing his jacket and soon the resonance of clothing being discarded to the side filled the still air. “You may look, Y/N,” instructed Ignis from where he remained before you. 

Eyes moving upward to view that from his belt upward he was unclothed and merely standing in his pants and shoes for now, you continued upward to take in the nature of his body. For an advisor who knew how to defend himself and the Crown for your sake, he looked fit far more than you anticipated. Not a single scratch was on him but you did spy a freckle here and there just as you did on his face. Taking to your feet, you placed your hands on his upper arms to feel as he flexed on instinct when being touched as he was without his clothing. His eyes remained still and unmoving from yours as if to be sure you were satisfied with what you saw. 

“No need to be nervous around me, Iggy,” you insisted, planting a kiss upon his chest and hearing him gasp a quiet, uncertain moan of a sound at the act. Knowing he was probably a bit uncomfortable with things, you merely embraced him shortly after and rested your cheek on his chest with a heavy sigh. “I wish things were different…It would be so easy to be intimate with you and learn things with you if there was…a way.” 

Ignis relaxed, his arms unfolding from behind his back as he touched your shoulders to pull you to attention. “If you wish to explore me, that is fine, but we’d have to be careful, and it would have to be under your orders; else, I could get in trouble for bedding the Princess.” 

Seemed he was giving you the permission to order him in the act, and it made you laugh quietly to yourself in a form of relief. “We both could get in trouble should that be the case, but if you do not mind me trying a few things with you then…I’d like it to be you.” 

“Bear in mind I am as inexperienced as you, Y/N, so do not expect much,” confessed Ignis a bit anxiously in the matter though still remaining formal. 

“I have no judgments to pass on you, Ignis,” you expressed, urging his head down a bit closer to where you could at least kiss his lips as that was what you were dying to do at least for awhile now. Seemed he wasn’t expecting it and stiffen by accident. The kiss was simple. A mere peck now and again to just taste of the other before you got bolder and wanted to taste of him more, letting your tongue push past his lips to caress of his own. 

Ignis’ hold upon your shoulders loosened as he fell into the foreign act, his brow wrinkled to try and gather how he truly felt of being kissed in such a way. As your tongue continued to sweetly taste of his, he finally responded in kind to do the same in return. A moan vibrated audibly from his throat before slowly pulling away to kiss the corner of your mouth as if to say in his own way that was as comfortable as he felt doing something such as that for now. 

“Do you mind if I undress a part of you now, Y/N?” Ignis asked, his hands upon yours in time. 

“You’ve done it before,” you joked lightly given the situation. “I do not see why not.” 

“Again, I had no perverse thoughts in the matter,” he felt need to remind you with a shake of his head. When you agreed to his question, Ignis fingers took to the fabric of your shirt and lifted it up and over your head before putting it off to the side to let you stand a sort of equivalent to him at being partially unclothed till he took to your bra to unfasten it in a poetic motion. Upon you showing signs of uneasiness, he moved closer to let his body shield you as the intricate fabric fell away and to the floor beside your discarded shirt. 

You found solace in the act, moving your arms about Ignis’ bare back to hold him close and let your chest remain hidden a moment longer against his exposed skin. His skin was warm, his touch tender as he embraced you in return with his lips buried within your hair to kiss you reassuringly. Knowing he had seen it before, you eventually pushed back from his kind touch to expose yourself further with a nervous look. 

“You look beautiful, Y/N,” Ignis reminded you in a quiet exhale of delight, which was budding in his chest. 

With what encouragement you both could muster, the remainder of your clothing was soon sprawled upon the floor and you on the bed with Ignis blanketing you with his figure. Arms embracing him tightly, legs cradling him in place, you began to kiss him once more at his own command. The warmth of his breath filled you with a sort of erotic rhythm to rub against him and encourage his mind and heart into a yearning to do more though you could say you could easily feel what your rubbing was doing to him but trying not to be crude or embarrassing about what you felt against your leg in the moment. Ignis’ hands were careful, tender to the touch as he moved his fingertips from your shoulders down to your sides and soon one graced your outer thigh to lovingly pat against it. 

The sweet warmth of his lips left your own, his eyes lidded in a visible want to do more as he studied you there in the dim lighting of your bedroom. Your sights locked to his, you weren’t sure if you should feel nervousness or delight or both with what you knew was to come next. “I-I trust you, Ignis,” you whispered between you both, hand to his cheek to encourage him onward. 

Sighing through his nostrils, Ignis’ touch migrated more inward to stroke your inner thigh and make you quiver and submit to the budding sensation. “I will take it slowly, Lady Y/N,” spoke Ignis in the quiet of the room. “If anything begins to hurt, let me know, and I will cease.” As he moved more upon his elbows closer to where you rested, he gestured to you. “As it comes as no surprise, I do not have contraceptives, so I will need to pull out.” 

The thought disappointed you a bit as you wanted to experience all of it, but you understood it was better to be safe than sorry. Ignis’ fingers slipped through the divide of yours from where they rested on either side of your face and while the mere sensation of the sight of him shadowing you was pleasant, it came to a bit of a close when the engorged head of his erection pushed upon the lubricated petals of your entrance. 

“Shit, shit, shit…!” you swore heatedly, trying to adjust to such an alien sensation raking through you. The first part was a bit easier than the rest as it felt like part of you just wanted to tear apart at his size, not used to being entered at all. “St-Stop for a moment, Ignis!” 

The advisor did as you suggested, even pulling out of your body to let you settle as he saw the discomfort in your expression. “Are you alright, Y/N?” he asked in a breathless panic. His hands moved to touch upon your cheeks when he went back to supporting himself on his elbows. When you didn’t answer right away, Ignis’ expression fell to absolute fret. “My apologies! I didn’t mean to harm you—!” 

“—No, it…it’s fine…!” you insisted, taking to his wrists to sweetly caress the back of his hands to be reassuring. “I just…this is new, and I guess…it’s going to hurt a bit first, yeah?” 

Ignis’ eyes darted quickly off to the side before falling back on you. “If research serves me correctly, then yes—if you have a hymen or you’re just a bit new to _intrusions_ such as this. Verifying factors and all…” 

Wrapping your arms about his upper back and straddling his lower with your legs, you heeled him to urge him to continue. “Then go ahead,” you whispered hoarsely, moving your lips closer to his as if to try and seduce him back into the act. “It’ll hurt, but I know you don’t mean to.” 

Ignis stalled all the same, even if he found the sweet alluring taste of your breath intoxicating, nearly falling drunk upon it. “Are you certain you wish to give me this honor…?” 

“You are the only one I trust,” you reminded him with a sweet kiss to his cheek. “I would prefer nobody else.” 

You felt his knees dig into the covers on either side of your thighs as Ignis moved inward once again with an equally almost pain riddled face as he felt the tight warmth envelope him once more. A strangled, shaking moan parted from his lips in the process as he moved onward just a bit more till pulling partially backward again and then thrusting forward to adjust your body to his size. 

Your nails pricked Ignis’ back as you attuned to the loving yet painful sensation that fought for dominance in your mind and heart. Your breathing labored, your body rocked in unison with his in hopes to make the pain ebb away in time with every quick motion Ignis moved upon you in great grace. It eventually struck a high cord to where you did accidentally cry out in pain but it was in said moment you both felt it—the barrier of something wash away and the pain was replaced with the welcome tide of pleasure for you both. 

Moving to your face, Ignis began to mark your features with several kisses to distract your mind and, perhaps, worship you in a manner unknown to you. His breath was but a blanket of tender adoration you never felt before from anybody, Ignis’ embrace the very same. The strength of his arms kept you in a coil of what felt like unworthiness but still, he persisted with his hips rolling forward when he sheathed himself completely within you. 

In the heat of the moment, you felt your stomach boil to a sort of climax you never felt before, urging for it to come to a close as the euphoric sensation was so close to doing so. With Ignis, you could easily sense the same from him as his breathing was growing heavier and closer together and the acts upon your body were quicker than before. However, you went blind in the moment as your own climax was coming the closest it had ever been and it was there you heeled him in as far as he could go and let your walls close down around him, burying your mouth upon his shoulder to muffle your cries of excitement. 

“L-Lady Y/N!” Ignis exclaimed as he felt as though he was trying to fight your embrace. “Y/N, I have to pull back—!” 

You hadn’t thought to react fast enough and before you knew it, the budding warmth of Ignis’ release filled your body and made you arch into the odd, erotic warmth of the seed he was unable to keep from you. The thought hadn’t dawned on you right away though Ignis still fought to pull from you. You, on the other hand, were intent to bring the panicking advisor into a drunken embrace as the euphoria crippled you into a cuddling need. “It’ll be okay,” you whispered, kissing his warm cheek. 

“Lady Y/N!” Ignis began in a risen whisper of a voice that sounded as though he were going to scold you. Still, he tried to pull away but wasn’t exactly using all of his strength in the matter as he could easily overpower you. “Th-That wasn’t being cautious as I instructed! That was the opposite of—!” 

“—Shhh, shhh,” you spoke in a hushed voice in return, urging Ignis to at least find rest and relaxation upon your chest. “It’ll be just fine, I promise.” Honestly, you didn’t rightly know but you inwardly assumed that just one time as this wouldn’t harm anything in the slightest. 

 

 

 

Sometime during the night Ignis had relented and let you cuddle against him as you so wished. You found the bed warmer than usual, less lonely as well. Just opening your eyes at odd hours of the night and seeing him resting there was a sweet reminder that he was beside you and keeping you company even if he was in a very deep sleep. In a selfish want, you would have kissed him but you knew he was always a light sleeper in case you required anything in the middle of the night, so you dared not risk trying to be stealthy in stealing a kiss. 

When you woke later, you found the bed was feeling lighter—colder. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you gazed over at the spot of the mattress where Ignis once was to find he had left sometime during the night. “Ignis…?” you called, thinking he merely was just dressed for the day and yet somewhere in the bedroom. 

Nothing. 

As you slipped on at least something decent to walk about part of the palace in, you found the smells of breakfast urging you more towards the kitchen where Ignis had to be given the early hour. Mindful of the steps there, you wrapped the robe about you tighter as the castle was still very much frigid from the chill the previous night, finally finding Ignis within the kitchen as you suspected he would be.

 “Ignis, there you are,” you yawned against your hand to gain his attention. Given the situation last night, you knew it was a bit awkward to the point Ignis almost wanted to act like nothing happened it seemed, but you didn’t want it to merely be a one-and-done thing, so you reached for his arm to embrace it in a loving way. “You startled me being up so early.”

“Good morning, Lady Y/N,” spoke Ignis finally as he grabbed for a glass of orange juice for you to have for a beverage. As you were about to reach for it, he did seem to pull it back just a bit while pointing at you. “Y/N, it is fine if you wish to explore me in preparation for what lies ahead for you; however, last night…” He stalled, giving you a disapproving look. “…that is not to happen again, understood?” 

“Oh you mean the uh…” You stalled in wondering how to even respond to that but your expression said everything. “Yeah, I, umm…I didn’t mean to do that, Iggy.” Rubbing the back of your head, you sighed out quietly. “I guess it was just the heat of the moment and all, but I swear I will be more careful.” 

Ignis moved the glass back towards you again, letting you take it that time. “I’ll see to it as well,” he confessed as he continued onward with cooking the eggs before him. “I will go shopping later for such preparations myself.” 

“I guess shopping for condoms isn’t embarrassing for you,” you lightly teased, sipping the orange juice slowly as it wasn’t something you could drink in haste so early in the morning. 

“I’ve shopped for Her Highness’ monthly products,” jabbed Ignis in return with a lopsided grin. “I can handle purchasing anything, really.” 

Rolling your eyes at the playful jab, you pulled the rim of the drink from your lips. “Are you sure you’re fine with this though…?” Ignis turned to you when you asked such a thing, his expression alone asking you to elaborate. “I mean…being like this and all and letting me sleep with you when I want to?” 

“If I didn’t wish to be apart of it, I would have said so by now, Y/N.” He turned back to the breakfast he was making, finding the eggs to be done, so he slid them off onto the nearby plate with the rest of the items he had made. “There will be moments I cannot be available to do so, but if you wish it of me, I will gladly serve you as such.” 

The minor guilt you felt earlier began to recede and you smiled while your fingers tapped the glass of your orange juice. “Thanks, Iggy. That means a lot as I trust you far more than anybody right now.” 

Fixing your plate, Ignis served it to you with a smile that prevailed over his business like expression. “I thank you for the honor, Y/N,” he responded with a slight bow to you.

* * *

 **IMPORTANT! Please read before you comment** : I'm a bit tired of people getting frustrated that the story (that's not finished when I write this) isn't going their way, so let me say my peace of mind to stop the continued rain of pouring comments that scream disappointment:

I kinda wish people would stop trying to take away my own personal experience with a character I love when writing As You Wish, My Lady.

I am sorry you’re frustrated the reader isn’t always jumping at his dick at every turn, but I am writing this from my own personal view of him when I was introduced to this final fantasy game and being realistic along the way with the restrictions put into place for both.

I didn't like Ignis at ALL when I got into the series. If anything, I begrudgingly wrote to him when people asked me to only to have a series of events take place where it turned my focus on him around and saw that he was worth it and so much more. I only embraced him from a platonic standpoint until he made things change in time for me. That's what this story is--a girl who only saw him as a friend trying to make up for her bad choices while Ignis makes some of his own trying to win her companionship. Having the two randomly fall in love just because (X) event happened is so rushed and unbelievable that it makes my inner writer scream.

As a key reminder: I don't write like Disney--I write realistically. If realism in your inserts isn't your bag then please don't read it and bother to comment. I am not changing the direction this train is on. Also, please remember the story is NOT over yet. Nobody but me knows how this story will truly end. You do not have that honor yet, so hold your angered and disappointed keystrokes till the end of this story.

I don't want to get frustrated and stop writing this story all because people are upset their little Ignis isn't getting his happy end yet. I was harassed out of one fandom to the point of dropping everything and leaving because people didn't like my view of a character, and I won't let this happen again. So...if these frustrating remarks keep happening during an unfinished piece, I will drop the reader inserts and go to my novels and OC/Canon stuff where I know people will be less inclined to read and harm my views.

Thank you for your time. I appreciate those who have been supportive thus far.


	2. Chapter 2

At most nights you found your bed cold while others you found it accompanied by the presence of your advisor after you managed to sneak Ignis into your bedroom in the late evening hours of Altissia with the life of the palace dying around you for the day. It was innocent when it came to the private, sensual exploration of one another—at least, that’s what you told yourself and he perhaps did in turn as Ignis fell to your side in worshipping want without much effort on your part. He was still learning just as you were, but in the passing days of such intimacy, he seemed to pick up quickly on what excited you the most and what delayed such peak delight.

It was hard for you to say you knew what aroused and urged him into such stimulating states of euphoria as Ignis was content to bow to your needs over letting you tending to him. If you were to be honest with yourself, in the beginning you would have had it no other way as it left a sickening emptiness inside of you for not having the balmy breath of his moans and tender moving words upon your bare skin, the lingering and loving taste of his kiss upon your lips and the ever subtle way his fingers graced your figure as if to take in every part of you.

However, as time went onward, you grew a bit impatient with the idea of at least returning the kind care as you wanted to know what it would be like to handle a man instead of him catering to your every whim. The advisor, of course, won out with this round again and you were at his mercy there upon your bed after he tended to the garden of your desires and gave a steady rise to your arousal that he fed with loving, heated whispers of encouragement near your ear, which he too pulled upon with his lips between each sentiment.

Back arched into his melodic movements, you felt the wet warmth of his bare chest give affection to your own as a quieted, gasp of a cry escaped your lips at how deep he had buried himself within you. Teeth clenched at the tended to ecstasy, your fists balled near your head as you knew the climax your body had been crying out for was underway. You felt his thighs cradled yours as the advisor connected completely there in the dim lighting of your bedroom. He pulled back, sweat evident upon his features as his body and breath quivered in a need to release as well.

You assumed he would right away, but the man held his ground as his fingers toiled with strands of your hair to move the ones matted to your forehead in great care. As he had halted himself so, you felt him cautiously move upward just a bit to try and strike your sensitive walls and remind you of the tight fit all the more. Your cries pregnant with elation caught in your throat, reminding you that it was best to be quiet even in the dead of night. Ignis’ fingers sweetly rolled over your own, beckoning them to unfurl at his command as they slid within the divide of your touch.

As he loomed over you, you became well aware that he was prepared to release as well. His body thrusting forward once more to encourage the act from you, your body quivered and without hesitation under his administrations did as he quietly suggested with a brief cry quaking from your throat.

He smiled in satisfaction, breathing out a sound you understood as a lengthened ‘oh’ before you, as well, felt the budding warmth of his own release. You weren’t allowed to feel it completely as you did the first—merely in the restrains of the condom could you as Ignis wouldn’t allow such a careless act to happen once more. While you wished it didn’t have to be so, you understood why and took half satisfaction in what you felt until the advisor departed from you to empty out the used contraceptive.

“You always pull away too fast for my taste,” you panted breathlessly, wishing he’d at least let you embrace him for a moment longer and enjoy in the warmth that was contained in your body.

“Just being cautious,” Ignis reminded you, as he tossed what had been done to the trash bin nearby. “I’d rather you be cross with me than I have a bigger mess to clean up in time, Y/N.”

It seemed the first time was still an anxious thought on his plate. You knew day in and day out he still worried over the possibility he may have gotten you pregnant as he was always watching you closely—asking you how you felt and monitoring everything else that could be a telling sign of a baby on the way. In all honesty, it was starting to get you stressed and you would playfully smack his shoulder and tell him to relax.

As he did away with the used condom and found his spot there under the covers with you, you playfully spat at him with your arm draped across his chest, which was still dewed with sweat, rising and falling ever so calmly to regain his breath. “You are such a worrier, I swear. Nothing bad is going to happen,” you soothed, kissing the side of his neck to feel as it moved against your lips when he swallowed.

“ ** _If_**  we remain guarded, yes, my Lady—that is true,” your advisor corrected as he took care in handling with the lamplight to be certain it was off and only the moonlight cascading through the curtains gave any form of silhouette to Ignis in the coming moments. His hand moved, grasping yours to let it lay pleasantly to rest on his upper abdomen. “How do you feel? Are you alright?”

It was a different type of question than the last few earlier in the day. Ignis seemed always intent to be certain he didn’t over do it in regards to aggression or being too slow for your liking. “Just fine,” you answered, finding comfort near the nook of his neck. “I wish you’d let me enjoy exploring you sometime.”

With your hand in his own, he escorted your knuckles near his lips where he kissed you there again and again as if to praise you once more in his own ways. The more you focused on the way he kissed you, the more you realized it almost felt…different in some manner. In the heat of the moment, you didn’t focus too much on it, but you did feel special and as though you were the only thing that mattered to him. “Mmm, in time, my Princess. As of current, I am merely wishing to be spoiled first.”

You gave him a funny look that was no doubt lost in the darkness and him without his glasses. “You call pampering me being the one who is spoiled here?” A small laugh escaped you. “I’d say it was the other way around.”

In the darkness of the room, you heard his own quiet chortle that was barricaded in his throat. “Indeed,” Ignis said cryptically. “Soon his Highness Anduin will be here to give you the proper pleasure you so desire.” His words seemed to teeter between honesty and some form of somber tenor that you could swear you heard in his speech. “I am learning what I too can before he takes his seat beside you in a few weeks.”

A frown lingered upon your features as your fingers curled tightly on Ignis’ touch to show him support. “Actually, the problems still occurring within Niflheim are keeping him busy, so it may be another month or so till he shows up.” You sighed softly at the thought but a part of you found relief as well knowing it meant it gave you more times with Ignis.

Ignis merely hummed as if to ponder that over, giving you no indication how he truly felt even as he kissed your forehead in the veil of night shrouding your room. “Have you ever planned what you will do upon his arrival here? I heard his Majesty speaking of marriage when tending to breakfast. ”

“Of course he would be planning that already,” you groaned with a roll of your eyes. “I am sure the sooner they place my life in someone else’s hands, the happier they’ll be.”

“Y/N…” Ignis said in a scolding tone as he didn’t like it too much when you spoke in dishonor of your parents.

Frowning at his desires to silence you, your eyes flashed up at where you could just see your advisor in the dim lighting, which haloed his form. “I am not even going to apologize, Iggy… When I was sick and wrestling horribly with the aftermath of that daemon attack, you were the one running to my bedside to be sure I was okay and feeding me, bathing me and even helping me with my leg muscles until I could manage to walk on my own again. I only saw my parents a handful of times…” The pain of that struck at you harder than it should have, doing all you could to keep your tears at bay. “What parents do that to their bedridden child…?”

Ignis was quiet, uncertain of what even he could say in the royals’ defense. He seemed to ponder quietly back on those times at your mere mentioning of it given his sudden silence.

“Ignis?”

“Mm?”

“When I was out cold for several days, who was there beside me through most of it?” A part of you was scared to ask, but you had to know.

“My Lady,  _please_ …” Ignis sighed, massaging the space between his eyes as if to combat a minor migraine the question agitated.

“Who was it, Ignis!” you demanded to know in a higher whisper.

A sigh prompted his chest to rise and fall and you felt it against the arm that draped over him. “Your father came to your side as often as he could as did your mother…I, however, was there through most of it.” He tried to relax after releasing that bit of knowledge to you. “I was trying to get you to eat when you would be semi-conscious, but there were moments you would react violently to anything your body attempted to ingest, and I became frightened that you would die in my arms with how starved and dehydrated your body was becoming. I prayed to the gods every night that you would be alright, so when you finally roused, I felt my prayers had been answered even if you were in the most vile pain of your life.”

A sigh escaped your nostrils, finding some kindness in at least Ignis being there with you through most of it. “Hmph…well, because of the way they’ve treated me, I’ve made it a mission to make it unfeasible for any ‘true’ match to be one that’s idealistic for me.”

You felt Ignis turn at your confession. “Example…?”

“As a little girl, I used to tell my parents that if a man truly loved me, he would do the impossible for me.” Arm remaining at rest lazily across his chest, you smiled to yourself at the innocents of the memory while nuzzling against his bare form. “If he wanted to win my heart, he’d have to get me the very thing I ever wanted.”

“Such as?”

“A star—the brightest start from the northern most part of the sky,” you answered without restraint. “When my parents told me what I was asking for was impractical, I kept with it regardless.” A bitter frown tugged upon the corners of your lips. “I know no man could do this, but if that is the case, no man I marry or they force me to wed will be worthy of my heart.”

The bed moaned ever slightly under Ignis’ minor movements. You expected he would equally laugh at you and tell you that it was merely a child’s wish of a dream, but he didn’t. “And what if a man did bend to such a request or, perhaps, gave you something close to this innocent dream?”

You couldn’t contain the harsh laugh that sputtered past your lips as if to scoff that could happen. “If a man actually got me a star from the sky I would tell my parents ‘no, this is the one’ and marry him instead regardless of what they would say or do to me.” A pleasant sigh escaped you, eyes feeling a bit heavy as exhaustion was starting to set in given the early rise you always had to do day in and day out. “If he got me something close, well…good enough, I suppose, and I would see it as a nice gesture.”

Noting your tone labored with weariness, Ignis’ fingers brushed against your hair as if to urge you into the idea of sleep. “You should rest, my Lady. Tomorrow is another early day for us both.” His words whispered in kind upon your forehead before he planted a tender kiss there to seal such a sentiment.

Eyes already closed, you heard his words pleasantly rumbling from within his chest against your ear. “Mm…hmm…” you wearily responded, the sounds of everything thereafter becoming near to a dream. The lullaby like breathing patterns of Ignis ignited your passion to sleep as did the occasional creak of the bed when he would shift on the mattress.

Silence…but…

**_“I love you…”_ **

The words came from somewhere in your mind, but with how you teetered from reality and the dreaming world, you weren’t sure if they were truly said by Ignis or you merely dreamed it as your body was too exhausted to respond to such a damning phrase.

–

There were times you wished you could leave the suffocation of the palace walls whenever Ignis had to venture beyond them to head to the market to get food for the coming week or so whenever there was a shortage on ingredients. However, the times he usually ventured to do so, you were ordered to remain studying under the watchful eye of your music teacher who was relentless in his teachings of the piano. Ever you were to miss a key—a lazy mistake—he would swat the back of your hand with the music baton he carried. You deemed his ways harsh, but a princess had to be cultured and pass as the ever perfect lady even if it apparently meant a harsh teacher to have you be so.

While your hands ached less (at least) after the lesson, you were disappointed to notice Ignis had yet to return to the palace. Digging into your pocket for your phone, you sent him a text to be certain he was at least on his way back as you wanted to have him in your arms again.

 **Y/N (11:46 AM)** : Iggy, you left like three hours ago. Where are you?

You waited impatiently, sitting down on your bed as you knew he was usually pretty good at responding given how often he monitored his phone. The moment your device sprung to life with a quick reply, you smiled at just seeing his name.

 **Ignis (11:47 AM)** : Still at the market, Lady Y/N. Was there something urgent that needed tending to?

Pondering how to put it delicately as you didn’t want to get him into  _too_  much trouble, you rolled your tongue over your lower lip with a playful grin following shortly after as you typed your response knowing messages could be deleted if it came down to it.

 **Y/N (11:50 AM)** : How about my body and my heart? lol

Seemed the response caught him by surprise or he was busy as the advisor didn’t answer right away making you wonder what might have obtained his attention at the moment. When the warning of an incoming message being made showed up on his side, you waited eagerly for his reply just enjoying in flustering him a bit.

 **Ignis (11:56 AM)** : Princess, you’re going to get me in trouble. Try to keep such pressing needs for a more private setting.

Now that was just making you want to bother him all the more as you loved messing with him just to watch his reaction even if it had to be through text messages. However, you were aware you couldn’t get too out of hand as he was in a public environment and the last thing you wanted was for anybody to get the idea the advisor was indeed sleeping with the Princess of Altissia.

 **Y/N (12:00 PM)** : But I am just sitting here in desperate need for you to love me once more.

Again, his response delayed quite heavily that time as though a word you may have said threw him off of his guard. You didn’t read too much into it, but the response you got was hardly one you were expecting given the length of time it took him to answer.

 **Ignis (12:11 PM)** : Oh?

You jerked your head back with a raise of your brow. Was this guy for real? Ignis knew how to romance just fine in person but texting seemed to be something new all together with anything other than business matters.

 **Y/N (12:12 PM)** : What do you mean ‘oh’? lol I want you to  _tend_  to me, if you catch my drift, Iggy.

Again, he seemed to take awhile to answer but this time it was more his typing given the icon that notified he was responding. It made you curious if he was wondering what to even say or if he was embarrassed to say it.

 **Ignis (12:19 PM)** : Never mind that. Did you really want me to love you?

The question read more literal than sensual. Were lines getting blurred for him or was he really just this bad at texting discreetly in regards to sexual matters or any matter of the heart? Perhaps it was better to be a bit more forward at the current time? You loved Ignis but…laws and even a betrothal kept you from wanting to care to love him more than you did, so you merely kept him at arm’s length when it dealt with your heart.

 **Y/N (12:23 PM)** : I know I want you in my bed, letting me be the one to fuck you this time. I don’t want you having all the power.

 **Ignis (12:25 PM)** : How…poetic. I am going to have to delete that, Lady Y/N, just so you know. I don’t need anybody finding that message by happenstance. I’ll be home in just a little while. Try to keep your thirst a bit more prudent and hushed.

You still couldn’t help but laugh to yourself and roll your eyes at his behavior, putting your phone to rest on the nightstand nearby in your bedroom for the time being. However, in the silence of the room, you couldn’t resist the biting anxiousness, which crept upon you, to where it was starting to upset your stomach a bit and make you feel slightly nauseated.

Was he forgetting why you were doing this? You had a fondness to Ignis, of course—he put up with a lot of your tantrums and down moments where you felt lonely or though the world didn’t care, but to add a word such as ‘love’ into it was a bit…forbidden. If your father or mother found out about it, he would be punished severely, and you looked down upon as a dishonor to the family name (the last part something you could handle as you weren’t exactly walking with pride in their name to begin with). Ignis would no doubt be whipped, thrown out of the city to be fed to the daemons…made a villain to all in Eos for his unspeakable acts against a woman of royalty…you couldn’t help but dry heave at the very thought of waking up without him, leaving you to make haste to the bathroom incase something did indeed manage to come up beyond worry.

You continued to think on the consequences in the coming hour as Ignis had indeed arrived home but was busy putting away the things he bought in the kitchen and other respectable places of the palace with you ignoring his ‘I’m back’ message that lingered on your phone.

“Just need to remind him it’s platonic and nothing else,” you whispered to yourself, biting at your thumbnail in thought. “Soon Anduin will be here, and then this will all stop. Nobody will know…Ignis will be safe.” There came a knock at your door, making you move your finger from your mouth though still a bit nervous as you weren’t sure how loud your self mutterings were. “C-Come in.”

Given the elegance of the knock, you weren’t surprised it was Ignis when he graced the room. “I am unaware if you received my message, Lady Y/N,” Ignis began as he fixed his gloves upon his hands with a gentle tug of the fabric when entering further, “but I have, indeed, returned to aid you as you so beckoned before.” Noting the way you looked on the bed, the advisor hurried to your side to supportively touch your upper arm. “Y/N? Something the matter?”

Your eyes graced his and it was there you breathed out your worries as they seemed to melt away regardless under his touch and the mere caring look in his eyes. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you brought him in close, nuzzling into the nape of his neck. Ignis seemed to freeze at the physical response, in time he did sweetly embrace your body with his palm moving in a supportive and loving up and down motion. “I just…missed you.”

It wasn’t the honest truth but it wasn’t a horrible lie either. You didn’t want it to end—this fake union with Ignis—but you didn’t want him to fall under your selfish wants either.

Ignis could tell your words harbored some form of falseness to them but it wasn’t bitter in any form. He did pull just a bit of the way from your embrace, fixing his glasses on the slope of his nose when they began to bother him and he gave a curious gaze to you. “A fraction of that I believe, my Lady…but I won’t force you to divulge the rest.” Ignis gracefully moved once more, kissing the corner of your lips.

Again, the kiss felt different than the times before. It went from feeling bland with no reason other than to excite you to a kiss of meaning—a kiss to lovingly conceal the pain that was forcing you to speak erroneously. It made your heart ache in some manner. Instead of it healing, it stirred the nausea yet again, but you swallowed it down to your gut once more. Hands to his cheeks, you got the advisor to gaze at you. “Let me be the one to show you pleasure this time. I’ve never had the chance to.”

Ignis’ green eyes shifted about curiously as if expecting you to say more. When that precious word didn’t seem to come forth, he nasally sighed discreetly. “As you wish, my Lady.”

Grabbing at the leopard print shirt he had on, you guided his lips towards yours to kiss him lovingly and try to forget the worries that upset your stomach. The sweet, warm taste of his breath followed by the attentive grace of his tongue against yours brought you into a calming state once more. His fingertips gracing your flushed cheek, you blushed all the more at their tender caress with your advisor focusing on removing your clothing while you were distracted.

Coming back from the high of the act, you pulled from Ignis and halted his hands that were already keen to ignore you. “H-Hey now,” you whispered laboriously. “I told you that I wanted to tend to you.”

Ignis sighed, relenting to your request. “What would you have me do? Or more to the point: what would  _you_  like to do?”

Your hands pushed against his chest to make him at least stand up straight from where you sat on the side of your canopy bed. Without words to even mention what you wanted, your hands grabbed onto his belt to work on loosening it before sliding it hungrily from the loops of his pants. Ignis seemed to stiffen a bit as if worried what you’d uncover and upon finally removing the rest of the obstacles in your way, you noted that he was already a bit of the way there in terms of being erect.

“And what got you so excited?” you playfully asked, moving your hands down the sides of his hips and to his upper thighs to use that as a means to knock the rest of his clothing to submission there on the floor before bothering with his undergarments to let them slide out of the way next under your administrations. “Was it my texts or something else?”

Ignis cleared his throat, eyes darting away hastily before looking back at you. “A bit of it is to blame, I suppose,” he answered in a half truth, not being outright as to why.

“Really?” you questioned, finding that a bit hard to believe as he was acting like those messages were words flying right over his head. “And what exactly did I say that aroused you? Was it from the message you had to delete?” You were gentle in your touch, gracing the underside of his growing want before tenderly moving from the base to the head of the organ to excite the skin over the nerves and urge him onward.

A hiss of pleasure escaped past his lips as he tried to stand his ground on the matter and struggled to find his words. “Mm…M-More along the lines of you require my aid in terms of love.” Ignis’ hands flinched and he almost seemed to grab at you to make you stop in your actions, but he halted midway through the temptation.

You found the response again a bit odd, making you gaze upward at him as you steadied your touch. “I always need you at times, Iggy. That will never change.” When noting his reaction and how he almost was dedicated on stopping your progress on arousing him in the graces of your palm, you halted. “Not hurting you at all, am I?”

“Not at all, Y/N,” Ignis insisted with a heavy breath. “I just…never had such care placed upon me in these means beyond myself in private—!” Realizing what he divulged, the advisor was quick to halt himself and cover his face in embarrassment with his gloved palm.

“Oh really?” you questioned, licking the head of his erection to excite a moan as well as a followed tense of his body that occurred shortly after the minor eruption of pleasure. “And when exactly are you ‘handling yourself’ in private? And thinking of what too, I wonder?”

The curious question meant to open the ideas for more sexual banter seemed to fluster Ignis and he narrowed his eyes at you to deny you the answer. “Th-There are some things…even  ** _I_**  won’t share with you just yet, Y/N…!” When your mouth enclosed on the head of his cock, he gasped and nearly fell forward to submission but instead, grabbed onto your shoulder to steady himself a bit as you continued to work him innocently enough.

Hands upon his hips, you widened your throat to the best of your ability when you went from tending to the head of his erection further onward to where his hand was soon upon the back of your head to encourage you onward in the act. Your tongue in loving kindness scrubbed the underside of the swollen organ that appeared to expand all the more within your mouth and throat, making it almost impossible to swallow. Saliva dribbling from the corners of your lips, you managed to accept the advisor midway and continued with his encouraged moans and gasps of your name with a pleasant back and forth motion upon his manhood.

“Princess…!” Ignis gasped, his cries seeming to catch in his throat in a quivering pant before grabbing at your shoulders and seeming to push you away just a bit to let him savor every tender tug your lips added to the sensitive flesh of his cock till release. You expected it would be one you could be allowed to drink down for just a second out of curiosity of the taste, but Ignis would see to it you didn’t, and the warmth of his climax caught your face, hair, and chest more than it did your mouth or throat. Hissing through his teeth, Ignis worked on recollecting himself with another laborious moan that quaked past his lips. “S-Sorry about that, my Lady…!”

When you thought to touch the milky white release with your fingers after the sudden climax on Ignis’ part you were hardly expecting, again, the advisor was hasty in his actions to wipe it from your curious touch with a few tissues nearby. “You get to taste of me, but I don’t get the same thing in return?” you playfully huffed, letting it be done before taking to your feet to aid Ignis in the removal of the rest of his clothing.

“I don’t feel comfortable with that just yet, Y/N,” he insisted breathlessly, crumpling up the used tissues and tossing them in the nearby wastebasket as you removed his shirt he still had in place to expose his chest, which had become warm to the touch from your administrations.

“Fair enough,” you replied respectfully, arms sliding over his shoulders before embracing him tightly as if just to hold him and let the scent of him relax your remaining worries away. Eyes closed, you let the blanket of his aroma comfort you, his own hands (soon freed of the gloves) touching upon your body shortly after Ignis had managed to discard the remainder of your clothing in turn.

You didn’t even need to tell him you just wanted to embrace him, seemed the man just knew and responded in kind.

“Can we just stay like this forever?” you asked, words muffled against the nook of his neck as you spoke them. His head seemed to turn as if to try and gaze at you in wonderment of your request. “I could be happy just like this for awhile longer…”

Seemed you unwillingly departed with something in that statement, making Ignis beckon to you. “Y/N?” he questioned, his nose attempting to nudge your cheek to get you to look at him at least. “Is something wrong?” You slowly pulled from where you were resting against him, looking up into his eyes for the time being. “Is there something you wanted to tell me…?”

His words sounded hopeful in some way, but you regretfully shook your head with a fake smile. “I just want to be here with you right now is all.” Again, another half truth, but it was more truthful than false, leaving your advisor and companion to be alright with that response, not questioning it further as the warmth of his hand graced your cheek.

In time, Ignis’ back was upon your bedcovers as you took to hovering over him. He was still very much hard enough for you to position yourself over the head of his erection and ready yourself for the tight fit you knew was to come upon you yet again. Knees digging into the covers of the bed, you grabbed at the base of the erection soiled in your saliva from earlier, guiding it past the dewed lips of your entrance with a response and reaction that could be mistaken for pain and discomfort. As you did your best to keep your cries low and out of range of those that may overhear, your palms found their place upon his chest, which flexed to meet the weight of you.

Every up and downward movement loosened the tight sensation just slightly, allowing you to enjoy and feel every ridge of him (regardless of the confines of the condom he wore) in your hungry process to sate your need for more of him and live out this forbidden fantasy a bit longer. “I-Ignis…oh gods…!” you praised hotly as your body connected fully with his to where the curly mounds at the base of his cock gave an arousing sensation upon your bare skin.

His grip upon your wrists, you realized Ignis was asking you mutely to remove your hands to which you obeyed. His fingers sliding through your own grasp, he held you tightly in place as his hips rolled upward to meet you in a poetic, eager rhythm that brought your own mounting climax to a close as your walls caved in around him and excited another orgasm from himself in unison with you.

A series of panting gasps escaped you both as you moved to your elbows, cradling Ignis’ cheeks to steady his gaze, which was heavy from the euphoric aftermath. A loving and deep kiss that was simple at first turned in time to your tongue demanding entrance and with how sudden the act was, your companion hardly reacted in time. It was delayed as he struggled to regain his breath and your lungs very much filled with the fragrance of his heated gasps, but Ignis allowed it passage as he cradled you close to his bare body.

It was the middle of the day but both of you cared very little—leaving you to rest under the covers in the afterglow of your time together. The ever tender beating of Ignis’ heart escorted you into a pleasant slumber…at least until the nightmares of your worries caught up with you.

The dream was silent for a time, but you hardly needed sounds or words to understand what was being portrayed in the vivid reaches of your mind. Ignis before the council, your father and mother furious as your father pointed accusingly at the advisor who remained bowed in submission to their words that shouted into a void of nothingness that made you realize, as a figment of yourself stood in the crowd beyond reach of him, your father was sentencing Ignis in punishment for touching you in such a manner.

Ignis seemed to stand firm regardless, head bowed as he kept his hands clenched at his side. His lip lowering dejectedly at the news, you saw yourself scream while trying to reach out for him only to have the guards keep you at bay as two others near your advisor took him by the arm and jerked him away from the eyes of the council and the rulers of Altissia who whispered back and forth to each other with disgust at what was uncovered before them. Still, you fought to try and reach out to him but it felt as though he were miles from you, the distance between you only worsening as he was forced from the throne room.

The loud closing of the throne room doors echoed in the back of your mind as you screamed a sort of cry that became more audible in time with tears streaming down your face. The very tormenting thought you would never see him again gnawed at you. He was gone, and never again would you wake up to see him there before you no matter how much you wished it.

All because of your selfish needs and wants…

“ ** _IGNIS!_** ”

A heated gasp of fright brought you back to yourself in the bed you almost forgot you had fallen asleep in an hour or so ago. Even if Ignis was very much beside you, you hadn’t time to react or care to in order to find comfort in the idea as you felt sick to your stomach at the tormenting thought that felt real for that moment you endured it. Throwing the covers off of yourself, you stumbled forward before rushing to your wastebasket to gag and heave violently to where the remains of your breakfast emptied from your stomach.

“Y/N…!” Ignis called to you, panicked and uncertain of what could have caused such a reaction as he took to his feet and hurried beside you to be certain you were alright. “What ever is the matter?” he asked, rubbing your back to try and settle you.

It was embarrassing to be seen as this, but you hadn’t the stomach lately to be able to handle the intrusive thoughts as of late that plagued you at the very idea the two of you could be found out and Ignis banished…or worse. Hand to your chest as you stuttered and shook from the aftermath of the vile act, you felt Ignis’ touch in time upon your grasp before he ushered a tissue for you to use to clean your mouth with if you so chose. “A…a nightmare…A horrible…horrible dream.” You gulped, trying to keep down the temptation of vomiting once more.

Ignis let you speak, trying to bring you back down to a calm state with a gentle ‘shush’ now and again. “It was merely a bad dream, Lady Y/N,” he reminded you in relief.

“Gah…!” you gasped, eyes closed tightly as tears threatened to form at the very thought you could lose the one person you cared for. “By Leviathan…! I just…” Moving your quivering lip inward, you fell against Ignis’ chest as you tried to recover from the traumatizing thought. “Gods, I thought I lost you…I thought I was going to lose you, and I still do worry about it…”

It was gibberish to him. Ignis merely rubbed your arm opposite of him to continue to sooth you. “I am right here, Y/N,” he reminded you quietly, his words seeming heavy with some thought of personal matters. “Have these thoughts been making you ill lately…?”

“I-I guess,” you murmured, taking to your feet in time when Ignis escorted you to rise. “My stomach’s been all kinds of shit anyways, and I guess the nightmares don’t help that much.”

Ignis’ hold on your arms seemed to tighten, making you gaze upward at him as he seemed to dread speaking afterward when moving you back to the bed given the fact you were still unclothed. “Princess…when was your last period?”

Having that question given to you, you found yourself struggling for an answer as you hadn’t cared to think about it as you were enjoying in the personal company with Ignis for so long. “Umm…I don’t…I haven’t had it yet.” Seeing the risen panic in his expression, you quickly raised your hands. “Don’t freak out! I-I’m just late! I’m sure of it!”

He sighed, shaking his head as he took to his clothing to redress himself in a hasty manner before tending to your trashcan you had thrown up within. “I’ll return in a moment…”

Left alone in your bedroom, you too did your best to get decent as a fretful chill washed over you. One time…it was  ** _one time!_** Some women had to try many times before they could get pregnant—why would you be special? Again and again, you tried to convince yourself it was merely your nerves messing with you in terms of your upset stomach lately. It made sense…right?

Upon Ignis’ return, he came back with your cleaned trashcan but also removed a small box he kept hidden in his coat to hand to you. “A pregnancy test,” he whispered. “Go to the bathroom, and don’t let anybody see that. Don’t discard it in the trash there either—bring everything back to me.”

“When did you get this?” you asked, wondering if he was always skeptical after your first time together or he had known sooner than you in some ways something might be wrong.

“After our first and last moment together without contraceptives, my Lady.” Ignis nodded nervously towards the bedroom door. “Go. I’ll be waiting here as I tidy your bedroom a bit.”

Your feet felt glued to the floor till you managed to make your way to the bedroom door and down the hall to the public washroom in the palace in haste with the box covered.  _I’m not pregnant. I’m not…!_  You mentally insisted again and again, heart beating wildly in fear of the truth, praying with all of your might that it was indeed just nerves and nothing more.

If you were pregnant…there would be no lie you could truly tell in order to take the blame away from Ignis as very few men acted with interest of your needs beyond him.

It was agonizing waiting for the end result, but what was worse was getting it when you noted that the test had come back positive much to your dismay. Tears blurring your vision, your hands trembled as you wanted to throw it away and pretend nothing ever happened, but you knew why Ignis demanded you bring everything back—not just so he’d have knowledge of it but also so none of the servants could find it when cleaning up. Sitting upon the rim of the bathtub, you covered your face with your hands and began to cry uncontrollably in silence.

What now…? You were going to put an end to it all after that horrible nightmare and the painful thought of losing Ignis if this was ever exposed. Now, there was no way to stop this. In the end, you could very well lose him after all.

Hiding everything out of sight of any prying eyes in the hallway, you made it back down to your bedroom where you saw Ignis sitting there in anxious wait for your return. As he took to his feet to ask you what the news was, he held back the words as the defeated expression on your face spoke volumes to him.

“Y/N…” Ignis began, his head rolling to the side to where his shoulders slumped in defeat of the mere look of what the news was to be.

You shut and locked the door in haste, hurrying over towards him to hug him tightly and barricade the horrible sobbing sound that shook past your lips against his chest. “I-I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry…! I didn’t mean to be this careless…!” Your hold was tight…unmovable as you feared the moment you released him you would never see him again. “What are we going to do…?”

Ignis’ sigh was heavy and deep with a form of regret and fear equal to your own, but he did his best to conceal it and remain a pillar for you to stand on. “I will speak with the King tomorrow about this—.”

“ ** _NO!_** ” the words accidentally shot forth, your grip upon his coat tightening in desperation. Ignis paused in his speech, head jerking back at the sudden response. “L-Listen—Anduin will be here eventually, and I can sleep with him, and nobody will know the difference! They won’t know it’s yours!”

Ignis’ expression went from shocked and worried to stern and cold at the mere thought. “You would dare keep this from His Majesty, your betrothed and worse yet—keep my child from the truth of who I am?”

You shook your head in disbelief at his words, unable to understand why Ignis would be so willing to take the fall for this accident. “If it means you being safe and not alienated before all of Eos in the papers? Yes!”

His brow wrinkled in dismay, a sort of frown of anger you’d never had the opportunity to see on him before. “Princess, I am willing to make my mistakes right no matter the cost while you wish to hide behind a barrier of deception.” His tone was that of scolding you for your decision in the matter. “I refuse—I  ** _vehemently_** refuse—to have my child grown up in this palace without knowing I am its father while some other man gladly takes that title away from me! I will not just be its caretaker!” His words hardened, shouting so firmly you began to worry someone else beyond the walls would hear the truth you were desperate to keep buried.

“Ignis, it was an accident!” you reminded him, feeling your breath leave you as he moved unemotionally away from your touch. “You weren’t meant to be the father of any child I was to have!”

Again, his green eyes widened in a mixture of feelings hard for you to pin down in the heat of the moment, but you could sense a form of pain in the expression. His teeth bared in disgust at your statement, peering at you as though you had attempted to become some villain in his eyes by denying him something he wanted. “I am going to speak to the King about this matter regardless of what you may wish, my Lady—that is the end of that.”

Hearing him threaten such a thing as he attempted to leave the room, you panicked and lashed out by accident. “I forbid you to, Ignis! I-I order you to stand down!” you retaliated, a foul taste in your mouth arising at treating him like he was nothing more than an advisor and less of a friend you had grown close to.

Ignis stopped dead in his tracks, hand just inches from the doorknob when he heard your words. He turned slowly, the look in his eyes that of shock and a form of disgust that you would treat him as such given the past month you two had been intimate with one another. “You  ** _order_**  me to, my Lady?” he asked, trying to be certain he heard you right as he turned on his heels to face you once more. “You would do this to me? You would use your power over me to silence me so!”

His words continued to growl with aggression as he gestured to himself, making you sick to your stomach yet again at the very idea you had to do this just to try and keep him safe from what you deemed a horrible fate. Tears welling in your eyes, you backed up slightly from his advances towards you with your fingers fidgeting with one another. “I want you…I want you safe, Ignis…” you whimpered, teeth biting upon your lower lip as it quivered in inner repulsion at what you were forcing him to do. “I-I don’t want to lose you…! You’re the only friend I have!”

His back straightened, face relaxed only a portion at your response to him. “Then what friend orders the other’s silence…?” Ignis asked, his words labored with pain at releasing them from their dwelling in his throat. “What friend treats the other lesser than?” You heard his arms fall to his sides as if in defeat, your teary gaze downward at your feet as you were too ashamed to look at him. “I truly thought I meant something far more to you, Princess.”

“Ignis, I’m sorry!” you screamed, fingers buried within your hair before harshly removing them as you felt like you were losing him no matter what given the direction of the conversation.

Ignis looked away when your eyes graced his. Body limp with surrender, he turned once more with his arms rising and falling shortly after as if to shove away the conversation, headed for the door to leave. “Speak with me again when you are far more reasonable, my Lady,” he murmured in a quieter tone before opening your bedroom doors and excusing himself.

You hadn’t the drive or the want to follow him. Collapsing to your knees there in the silence of your bedroom, you covered your mouth to stop yourself from wanting to scream once more as your tears continued to mark your features. Embracing yourself, you trembled uncontrollably at the very fear of losing the only thing that mattered—him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, loves, for your support. <3 It really means a lot. It is truly nice to see that the story is enjoyed. Certainly keeps the inspiration going.

The guards of Altissia grabbed at Ignis’ wrists, forcing the man down to his knees once his jacket was torn from him. Arms outstretched to the extent in which they could reach by the two men at either side of him that had Ignis restrained, the captain grabbed harshly at the collar of Ignis’ undershirt, making the advisor gag and cough as it felt like they were threatening to choke him. The guards merely scowled at his lack of a struggle as the captain ripped the fabric from the front in time, the other guards assisting in removing his last barrier against his skin to which left Ignis kneeling in only his pants and the rest of him exposed.

“You hardly fight for your crimes, boy,” chastised the captain with a furious sneer as he soon departed from behind Ignis and ventured to the front where the former advisor remained contained. You weren’t sure if it was always there or he had perhaps grabbed it from one of the tables nearby, but as the captain gestured to Ignis you noticed he was carrying a whip in his hands.

“I gave my rejoinder to his Majesty prior,” spoke Ignis with no form of regret in his actions. Looking up through the dusty blond hair that had fallen close to his sight, he seemed to show determination of some sort in his vision. “But if it pleases you in some form to hear it once more…” His voice trailed off, green eyes darting in your direction where you felt you must have been standing to bear witness to this act against your accused before his sights found its rest back on the captain. “…I coerced the Princess at my own volition to love me and break tradition to bed with me.”

While the whip had been coiled up in his grasp, the captain still saw fit to use the bundled leather twine to strike upon Ignis’ cheek, making the skin split and bleed from the harsh impact. The sight was horrific—a man who dedicated his all to you, a noble and loving man, treated like a common criminal who had wronged the royal family when it was all your fault.

“Stop it!” you pleaded tearfully only to be pulled back from the scene and near the wall by a force or perhaps guards you had little care to look for in the moment. All you knew was your heart grew heavy at the very thought Ignis was willing to take the fall for you and lie to spare you resentment from your family.

“You speak of it as though it holds no weight, you bastard,” spat the captain in disgust as he slowly raised to his feet once more, unfurling the whip to let it fall to the floor before Ignis. “Now she is holding a child not of noble blood inside of her all because of your wicked acts!” The captain of the guard moved yet again, trailing behind Ignis and the sound of that whip dragging on the floor never felt so threatening before until that very moment as you took it all in. “You were asked to serve, guide, and protect her!”

When such words were said to him, you saw Ignis’ eyes look to you. He wasn’t chastising you with his sight when those words left the captain’s mouth, nor was he begging for your aid to make the coming torment stop—he seemed to imply that the captain’s words were what he was doing, willfully, at your request and to not feel sorrow for him.

“Not maliciously ravage her body like the dog that you are,” the captain continued through his clenched teeth as he stood behind Ignis.

 _Don’t do this_ , you pathetically mouthed to Ignis as you noticed he was looking at you still.

Your advisor said and did nothing, his gaze falling away from yours as his fingers curled inward in the grip of the other soldiers while waiting for the impact of the whip he could hear hissing and biting at the air around them when the captain moved it threateningly.

As the wicked device swung faintly back and forth in the captain’s touch, you watched with a sickening heaviness in your gut as it gained momentum till a loud  ** _CRACK_**  filled the air, Ignis tensing and biting at his lower lip from the immense pain that raked through his body as his skin cut at the harsh laceration. Again, you tried to fight what had you to get to his side but to no avail.

The sound was merciless…constant. The horrible cracking resonance echoed unpleasantly around you and while Ignis fought to put up a strong front in the beginning, you saw and heard the mask giving way to his pain as he cried out in the most ghastly manner as time progressed at a sluggish pace—new marks being added on top of one another and added further blooded agony to his body.

Hands to your head at the sight of him being tortured on your behalf, your fingers curled inward and had you the willpower, you would see to it you bled as your nails pricked your scalp in damnation. “ ** _NO…STOOOOP!_** ”

Your eyes flew open, a heavy gasp of a breath took in the chill of the air around you before you threw the covers off of your body to give way for you to sit upright in bed from the nightmare that consumed you. It was so vivid…so real…As you stayed in the shelter of your bedroom you looked around to be certain that it was indeed merely a dream.

Embracing your body with a quivering inhale of sorrow that grasped your frail form, you instinctively placed a palm upon your stomach wishing that none of it were true. Lower lip quivering in a need to say something, your eyes flashed from one side of the room to the other in desperation.

You hadn’t spoken to Ignis all day as you hadn’t the courage to face him after what words you both last departed on; however, as it were, you couldn’t bear the nightmare gnawing you alive. Taking to your feet, you ignored your slippers near the bed in case you ever had to venture about the halls at night and tiptoed in a hurry to the door and made haste to Ignis’ bedroom door to knock upon it relentlessly.

In your ever fearful banging on the door you heard movement in an instant on the other side and before long, Ignis opened it to stand there with his hair loose upon his face and his robe being tied into place. Fixing his glasses upon his features, he tried to make sense of the rube awakening and while you expected he would be mad and turn you away, he merely stared at you in concern.

“My Lady? Whatever is the matter? Are you ill?”

Your breathing quivered upon each inhale, relieved to notice it was merely a nightmare and nothing more yet again that stirred your worries. However, guilt from prior equally made its home within you as Ignis stood attentive and caring as before, regardless of your vile actions at him to silence him and treat him as though he had no importance in your life. Tears pricked at your eyes before they overcame you and marred your skin at their journey down your face as you fell against him and hugged Ignis with a choking sob.

Ignis, caught off guard, pivoted back on the ball of his foot to steady himself against your weight before embracing you to try and calm you. “Y/N…?” he questioned as he wasn’t sure of where the hug’s origins meant even if he could take part of a wild guest.

Mouth opening, you threatened to tell the truth, but you felt the nightmare at the current point was not important. Nose burying against his chest, you bit at your quivering lip to steady it. “I’m sorry, Ignis…I’m so, so sorry…! I-I didn’t mean to hurt you…!”

Gazing up and down the hallway, Ignis knew someone could easily come by and spy the two of you, and so he escorted you into his room before locking the door behind him.

He knew not what to say. At current, you felt his chest push against your face as he inhaled deeply a sigh of equal regret before ridding himself of it. “Come,” he spoke softly in the dim lighting of his bedroom, escorting you to his bed to aid you in sitting down. While his slippers were far larger than yours, he slipped them on your feet regardless to give you comfort from the chill on the floor that was untouched by carpet. “I’ll fetch you some water as I wish not for tea or coffee to harm the child.”

A part of you wished he wouldn’t speak of it, but you knew Ignis was intent to be a bit more open about this than you wanted to be. “I am sure either of those would be fine even for a baby,” you commented with a bit of an attitude you tried to retract as now wasn’t the time to be hostile again.

Ignis stopped just near the door for a moment, turning to give you a disapproving look. “ _Water_  will do for now,” he stressed to curb your comment he was probably inwardly blaming on hormones given the current news. “I’ll return in just a moment, Lady Y/N, and when I do, we will talk then.”

You nodded, laying in wait for him and found reprieve in his return as he offered you a water to drink—Ignis obviously taking a bit of coffee to calm himself as well as wake a bit further. Again, you debated on what to say, eyes peering past the rim of your drink to take in the calming ripple effect that would occur on occasion whenever you dared disturb the liquid.

“My Lady?” Ignis called, kindly ordering your attention from where he sat beside you on the bed. “Your knocking was frenetic, if you don’t mind me saying so…as though you were in trouble.” He paused, lips halting near the rim of his coffee cup. “I highly doubt you came rushing here to beg my forgiveness.”

You looked away, feeling a bit bad that he would say you wouldn’t run to his side to do so. “Am I truly that cold to you, Ignis…?” Fearfully, you awaited the answer.

Ignis’ green eyes darted away for a moment as if to reflect on different times he kept buried pleasantly somewhere in his memory. “No, my Lady,” he breathed out in a whispered sigh. The orange glow of his lamp gave a soft and otherworldly look to his features as he caught your gaze once more, moving a bit into that light to where the sunset hue collided with blackness. “However, there was a time I remember a wild, free, and loving young woman that I tended to when I was a small lad. She was always getting into trouble—mudding and tearing her dresses, playing with wooden swords for practice in the sanctity of her room, sneaking out of the palace at all hours to where I had to follow her, and when his Highness, Anduin, would come to her side, she never looked at me much different.” The advisor’s smile was well hidden in the darkness but in that orange glow it was found by you. “If anything, I recall pleasant memories of her grabbing my hand and begging me to come and play with her more till the ever elegant teachings of being a lady beckoned to her and the needs to be at her side as her advisor harkened to me.”

They were distant memories, but in truth, most of them you did remember as well. You just didn’t think Ignis had a soft spot for them in his heart.

“You used to sneak me into your bedroom to hide me under your covers to talk and laugh into the forbidden late hours of the night, Y/N,” Ignis continued, catching your wandering gaze in that moment. “Do you recall that?”

You swallowed loudly, looking off at his TV in the room as if expecting that would hold the answer. “Only vaguely, Iggy.” A small, witty laugh escaped you as you fidgeted with your nightgown. “Currently, all I remember is sneaking you under my covers to do other things.”

Ignis found some small means to laugh at your joke, but it was quickly hidden away in the veil of night. “You used to…hold me…” He seemed a bit hesitant to speak of it. “You used to hold me like I was your best and only friend—made me feel like only I mattered to you even when your betrothed was nearby.” Ignis paused, fingers tapping on the side of the porcelain cup he held as if debating on whether or not to continue. “Then there came the Moogle Chocobo Festival when you were sixteen or so I want to say…and you just looked at me differently.” His brow furrowed. “Like I was more a problem than a blessing in your life.”

Your lower lip fell dejectedly at that confession, hating that those last words sounded so heavy with mourning.

The advisor’s swallow was audible in the heavy silence of his bedroom, his eyes turning to you. “I fought valiantly to become your friend yet again—to be looked upon as someone you adored and to be pulled into your room once more in the late hours to do anything that made you happy, but it feels as though I merely worsened the path to your heart somewhere along the way.” He shook his head slowly in confusion. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answered without hesitation, the response quivering in sorrowful agony as you hadn’t realized any of that mattered to him. “My parents, I…” You reclined against the headboard of his bed, closing your eyes tightly as tears, yet again, fought to blind you. “…They were always there for me when I was younger, and as I got older, I just started to see the trend: they never bothered to come to me, because I had you.” Head rolling to the side, you found the courage to catch Ignis’ sight. “I felt that if I got rid of you somehow or made you get so mad and annoyed with me you’d just leave me alone that they would come to my side again, but…” Realizing how awful and selfish that sounded, you covered your face with one hand to the best of your ability as it all soon faltered under the weight of sadness. “I’m sorry, Iggy…I was a monster to you for many years, and you didn’t deserve it.” Not having the energy to bother with even holding the glass, you placed it on his nightstand for the moment before moving in closer to hug him tightly. “But please…don’t ever question how much I care about you, because I won’t let that happen again. It is why I want to hide the fact this baby is yours.”

“Y/N,” Ignis scolded, not liking where that was going.

“Ignis,” you began sternly, steadying his sights on you to let him witness how serious you were, “I keep having nightmares about what they’ll do to you should they find out the truth! I don’t want any harm to come to us!”

Ignis sighed, his own coffee mug going to the other table nearby on his side of the bed to free his grasp as he touched upon the back of your hands to remove them from where they were, holding them in a reassuring manner. “Y/N, they are merely dreams—unpleasant thoughts and mere mirages of the mind to drive away logic in any frightening situation; and you give them power when you fall prey to them.” He felt your fingers coil inward, wishing he’d be sensible in this and just play along. “My Lady, if you are so frightened of what the royal court and this world would think of you, I will take the blame fully for this matter, and you will be spared.”

“No!” you spoke in a harsh whisper between you, shaking your grasp to try and free it from his. “Iggy, you are willing to accept the consequences in this because you think my father and mother will be kind in the matter, but that’s not how these sentencings go!” When he tried to look away from you as if to deny that your vision would come to pass, your palm rested in kind on his cheek to shepherd him back to you. “In their eyes you are but the royal advisor to the coming Queen of Accordo, and you—one of not noble blood—slept with and impregnated a princess at her request.”

You felt as Ignis moved ever so in your grasp, a sigh passing from his lips as he had not the will to look at you as this truth came out. A part of you in the moment wondered why he struggled so and why he wanted to just be open about this as you never assumed he cared so deeply for you beyond that of a friend.

“While I know my nightmares are over exaggerating to an extent what they might do to you, I know the end result will be close to the same, and I will lose you to banishment at the very least as they ship you back off to Tenebrae.” Your stomach rattled with illness at the very thought and you fought back the desire to heave. A quivering inhale gave small life to the still air in the room as you gripped upon his cheeks fretfully. “You would want to raise this child as it is yours, and had I the power, I would see to it so that it saw you fully as its loving father…but if they know you are the one that sired it, they will never give you that chance and the last vision you will hold in your heart and memory next will be one where your baby is crying out for you as you leave here.”

Ignis flinched, you dealing him a grievous wound at that thought and perhaps it was the lighting or a mere trick of the eye, but you swore you saw his eyes glisten with tears.

Tears did waver your vision as your fingers coiled upon his skin in great need. “Please, Ignis…At the very least, you can remain here as its caring father in secret and still watch your child grow, but don’t let them take you from me—from  ** _us_**.”

A small gasp of pain escaped him in the moment and the advisor cleared his sinuses as he sniffled harshly. “I cannot comprehend what chastisement will be far worse for me, Lady Y/N.” While you couldn’t see it well, you could feel it as a tear cascaded over your fingertips in the dim lighting of the room. “To have such a horrid memory placed within me as I speak the truth, or to watch day in and day out as his Highness Anduin gets the liberty and joy of my son or daughter calling him ‘father’ while I am looked to as some servant, coveting the truth from everyone including my child.”

Your shoulders fell forward as if to surrender to the heaviness weighing upon them. “I am sorry I have done you evil that I cannot undo, my friend.” It was then your fingers tended to the dusty blond hair that was upon his forehead to try and be comforting.

“Friend?” Ignis parroted as if offended by that word alone somehow, moving from your affectionate touch upon his tresses. The look in his eyes, which was caught in the lamplight just a bit, flashed with a sort of upset equal to his frustrations earlier.

“Wha…What have I said wrong?” you asked, pulling your hands from him to let him be if he so wished it.

“You previously said you wanted me to love you, Lady Y/N,” Ignis responded firmly, misunderstanding your words you spoke somewhere. “I don’t know many friends who ask that of one another…”

Frantically, you tried to think of a time you may have said something so bold to your advisor. “When did I ask this?”

Sighing vocally in a bit of frustration, Ignis moved on his bed to reach for his phone he kept nearby in case of emergencies and as a personal alarm. His fingers gently plucked away at the screen before finding what it was he was looking for. “Sent at earliest noon by her Highness: ‘But I am just sitting here in desperate need for you to love me once more’.” Ignis waited for a response from you, perhaps a part of you not having a means of which to dodge away from what you texted him earlier in the day.

“What?” you questioned, face contorted in utter confusion as you took his phone to get a better look at the text messages to remember that banter when he was at the market. Reading the messages over again fully, it was beginning to make sense as to why Ignis got lost in the moment and was hung up on that word when you were just being sexually playful. “I…” For a moment, words were difficult to form as they became jumbled in your mind and dared not leave your throat. “I-Ignis, I was just sending you playful thoughts to tease you and arouse you.” You witnessed as his hand went to his face as if to wipe away exhaustion or perhaps his tears as well. “You know I am betrothed, right? You know that a union between us could never be possible.”

It was Ignis’ turn to stammer in embarrassment and, what sounded like, heartache. “I-I just assumed that you were having second thoughts with him, Y/N, and that you were—.” His lips moved inward, head lowered in defeat as he was perhaps realizing how foolish he had been. “So I do not have your love at all…?”

“Ignis,” you began, putting the phone aside and holding his hands tightly in yours, “I love you like a friend I can trust with my own life, my secrets, and my needs—.”

“—But you trusted me with your body, Y/N!” Ignis interjected heatedly, not wanting to accept the truth. His words were accidentally so loud you had to shush him with your fingers to his lips and the hissing sound that departed from you. “You allowed me to be the first man to pleasure you even before his Highness! You permitted me the unbridled joy of kissing and caressing upon you in places only the gods had the right of seeing upon your creation, and in that forbidden union we made a baby that I still feel pride in regardless the circumstances that may be! Does my tender gardening to your body not allow me some credence to your heart as well, Y/N, or am I even barred from that like some common criminal who wishes once again to rob the royals of this world?”

You shook your head feverishly, hating his duty in your life had changed all because you willed it. “Ignis—!”

He gestured at you angrily. “Don’t you dare tell me that this was all a request from a Princess to her advisor, my Lady, or my fury in this matter will not be contained!”

“Ignis, you misunderstood me and my feelings!” you exclaimed quietly between you, grabbing at his arms to steady and calm him. “You are a man I trust with everything, and it was my fault for trusting you with more than you should have been allowed to have!” Your forehead found rest against his chest as you gripped onto his robe tightly to continue to beg for mercy. “All I can do is ask for your forgiveness—something I know I am unworthy of.” Your body quivered as you cried without a barrier to conceal the pain you were going through at the idea you could lose him. “Ignis, you mean so much to me…maybe not in the way you want me to but don’t leave me, please…!”

Ignis was quiet, his body stiff as you continued to cry upon the open area of his robe where the warmth of his skin graced you. Another somber sounding sigh caused his chest to press lightly against you. “I will…I will see this through to the end, my Lady…” He paused, you noting how he closed his eyes in regret of it all when you peered upward at him. “Whether I win or lose in this fight I am now in, I swore an oath to protect and guide you no matter the cost, and I intend to keep to it till my dying days and even thereafter.”

Pulling from him, you searched his eyes for a true meaning he was barricading behind that statement somewhere that he wouldn’t allow you the right to having. “What will you do?”

Ignis’ inhale that time was quivering, almost resentful of what words he was about to depart with. “Contact his Highness of Niflheim…See if you cannot speed up his arrival here.” His palm found rest upon your stomach, a sorrowful frown evident there in the darkness of the room. “If we wait too long, everyone will know it is not his.”

“I’m sorry, Ignis…” You felt like you couldn’t say it enough, hands upon his wrist to plead for some form of kindness from him that you could depart with feeling better about the ending of this situation. “I shouldn’t have been so stupid and selfish…”

He removed his hand from your stomach and curled his grasp in yours to hold it reassuringly. Ignis looked as though he was going to speak, but his speech halted in his throat. “I’ll see to it there’s a happy ending over the horizon, Lady Y/N.” Moving closer to you, your advisor kissed you upon your forehead…a sort of kiss that lingered with another hidden meaning you weren’t sure of as it felt like a mixture of things—sorrow, forgiveness, defeat, love, or strength. “Now…” Ignis grabbed the cup of water before bothering with his now cold coffee, not having the care to finish it either way even if he was used to cold coffee given all the Ebony he drank. “…go get some rest. It’s late, and I’ll need to be up soon to tend to breakfast.”

“Can I not just stay here?” you asked, words broken upon your sadness as you hated you had hurt your friend in such a horrible way and would continue to do so just to keep him near you still.

“No,” he whispered firmly but cushioned the blow of those words by caressing your cheek with his palm. “I need to be alone, my Lady.”

Reluctantly, you found your feet and removed his slippers to let him keep as you could handle walking to your bedroom barefooted. Departing from his bedroom with a heavy heart in the matter after saying goodnight to one another, you debated on what you would even tell Anduin in order to get him to Altissia sooner to hide behind the lies you wanted to weave to spare Ignis.

—-

In the end, you were successful. You managed to urge Anduin into heading for Altissia by claiming you were in dire need of his presence, and perhaps a bit of forced crying over the phone helped in proving you were lonely and still suffering fake pains from the daemon attack a month or so ago. You knew it was a long trek from Gralea where he resided to Altissia, but he did insist over the phone he would get there with little rest no matter the cost, making you feel a renewed sense of guilt that you were playing him for a fool.

Ignis kept to watching your diet and making certain foods extra from your plate out of watch of the kitchen staff to be certain both you and the baby were doing well. He did his best to be beside you when work about the palace didn’t call him away, but he seemed to keep an odd distance in terms of business that he refused to let you in on. You assumed he was still upset and just left it at that, even if it hurt to do so.

As you tried to find peace in a book one evening, you did hear Ignis swearing to himself as though he were in pain—as if he had cut himself, perhaps. Putting the book to the side, you hurried to your feet and rushed to the other room that belonged to him to let yourself in without even so much as knocking.

“Ignis!” you exclaimed, noticing he was holding his right hand, hunched over ever slightly with a hiss of annoyance. Getting a closer look at his hand he was holding, you noticed frostbite had abused his flesh and he was quivering from the pain that no doubt ripped through him at having mishandled an ice spell. “By Leviathan, Ignis!” Running to his side, you embraced him from behind before ushering him to sit down. Normally he was very careful with his magic usage, graceful as well. You had seen what he was capable of in the training hall and just on the outskirts of Altissia when the two of you managed to escape the palace, so him messing up a spell was very clumsy and novice of him—uncharacteristic in fact. “What did you do!”

He steadied his breathing from the harsh bite of the backfired spell. His teeth gritted and brow furrowed as he tried not to succumb to the pain as if to prove he was stronger than that. “It-It was nothing, Princess,” he insisted, fingers seeming to be frozen in place and an uncomfortable pale and blue sight in color. “I was just not being cautious.”

“You are never this clumsy,” you reminded your advisor, breathing upon the injury with your breath in hopes to thaw him before hurrying to your feet to grope through his drawers to find the potions and other tonics he kept nearby for emergency usage. “Besides, you know how I feel about ice after those Ice Bombs nearly froze me to death!” You had become a bit fearful of it, in all honesty. The way ice could bite so cruelly that it felt as though it had teeth of fire was unnatural to you and the very reminder still vaguely haunted your body. “The last thing I want is for you to suffer through that as well.” Hiking your gown out of the way, you ran to his side once more to break the potion bottle in your hand before touching upon his injury to let the medicine sooth it.

“An experiment gone awry, my Lady,” Ignis spoke with a steady in and outward breath as the tonic rid him of his wound and allowed him the pleasure of moving his fingers once more as the color returned to them. “I promise to be more cautious in my future endeavors.”

“As long as you guarantee that,” you sighed with relief, releasing his hand to let it lay to rest upon his lap. “What experiment are you doing exactly?”

Ignis shook his head with a brief smile. “Perhaps you’ll see it in time when it is completed, Y/N.” He flexed his fingers to be certain he could indeed move them once more.

You scoffed playfully with a roll of your eyes. “Yes, watching your elegancy on the battlefield is poetic and quite the experiment in wait. I am eager to see what new moves you’ll have but…ice?”

The advisor side-eyed you. “Ever dared to learn to overcome your fears, Y/N?” He fished for his gloves to wiggle his fingers back into place within them.

“Well I can do just fine with my own lance and shield, Iggy,” you insisted, raising your hands at the very thought of doing anything of the sort. “Besides, I am pregnant. Would you really want to stress me and the baby out?”

“Learning to handle magic is hardly a stressful endeavor, my Lady,” he kindly reminded you.  “But, I can wait if you wish to learn.”

You smiled at the thought but paused for a moment when you heard your phone going off. Digging into your pocket you noticed a message from Anduin was there for you to view saying he had arrived and was on his way to the palace. Eyes lidded in a mixture of emotions you tried to smile at the pleasant thought before responding with a ‘can’t wait’ text, pocketing your phone once more.

“What is it?” Ignis asked, noting the look in your eyes.

“Prince Anduin is here,” you responded quietly, knowing Ignis was probably not looking forward to this moment given your talk a few nights ago. “I better get prepared to meet with him.” Slowly, you rose to your feet with her hands folded before your gown. Ignis seemed to look away at the mere mention of Anduin, something he never truly did before in the past. “Did you want to come with me?”

“I am loathed to do otherwise, my Lady,” he whispered, fixing his glasses on the slope of his nose before rising to his feet, “as I aim to be at his services as well as yours.”

You hated that you had forced Ignis to view Anduin as a rival in some form. If you hadn’t coaxed those feelings Ignis had you could still have your friend—right? But in truth, you never knew how long he may have loved you. It could have even started before you persuaded him into the thought of bedding with you. Your hand moved to Ignis’ once more to try and urge him to pay mind to you. “It’s going to be okay, Iggy. I promise…I’ll think of something.”

Ignis peered down at you, heart aching all the more as he flinched at the very thought of what was to come ahead of you both. “Let me worry of what I need to, my dear. You focus on tending to his Highness when I am unable.”

You waited anxiously at the front door to the palace with Ignis beside you. You hadn’t seen Anduin in forever it felt. You both talked on the phone and through some cam chats now and again on the computer, but it never felt the same as him actually being in the same room as you. When the gates parted, creaking on their old hinges, you smiled best you were able at the sight of him coming up the pathway with a few royal servants aiding him with his luggage that he had in the carriage just out front.

The blond waved to you, that charismatic smile flickering a dim light there in your heart as you ran to his side. “Princess…!” he gasped in delight, dropping the bag in his possession to open his arms to embrace you as you fell against his chest in some form of forced excitement. “Oh, Y/N, it is so wonderful to hold you again.”

His words were honest and true, making you flinch from the pleasantries with all things considered. Fingertips gracing his jaw line you smiled even if it was labored by pain. “I am relieved to know you’re alright, Anduin. The daemon attacks haven’t been too horrible in Gralea, have they?”

“Nah,” he insisted with a warm look. “At least nothing the soldiers and I cannot handle.” His blue eyes went to Ignis who was standing formally at the entrance to the palace, having not moved an inch from his location. “Ignis, it’s great to see you once more,” Anduin beckoned, moving closer to the advisor seeing as Ignis remained firm where he was.

“It is an honor and a pleasure to see you again, your Highness,” responded Ignis professionally as he kept his arms bound behind him and bowed in kind to his superior.

Anduin outstretched his hand for Ignis to take as more of a companion greeting another than an advisor to the crown. “And you, my friend. I do hope you’ve been doing well and taking care of Lady Y/N just fine.”

Ignis accepted the gesture, grasping his hand in a firm and supportive way though you couldn’t help but cringe a bit at the innocent comment you knew had quite the meaning as of late. “Of course, Prince Anduin,” Ignis answered. “After the dreadful daemon attack I…rarely left her side.”

You frowned a bit. While Anduin was being oblivious and innocent in his greeting, Ignis was underhandedly being spiteful given the choice of his words. Moving closer to the two, you placed your hands on Anduin’s upper arm to pull him away from Ignis’ grasp. “Anduin, dear, why don’t we get you settled in the guest room for a bit before we sit down and talk, hu?”

“I can make you some coffee if you’d like?” Ignis offered, knowing you had caught onto his little slip and was in some way trying to apologize for it in the moment.

“Tea is fine by me, Ignis. I thank you,” Anduin responded as you ushered the Prince into the palace.

“Same for me,” you chimed in as you passed Ignis.

Ignis gave you a disapproving stare. “Water, milk, or a fruit beverage, Lady Y/N?” he asked in a more hushed voice.

Your lips thinned, giving Ignis a stare that was enough to make him realize you were getting frustrated with him and his picky attitude towards your eating and drinking habits. “Ugh, just make me a fruit smoothie or something then,” you answered, waiting for Anduin to be out of earshot as the servants escorted him to one of the many guest rooms he’d be staying at for however long he decided to remain. You would say a ‘year’ as he swore he’d be, but things could change. “What is wrong with you?” you grumbled angrily to Ignis, not approving his choice of words earlier.

Ignis fixed his arms behind his lower back once more to continue appearing the ever loyal advisor to you. “I, in apologies, retract the bitterness of my words, but I do not pretend to not acknowledge my commitment to you, Lady Y/N.”

“He is trying to be nice, Iggy,” you reminded him in a hushed tone. “Since when did Anduin ever treat you with disrespect?”

Your advisor sighed, shoulders faltering a bit in surrender in that honest question. “I apologize, Y/N. I will do my best to bite back the bitterness within me.” He bowed to you in respect. “Excuse me, my Lady, but I have drinks to prepare.” With that, Ignis took his leave hastily into the palace to make his way to the kitchen.

Sighing to yourself, you fretted inwardly on how this would truly harm your friendship with Ignis. He confessed himself—confessed feelings you couldn’t return not just because of law and tradition, but because you didn’t feel that way towards him…at least, you didn’t think you did.  _Maybe with Anduin here it will be different…_ _Maybe I will remember why I fell for him to begin with and why we’re a perfect match in my parent’s eyes…_  you thought to yourself, leaning against the doorframe with your fingers fondling with a necklace you had about you.

You found yourself beside your betrothed once more, talking to him and discussing the problems in Niflheim when it came to the uprising of daemons so suddenly. He tried to play it off as nothing important, but in his words you could sense a form of concern that he harbored that their capital might get overrun at some point.

“Then why did you come here, my Prince?” you asked in heavy concern, ignoring even the fact that Ignis had entered the room to place down the drinks he had made for you both. “You can hide it all you want, but I sense great concern for Niflheim and the growing problem within her.”

Anduin offered a smile to you after accepting the drink from Ignis with a nod and thanks to him. “Because you were in pain for long enough without my assistance. I have great love and respect for my people, but I also worry for you as well, Lady Y/N, and I was a fool not to come to your side the moment it happened.” He turned to Ignis who was still standing in the room with the tray in his hands. “That’s why I thank you, Ignis.”

“Mm?” Ignis turned at Anduin’s words to him, moving the tray behind his back to stand to attention and try to act more like a fixture in the conversation than a person. “It was nothing special, your Highness. I just…” Ignis’ eyes caught yours in the room, shaking his head shortly after as he fixed his glasses on the slope of his nose. “I felt responsible for not being there that night when she took off in such a hurry in the late evening. I should have been more aware.” He bowed again as if to ask for forgiveness. “I will never allow any harm to befall her again. You have my word.”

Closing your eyes tightly at Ignis’ speech added on top of Anduin’s, you felt the skin upon your knuckles tighten as you held your hands firmly in the embrace of one another. “We…We thank you for the drinks, Iggy. Can you do me a favor and leave the room? I need to talk to Anduin in private.”

The dread in your words led Ignis to believe this would be it—this would be the moment you would try to talk Anduin into sleeping with you, and it was there he nodded hesitantly as his leather gloves became audible upon gripping the tray in a sort of death hold. “Of course, my Lady. I will be in the kitchen should you require my assistance.”

With him gone, you looked to Anduin with your stomach feeling heavier than before as was your heart. Moving your chair closer to his, you reached for his hand to take it into yours, smiling with regret and forced love. “We have quite a lot of catching up to do, Anduin,” you whispered, moving forward to kiss his lips to try and intoxicate his mind to something a bit more pleasant than that of politics and daemon attacks.

In the end, it worked. While you and Anduin would playfully text sexual things over the phone when you could, it was a new experience to actually sleep with him. Oddly, for a man you were betrothed to you thought for sure this would feel right somehow, but it wasn’t…It felt like you were betraying someone, and you knew who that person was—the man you sent away and the man who was the true father of your child.

Doing everything you could to hide your inner disgust in the matter, you were able to let the deed be done in the secrecy of the palace walls and played it off with the great grace of any actor as your betrothed remained oblivious to how you truly felt inside. As Anduin decided to rest off the afterglow of your moment, you found yourself grabbing a robe to tie in place to conceal your dignity before slipping out of the room to hurry to the kitchen where you knew Ignis was.

Standing at the doorway you heard him whisking something in the bowl before him, obviously baking to keep his mind occupied and away from the truth of what was unfolding around him. Hating the harsh sound of the whisk hitting the bowl as it did, you fretfully gripped the doorway as if to ask it to give you strength. “Iggy?” you whispered only to watch as he tensed at your voice, pausing in his actions but continuing them regardless as if to ignore you. “Ignis…?”

A labored sigh passed his lips. “You should be with the Prince, my Lady, or at least resting after your endeavor…”

Hearing the soreness in his words was more than you could bear as you moved up behind him to hug Ignis tightly, wrapping your arms just at the bend of his while your cheek rested against his back. “Please, please…forgive me for all I’ve done to you…” You felt Ignis respond by lowering his arms to his sides, merely standing tall and firm as though he had enough with this same talk, and he wouldn’t hear it anymore. “Nothing I do seems to feel right anymore, and I don’t know what I’m even doing now…!”

Ignis’ hands finally found your own, but he didn’t turn to face you—it was as though he was too ashamed to. “I told you I would be certain of a happy ending on the horizon…Give me time, Y/N. I just need…time…”


	4. Chapter 4

You expected there to be more of an uproar when you stood your ground next to your betrothed to admit that you had become pregnant before your marriage to one another days later when you knew it would be impossible to hide it much longer. Confessing before your father, you were lectured—heavily.

What a disgrace this was. The public would find out that their Queen to be was reckless and acted without much thought in regards to anyone but herself. Even the King that was to take to the throne next was just as senseless in all of this and acted without thought. It made you cringe a bit, really. Why weren’t you allowed to make your mistakes? Why couldn’t you have a child before marriage? Everyone without royalty in their blood was allowed to do however they so pleased but you had to be the ever perfect, shining example of flawlessness in the eyes of Eos.

It continued to be maddening…

However, even royal fathers and mothers aren’t immune to the excitement of what is to bring in regards to grandchildren and the scolding didn’t last nearly as long as you expected it to. When your father, however, spoke of trying to rush the wedding given the news, you felt yourself panic at the mere thought.

Ignis remained nearby during the conversation with your parents, bowed in respect so there wasn’t much you could make note of when it came to how he was personally feeling about any of this. You did notice his hand at his side seemed to clench tightly now and again at certain moments in the conversation as if to restrain himself in the matter. His frown was always prevalent since walking into the room, but it didn’t seem to worsen from what you took note of.

He already had so much taken away from him and honestly…after that one stand with Anduin you found yourself unable to even imagine doing it again as your heart couldn’t fool you into thinking he was the one for you no matter how much you wished to try for the sake of your people and your family’s honor. It was an odd burst of courage, but it was a moment you stood your ground and offered an idea all the same.

You asked to postpone the wedding and keep it at bay regardless of an unplanned child on the way.

“With everything happening in Niflheim, I would rather Prince Anduin focus on one thing at a time,” you expressed quickly, hoping to buy more time for the truth to have the chance to surface. “While I know a baby will be a challenge as well…I…” The words paused in your throat, stealing a glance at Ignis who had managed to look up and in your direction with a neutral expression that was hard to glean in what it meant. “…I know I can handle it just fine with Ignis should a moment require us to do so.”

The room was silent at the suggestion but even Anduin didn’t seem to mind the thought as he didn’t chime in to disagree. From what you could easily gather in the last few days being with him, his mind was always back home and the worry of their city being overrun by daemons and you knew, deep down, he would possibly have to return earlier than planned and could very well miss a lot of his ‘child’s’ rearing.

“Ignis,” your father beckoned to the advisor, making Ignis bow to respects all the more.

“Your Majesty?”

“With the unforeseen events as of current, it falls on your hands to tend to the Princess more than ever and to be certain everything goes well in regards to the coming child if Prince Anduin is unable to be at her side.” He gestured in Ignis’ direction, continuing onward. “Should the Prince of Niflheim need to retreat to his land with the rising daemon threat before and or after the birth of this child, I require you to fill his role when it comes to the rearing of this baby till he is to return.”

Ignis wasn’t sure what to say about that at first. Seemed something stunned him or made him worried somehow. “Your Majesty, I—.”

Your father raised his hand to silence Ignis, making him retract any words he may continue with. “Obviously, the child will belong to Princess Y/N and Prince Anduin, so it best be made clear as you aid in raising this child that you are not seen as his father in the process.”

The words felt like a sword to your heart as it did Ignis as well. You saw him flinch in the shadows of his respectful bow and his fist (again) curled heatedly at his side. Eyes batting back what you could only assume to be tears, he nodded in understanding. “Certainly, Your Grace,” he spoke almost at a whisper, the pain evident in his speech only to you it seemed as you were the one who knew him best. “I will see to it that Lady Y/N is treated well and prepared for the coming years ahead with her child.”

When the meeting was dispersed, you found yourself leaving the throne room with Anduin as it felt more normal given the circumstances; though you wished you could have done so with Ignis. You knew none of that made him feel well emotionally and you really wanted to be at his side to support him even if he might be upset with you as of late.

“I am sorry if that was very damning to your image,” you spoke to Anduin on your way back to your room. “It was my fault, and I shouldn’t have done it…” Your voice trailed off in a way, hating that you felt this was indeed your entire fault no matter how you chose to look at it. The desire to runaway again never felt so damning.

“We all make mistakes, and I could have stopped it,” spoke Anduin in his own defense, not allowing you to take the full blame in the end. He smiled at you, that same charismatic smile he always had but for once in your life it didn’t make your heart flutter as it used to. It felt like any man sparing you a kind compliment on the street. “Let the world get in an uproar at how ‘improper’ it is all they want to. I think having a baby should be looked at as a blessing no matter how it happened.”

You smiled, wanting to believe that to be true but the papers were loud and you knew you could read the headlines now. “I need to lie down for a bit, Anduin,” you sighed, hand to your head as the entire day was an emotional rollercoaster ride. “I also just need a moment alone with my thoughts, really.”

He frowned in concern for you, hand to your cheek that felt again like an unwarranted touch by a stranger. You still tried to play it off as nothing upsetting with a forced smile and tender caress to the back of his hand. “If you need anything, Y/N, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you, Anduin,” you parted with at a whisper, moving his touch from you and finding some bit of salvation in your bedroom.

Hand to your aching heart at the words your father repeated about Ignis being not allowed to have his own child view him as its father you wished you had the strength to talk to Ignis about the meeting, but you found yourself feeling more drained than usual at the very thought. Hormones could be blamed but you were just feeling very tired as of late and a part of you wished you could close your eyes and never wake up again to avoid the consequences of your actions and the pain it was causing the one closest to you. Your back laid to rest against the door behind you, sliding down to the floor you brought your knees to your chest and sighed to yourself. There was so much you worried you had destroyed in the last several weeks…

You remained asleep for awhile and even if the subtle knocking at your door woke you, you did your best to ignore it in hopes whoever it was would go away. However, you knew that knock and it was one belonging to Ignis, and you knew he wasn’t one so easy to be turned away as that; especially with all things considered. He was no doubt upset with you but that baby was his, and he would do whatever it took to be certain it grew well inside of you even if it meant breaking some protocols.

The door moaned on its hinges and you cringed as your back was facing the bedroom entryway that Ignis had entered through. The sound of a rolling food cart being moved across the floor echoed quietly enough to your bedside till the silver instruments upon it found silence in a paused state. You heard him moving a few things about (opening lids and such that no doubt kept the food warm or cool when migrated from the kitchen), and you found reprieve in knowing it would be awhile yet till he bothered you.

“Y/N,” Ignis called, shaking you gently at the shoulder. “My Lady, wake up.”

Moaning softly in annoyance as you didn’t have the stomach for anything that you could outwardly smell on the tray already, you turned to acknowledge him with a weary look. “What is it…?” you asked, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“You need to eat a bit more than what you had this morning at breakfast,” Ignis instructed as he offered his hand for you to take in trying to situate you better in bed if that was where you wished to remain instead of going to the small dining table you had in your bedroom near the balcony.

Brow wrinkled, you noted the steamed vegetables, assorted berries in a dish, and specialty salmon soup dish that Ignis had prepared with milk. “I ate just fine, Ignis,” you insisted, not having the stomach to truly take in as much as all of that. If anything, your gut was in knots no thanks to everything that was happening as of late.

Ignis sighed at your insisting otherwise, moving a spoon closer for you to take or a fork depending your preference of what you wanted to eat first. “Princess, if I must sit beside you and stare at you for twenty-four hours till you eat something, so be it,” he spoke as if to make it a challenge. “Or need be, if things take too long, I can try and make you eat it like a stubborn child that needs to be spoon fed, but I am not going to leave this room till you at least finish something on this cart.”

Your head lowered at the thought, a harsh breath passing through your nostrils as you were more concerned about how Ignis was doing during all of this—hating that he kept bottling it all up and never truly speaking of it. “Ignis, really…how do you…feel about all of this?”

Ignis’ lips parted, hands moving to fix his glasses upon his features as if to stall an answer. “What I feel is if you want to starve yourself, I am not going to let you as that is my child inside of you as well, and I care too much—.”

“—I meant about the council meeting this morning,” you interrupted quickly with a shake of your head at his desire to seemingly dodge the comment. He paused in the wish to answer, body tensing a bit as even the subtlest of breaths could be seen from the expanding of his chest. “I…I know you’re upset with me, and I hate it’s been like this for awhile now when I am trying everything in my power to think of a way to make things right, but nothing seems to come.”

He looked down at his hands and began to fix his gloves a bit. “I am staying my hand in the matter, Y/N, as I know you wish to do this without speaking the truth,” spoke Ignis after a pregnant pause that made the air stiff and nearly lifeless. “However, I will say that genuineness—while difficult to produce and stand in the light of—is usually the best course of action no matter the outcome.”

Your brow wrinkled in concern at that thought. “You truly think so even if it means you being banished from here…?”

Again, the advisor seemed to flinch as he folded his hands in his lap from where he sat at your bedside. “I too am pondering in the late hours, Lady Y/N,” he spoke in a whisper as if hating the thought that the truth would be more a prison sentence than give birth to freedom. “If anything should give rise to a solution I can be satisfied with, I will notify you.” He removed his glasses, cleaning off something that was on them that annoyed him with his shirt before letting them rest back at place. “As for being displeased with you, that has long since passed.” He turned to you, forcing a painful smile that was obvious given all the years you’d known him. “I let my feelings toy with the logical battle my heart and mind have in unison with you as of current. I’ve…been unhealthy in my devotion to you, and it was unprofessional of me to be so…”

“What do you mean unhealthy?” you asked watching as he nodded towards the food on the tray.

“Eat first, and I will explain, my Lady.”

You knew he wasn’t keen on the idea of cold food and so with what strength you could bother to muster, you went for the berries first to pluck away at those to eat slowly to open your stomach for other ideas.

Ignis waited, letting you at least try a few things on the plate before continuing his confession. “When you were ill and suffering horribly from the daemon attacks those few weeks or so when you ran from here in your attempt to be free from your obligations to the crown, I grew far too close to you in the grand scheme of things, Y/N.” He moved his lower lip inward, looking away in shame as he pressed his fingers together in thought. “The world disappeared to me as did all logic in terms of what was professional and what was folly…It made me think about what a family life would be like with you, how it felt like I was caring for my wife more than I was my Lady of the Crown.”

You were confused. How did such a moment in your life change him so suddenly? “H-How did…?”

“I did far more intimate things with you, Y/N, before our bodies touched in a sensual manner,” Ignis went onward to explain. “I was changing your bandages, feeding you as you were too weak to do so on your own, reading to you, bathing you and clothing you; especially when Rosemary was nowhere about after her family matters became a burden. I let all of that blur my vision and when it was over and you wanted to bed with me, I tried to ignore that this could be real…” His green eyes found the courage to find you though you could tell it was hard for him to look your way. “That’s why I acted a bit rigid that first time, if you noticed that is. I was trying to numb myself to the truth and keep this professional and as platonic as you wished it to be, but when I woke up with you beside me, basking in the afterglow of our union I awoke that dream into some detrimental reality…”

“Ignis…” you spoke quietly, but he was determined to not let you finish before him.

“And when you sent that text, I…I just…” He cringed, fingers curling inward at the painful reality that seemed to be crashing down around him. “I thought you truly loved me, and I was thinking—this is it…this is my fantasy turned tangible, and I can embrace it to my breast.” He gasped at the memory (perhaps feeling it to be stupid now). “She really loves me after all this time and doesn’t see me as just her advisor—some servant boy bred into a house of royal retainers who was shipped off to her side to bend at her every call.”

You shook your head in disgust at how he was feeling in regards to being beside you. “Ignis, you were never ‘just my advisor’ or some servant either in my heart. Maybe I acted coldly in those few years after the festival when I was younger but before then, you were my  _friend_ , and as I’m doing my best to mend my mistakes with our friendship, I still see you as the most loyal and loving person I have in my life.” Your own heart began to ache as recently it felt like you had betrayed him…Like you had cheated on the love of your life as every moment with your betrothed you found yourself wishing you were with Ignis instead.

But should you even say it? Ignis was acting as though he was wishing he could sober up from the family life he had hoped to make with you, and you didn’t want to hurt that.

“Just know that…things can change, and you’ll always have a special place in my heart,” you murmured between the two of you.

Ignis offered a genuine smile at the reminder. “A pleasant thought that, my Lady. I will keep it in mind.”

Trying to bring a bit of lightheartedness back to the heavy atmosphere, you gave a mocking grin while finishing a bit of the vegetables next after feeling you had enough of the berries. “So you were being perverted when bathing me then?”

The advisor jerked his head back at the playful accusation before giving you a hard, stern stare that showed in some way he too was also mocking you for your remark as it did eventually fall into a more relaxed yet sarcastic look. “I was professional when it dealt with such personally matters, my Lady. Even a husband can look at a wife in peril and still treat her with dignity in such situations.”

“Good to know you have some self control,” you teased finishing up the meal best you were able to ease Ignis’ concerns when it came to your health and the baby’s.

——

The early weeks were long and exhausting. Sometimes you wanted to eat everything while others you were intent to ignore food and just want to lie in bed with the heaviness of minor depression settling in on you. Ignis, of course, wouldn’t sit idly by as you tried to waste away and let it be over and always moved you to your feet whether you wanted to or not.

Honestly, the newspapers did little in aiding with a better mood. Once news got around of your unplanned pregnancy with your betrothed, gossip spread through the print like wildfire and after awhile of it upsetting you, Ignis saw to it that you never got your hands on any of it again. He even removed the radio from your room so you wouldn’t hear the hurtful and upsetting words spared by people you were sworn to protect and lead.

“Come on, Princess,” Ignis sighed in concern as you tried to fight him yet again in getting up. It was nearly eleven in the morning, quite late for you as you were usually asked to be up by at least eight. “You have to eat breakfast. You cannot keep trying to skip meals when you’re expecting!” He was waiting by the bed, tapping his foot in impatience with his arms crossed (from what you could mentally gather as he always stood that way when he was cross at you).

“I don’t want to deal with the world today, Iggy,” you groaned, burying your head under your pillow to block him out. “I’m tired of hearing how pissed everyone is at me…Even the maids gossip about me like I’m not there!”

“Why you let those women push you around when you’re of higher rank than them is beyond me,” Ignis sighed with a shake of his head. Since he was above them in terms of status, it was usually him that voiced his disapproval of their methods or words. The first you ever see him lose it with them was when he was eighteen and they got furious at you for causing a slight tear in a royal ballroom gown that was expensive to have be made and tended to in terms of cleaning. It made you cry to the point he stood in and protected you from their harsh lectures.

“They were the ones that raised me for a time, so I guess I just see them as parental figures I shouldn’t raise my voice at,” you whimpered not sure why yourself as it was obvious that you overpowered them in terms of status, but you lacked the gull to stand up to them and their harsh ways of raising you.

The pillow was removed from your head, tossed to the side as Ignis grabbed onto your shoulder to guide you onto your back before ushering you to sit upright. “You are going to join me for breakfast, Y/N, even if I have to drag you there one way or another,” he insisted, pulling the covers off next before urging your feet to the floor. “We have to meet with your midwife that was hired for you so that we know what to expect in the coming months.”

Her name was Annalyn and beyond the fact she was praised in regards to serving royalty with aiding them in birthing their children, that’s all you really knew.

As Ignis continued to try and get you to stand on your feet, you growled in annoyance as every little thing was nearly easy to set you off lately. “I can do it myself!” you shouted, pulling your hands from him and wiggling free of his grasp.

“Calm yourself, Lady Y/N,” Ignis instructed, noticing the flushed look to your expression. “You cannot let your emotions get the better of you during such times or you could put yourself and the baby at risk.”

“Twenty weeks along, and I feel miserable as fuck,” you grumbled, moving your hands to your face to wipe away the exhaustion. “I hate you for doing this to me.”

Ignis could tell it was a playful spat of annoyance in some regard but he still shrugged with his arms falling to his sides. “Yes, yes, I am such a horrible individual to do something so careless. You can scream at me later for it, my Lady.” He whispered the words, moving you onward to the door so the two of you could sit down at the dining hall to talk with Annalyn who had been waiting for you to be decent enough to grace the room.

You felt some small rejuvenation with milk in your possession and food to fill your stomach that you hadn’t even thought about it being empty as it was. The midwife let you eat, at least, and the two of you seem to exchange sizing glances. She was a redhead, blue-eyes and wore glasses with a rather modern look to her attire that appeared quite casual (weirdly). You were expecting something a bit more formal or maybe something that reminded you of a hospital. Her long hair was pinned back with a decorative hair comb, teal in color with bits of a golden boarder to it. At first glance, she looked to be in her mid to late forties, but you couldn’t say. Looks could be deceiving.

“Most of what I already know in regards to your pregnancy, Lady Y/N, is all hearsay,” she began, hands clasped upon the dining table. “Care to tell me how far along you are, or do you know yourself?”

Swallowing the eggs in your mouth harshly, you glanced up at Ignis and then back to Annalyn. “I’m…uh…ten weeks,” you lied horribly as you didn’t want people to know the truth about how long you had been pregnant as some of it wouldn’t add up.

The midwife seemed to look to Ignis at that point instead of you. “Has she been eating alright, Mr…?” She stalled, looking for a name as she wasn’t properly introduced to him earlier.

“Ignis Scientia, ma’am,” he answered with a respectful bow, arm crossed over his chest to appear more regal in the matter. “You can just call me Ignis if you prefer.” Ignis straightened back to attention, arms to his sides. “As for her dietary habits, I’ve been monitoring them best I am able to be certain she and the baby are healthy.”

“I will leave with you a list of things that is best to cook then as well as a schedule that may suffice in spreading meals apart.” Annalyn seemed to make a note of it somewhere on the pad of paper in front of her but you didn’t care to try and even read what she was truly writing upside down as you sat opposite her. “You are her advisor, are you not?”

Again, Ignis nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I am the one who tends to her daily routine and her meals.”

Her brow shrugged as if not expecting that response but making a note of it anyway. “I will see to it to consult with you about a few things in private then, Mr. Scientia, before I take my leave of the day.” Her blue eyes looked about in interest. “And the father? Where is Prince Anduin?”

You flinched, lowering the spoon of oatmeal from your mouth ever slightly as you weren’t sure how to respond to that with the heaviness in your heart. You wanted to say the real father was right beside you, but you stilled your tongue. You didn’t know this woman that well and for all you knew, she could just be another gossiper. “Prince Anduin is sadly…indisposed as of current.”

“Oh?”

You didn’t mean to make it sound so heavy but the Prince had returned back to his people in order to protect them against the growing daemon threat. It hurt you to even have to watch him leave as he seemed so willing to depart to protect people from this growing threat and leave you—a woman pregnant with his child—to be alone in a palace waiting for his return. A part of you was wondering if you even wanted this life for your baby. Would this be it? Would it be you would soon be too busy to even raise your own son or daughter and even Ignis would become too burdened by royal duties with you to even do the same?

You didn’t want your child in the hands of those maids. They were dreadful women…

“He merely returned to Gralea, ma’am,” answered Ignis in your stead. “He left a few days ago to aid his people in the fight for their capital as the daemon hordes have become restless and ever more aggressive than before.”

“I am so sorry to hear that, Lady Y/N,” Annalyn responded, shifting the glasses up the slope of her nose. “I wish him well, and I pray he returns with the gods’ speed and good graces at his back.”

“I thank you,” you said softly, tapping your fork on the napkin nearby in thought.

“I am uncertain what all your parents have told you, Lady Y/N, but to my understanding they were keen on an at home birth, obviously,” the midwife went on to explain, shifting through her papers to find the right documents needed. “They also wanted a more natural birthing process.”

“Natural…?” you asked, not liking where that was going.

“There will be no medicines involved and you will be alert during the process, to move and get comfortable as you see fit during labor and delivery,” Annalyn went on to explain as you were new to this. “The father can aid you if he is around, but that is the only one allowed to do so unless you find someone a bit more comfortable to step in for him. His Majesty didn’t give me a list of suitables here, so I leave that up to you.”

“Wha-What about Ignis?” you asked quickly, trying not to panic over the idea of no epidural at least given the horrors you’d read and heard about pregnancies.

“Your advisor?” the midwife asked in confusion, moving her glasses up the slope of her nose yet again. You watched as the two exchanged glances, Ignis trying to remain professional in being looked at as not apart of the equation when that was his child. She seemed to stare at him long and hard for some reason and it was after an uncomfortable moment of silence she shrugged her shoulders and turned back to the papers before her. “Very well. If that is your wish.”

“No medicines?” you hissed in an annoyed whisper to Ignis, turning to him best you were able. “Not even a fucking epidural—are they serious!”

“Calm down, my Lady,” Ignis spoke quietly back, hand upon the middle of your back.

“Now then,” Annalyn interrupted, folding her hands upon the paperwork she laid to rest on the tabletop. “I will be set up in your bedroom, Lady Y/N, and wait for you there to begin an examination to be certain everything is in order. When you’re finished with your meal, we will meet there.” She grabbed her bag beside her, taking to her paperwork and heading out of the dining hall to do so.

“You need to relax, Y/N,” Ignis whispered closer to your ear as he leaned in towards you so the words wouldn’t carry. “It will be alright. I will be right there beside you.”

“Yeah, but it’s going to fucking hurt…” you reminded him, cringing at the very thought already even if it was months away. “I want something to ease my pain.”

“I will consult Ms. Annalyn about it,” insisted Ignis as he gestured to the plate you hadn’t finished. “Now, hurry up and eat. We don’t want to continue to keep the woman waiting.”

While Ignis would be allowed to be there during the labor process when that was to come, he was asked to stay outside your bedroom when it dealt with the exams the midwife was to perform. It was unnerving, really and it became even more so as the silence that filled the room made it feel very suffocating.

“And you said you were ten weeks, Lady Y/N…?” Annalyn questioned, finishing the exam.

The uncertainty in her voice made your heart race, it was so loud you could feel and hear it beating in your ears. “Yes, I am,” you lied still, not wanting to cause a bigger problem with how vicious the newspapers had been lately.

She removed the gloves on her hands, putting them off to the side with a confused expression still. “Seems more to me that you’re double that—at least twenty. Did anybody tell you this, or were you just guessing?”

You gathered your breath, wishing Ignis was here to help deflect the comment as you were lacking a good answer. “You’re not going to tell my parents any of this, are you…?”

Annalyn gave you a quizzical look, making sure all of her medical instruments were in order on the cart near the bed. “Everything here between us is confidential, my Lady; unless it is something that needs to be said to the father or his Majesty in regards to your health or the baby’s. If I spread any news of this to the public or even the servants, I could be prosecuted not just by your family but by my own superiors.”

You closed your eyes tightly, hoping you weren’t about to make another error in judgment. “It…the baby’s not Anduin’s…It’s Ignis’…”

The midwife looked at you in shock but it eventually fell to a weird smirk you couldn’t decipher. “I had a feeling something was a bit off with him as he looked like he was going to strangle me no thanks in kind to my choice of words during that conversation at the table,” she chuckled, shifting her glasses upon her features. “I can see why you’ve wanted to keep this all secret, Lady Y/N. I can only imagine the uproar it would cause.”

“Yeah, and my life is already a huge mess,” you sighed, reclining back on the bed as it felt like a weight was lifted just telling one other person.

“In the end, I guess I chose my wording properly.” Annalyn took to her feet, preparing her gear for sterilization in protective containers. “I did say the father could be present to aid you during delivery, so I suppose it will be easy to see to it that Mr. Scientia is indeed there if things go accordingly.” She took to her feet, letting you find rest on your side after guiding you into the position knowing it would be better suited for you and the baby. “I will speak with him about your diet, daily exercise and the like before taking my leave for the day, my Lady. I suggest you rest for now.”

“Thank you,” you praised, finding the covers comforting after an annoyingly early rise into medical care. Honestly, you only found comfort for a few minutes until you heard the door open and close. You didn’t bother looking as you knew it had to be Ignis.

The sound of papers moving to your nearby nightstand filled the air till silence overcame the air once more. Ignis’ gentle touch tapped you upon your shoulder to gain your attention for a mere moment, and so you rolled over with a weary hum at what he wanted. “I am to inform you that you need to gain more weight, Y/N.” He moved the sleeve of his jacket up just a bit to look at his watch and the time. “In three hours I’ll return with something that should aid with that.”

You groaned, rolling your head back over to get comfortable again. “Why? I am already as big as a damn blimp…”

Ignis shook his head at your reaction, merely rubbing your side to try and relax you. “You need to try and gain at least two added pounds every week for the next half of your pregnancy,” Ignis instructed. “Annalyn expressed her concerns in you being underweight for how far along you were.”

You merely blew an audible, annoyed sigh upward as you hardly felt like eating anymore than you had that day. “Ignis, I am really not hungry,” you insisted with a moan, hands to your face to rub the exhaustion away a bit. “Can’t I just wait for dinner or something?”

He shook his head. “You allow your upset in the media to change your views on how you feel about eating, Lady Y/N, and you cannot let that endanger you or our baby,” sighed your advisor as his palm found rest upon your stomach. “Ignore them, my Princess. They will say any foul thing just for the sake of money as the lot of them are dreadful. People have children out of wedlock every day, but because they do not sit upon the throne or are destined for it, their flaws are hardly put into print in comparison to yours.”

“Because I have to lead them somehow, that’s why. What kind of a good ruler do I make when I’ve made this huge fuck-up?” you asked wishing you could denounce your title and leave your station. If you had a younger or older sibling that would possibly be far easier to do.

“It makes you human and relatable to most,” Ignis whispered to you, trying to get you comfortable once more under the covers. “The media does not speak for everyone in how they feel about this situation. Now, get some rest, and I will return shortly.”

“Did you speak to her about the epidural at least?” you asked, not liking the thought of having to go through that process without medicine to numb the pain a bit.

“Unfortunately, Lady Y/N, it seems to be a royal tradition of sorts with the rulers of Eos that carries through in most generations,” he answered. “They don’t like the idea of the mother ingesting medicines that could otherwise harm the natural process or the baby, so most of them go through with a natural birthing process. As I am, I cannot intervene with royal tradition. I will be there beside you as will Annalyn, and we will do our best to distract your mind from the discomfort.”

“But what if something goes wrong? What if I tear or something?” A slight panic began to rise up at the thought as you read how painful that could be and it was an aftermath sentence too that would be hard to ignore.

“Shhh, shhh,” Ignis whispered to try and settle your rising concerns, his hand escorting your head back down to the pillow again as you were trying to look over your shoulder at him from where you were attempting to rest. “We have at least twenty more weeks to think about that, but for now, try not to dwell on it too much, my Lady. It’s not good for your health.”

Sighing through your nostrils, you did your best to try and relax but the very idea about what was to come felt so close and was now a horror in your mind you.

——

Walks (and jogs) about the inner garden seemed to be the only daily exercise you could afford to give yourself. If the citizens weren’t so against your unplanned pregnancy you would have taken to the streets with Ignis instead to try and get exercise there but you’d rather keep from the public eye till at least the end of your pregnancy and Ignis even saw to that as well as he wanted to keep you healthy for the sake of a better delivery. After awhile, walking was becoming a bit of a burden, so he merely aided you about the halls of the palace to make sure you didn’t continue to lie in bed all day.

Eating was still a challenge for you (and a battle for Ignis) most days, but you couldn’t help it with the fear raking through you and the constant whispers of the servants and the media that still at times found their way to your ears. If Ignis ever caught the maids taking time to speak of such uncouth things, he wouldn’t hesitate to respond and urge them to make themselves useful and do something else beyond indulge in petty gossip.

As you found refuge in Ignis’ bedroom at times, you relaxed on his bed trying to read most days while he would either work on cleaning his living area or read beside you. He kept whatever personal experiment he was working on to himself and away from your eyes whenever nearby. Given how weird he was acting, you assumed it was something for his baby but that was all you really had in mind as you were too focused on other things.

“Did you decide yet on what you wanted to do for the natural birth, Lady Y/N?” Ignis asked as he found a book that grabbed his interest lining his shelf, heading to the bed with it as he thumbed through the first few pages to be certain he hadn’t already read it.

You sighed, lowering your own novel to your lap as you knew it would be any day now that you could give birth. Annalyn had offered what she read most royals in the Altissia family line usually did in terms of a natural birth—a water birth given the ties to Leviathan and praising the goddess.

Ignis seemed interested in it but that could have been the history in it more than the actual act. You weren’t sure. Seemed in ancient times, the royals would do such a thing near the shoreline itself so as to let the afterbirth of a newborn sate the hungry and often angry goddess in terms of her desire to feed on humans if they lacked expressing their love and respect to her. Giving birth in her waters was considered a show of such respect and while angering and showing contempt to a goddess was the last thing you wanted on your plate, you weren’t sure how you felt about it.

“She said you wouldn’t be at the waters,” Ignis reminded you as your silence was becoming deafening in the room. “She would have the servants bring water from her place of slumber here to fill the tub, and you would be in peace.”

Hands to your face, you shook your head. “I don’t know, Iggy,” you groaned. “What do you think?”

“It’s not my body, so I feel it isn’t my choice to make, Princess,” he reminded you as he sat down on the bedside. “But from what Annalyn was saying, the water could sooth you and ease most of the pain.” He shrugged his brow, glancing away briefly. “Also, you would be benefitting from Leviathan’s grace, and it is possible our child will be blessed by her in coming years.”

Your hands moved to your stomach, letting the child move about as it so pleased no matter how alien it felt to you. “And you’ll still be with me…?” you asked nervously, feeling you could at least handle it just fine if he were there.

“Annalyn expressed I would have a far more supportive role beside you if you did a water birth. It would be more intimate in a sense, but that is up to you, Lady Y/N.”

Twisting your mouth to the side in thought, you reclined back against the headboard. “Alright,” you whispered as a response, scrunching up your features as if to hope you wouldn’t regret it. “I will do a water birth then.”

“I will inform her then, but you need to tell us when you start feeling in pain, Y/N.” His hand found yours, holding it tightly as if to plead you not to be foolish. “I know you’ll be a stubborn one and shoulder it best you can, but the moment you think you’re having contractions, inform us, and Annalyn will get the servants to bring water from her shrine up here.”

Playfully, you tapped Ignis’ cheek with your palm as if to threaten to knock sense into him. “I am a huge baby when it comes to pain. You know that. I won’t hesitate to say something.” Feeling the baby move abruptly again, you flinched from the unexpected shift. “God, it’s been restless all damn day.”

Ignis chuckled. “Probably wants to get out just as badly as you want it out.”

“I’ll be so happy when this is over,” you confessed with a relieved sigh of what was to come even if dreading it as well. “Want to feel it?”

Ignis hadn’t bothered to do so as he didn’t think it was right to ask, perhaps, given his station in your life. “Well, I uh…”

Seeing him stutter at the thought you shook your head at his embarrassment. Taking his nearest hand, you removed the glove he wore before letting his hand lay to rest on your swollen stomach where you could feel the infant moving. The light kick against you made you flinch for a moment not expecting it to have that much force behind it but the relaxed feel of Ignis’ fingers sprawled upon you made the tension disappear. “There, did you feel it?” you asked but honestly you hardly needed to do that. After the kick Ignis had relaxed his hand on you as he felt more comfortable in trying to commune with the child that was very much inside of you and a smile formed ever slightly at the warming connection.

“Yes,” he said quietly between you, leaning forward to kiss upon the spot where the child was being restless. “Soon we will meet, little one.”

Sleeping was a challenge with how far long you were and after a few more hours in the day you began to feel slight pain in your lower back and like you were having cramps for the first time in forever. Annalyn was notified by Ignis, allowing her the time she needed to get the servants to fetch the water as needed from about Altissia and from Leviathan’s worshipping areas.

“Just remain calm, Y/N,” Ignis insisted, keeping a hold of your hand as the pain only began to worsen in the coming hour to where you were begging for anything to make it cease.

“By the gods, this fucking hurts…!” you whimpered, putting his hand into a bit of a death grip that he didn’t seem to mind. He merely responded with a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

Since Annalyn was in another part of the palace, Ignis knew he could only call her by phone at the current time to see what else he could do. He was frantic, you could tell, but still trying his best to remain the calmer of you both. “Annalyn, the pain seems to be getting worse for her.” He paused, shouldering his phone and using his cheek to keep it steady as he switched hands as you were apparently hurting the one. “Is there anything I can do to lessen it for her?”

You could hear her respond but you didn’t catch the words right away as you were far too focused on the agony ripping through you—something you hadn’t experienced in nearly a year when comparing it to the daemon attacks.

“Alright,” he said quickly, hanging up the phone and putting it on the nightstand before moving to you to try and get you to stand. “Come on, love—let’s try and see about another position till the tub is ready.”

You didn’t want to move at all. The pain was constant in some areas even if separated a bit given the early stages, and all you wanted to do was remain in bed till it was over. “Ignis, please…!” you begged not wanting to get to your feet but he was intent on the idea.

Letting you lean on him, he walked you over to a nearby wall and ushered your palms slightly above your head. “Try this one for a spell, my Lady,” he insisted, holding your stomach in support while his other hand urged your head down just a bit. “Just breathe deep and slow. It might help.”

“Nothing helps!” you insisted with a quivering hiss from the horrific throbbing trying to find some relief in his touch and presence alone.

His words were warm and eager near your cheek as he continued to keep a gentle hold on the underside of your stomach from where he stood behind you. “Because you are panicking, my Lady,” he lightly chastised not wanting to hear you fight him on this if it meant your wellbeing and comfort. “Now, calm down and try to relax.”

Trying to breathe in slowly, you rested your forehead against the wall to see if maybe that might even aid in anything. Honestly, the cool marble was a bit relaxing so you would take it. “You’re panicking too, you know,” you reminded him in a low tone as you focused on your breathing.

“If I panic that’s another story than the mother trying to birth another life in this world.” You heard him sigh behind you as if to relax himself with his own breathing exercises. He let the room fall to silence, his hands eventually trying to massage out the pain from your spine as his thumbs lightly rotated at the top and a bit near the bottom where it was starting to bother you. “How are you feeling now, love?”

You ignored the unprofessional slip in his name to you, oddly finding comfort in it. Breathing heavily and deeply still, you nodded a bit. “Still hurts like hell, and it feels like it’s getting worse—those contractions feel like they’re getting closer together.”

“Annalyn should be done any moment,” Ignis reminded you as he kissed an exposed area near the back of your shoulder. “Just keep calm. If you want to try another position, let me know.”

It took a lot longer than you were anticipating as Annalyn had to distil the water to make sure it was clean for the situation at hand. It got to the point your pain was so overwhelming you had to beg Ignis to let you at least lie down again, to which he relented and escorted you back to the bed though remained at your side. Kneeling at your bedside, he kept your hand within his while the other fondled with your tresses to try and sooth you and occupy your mind elsewhere.

“It’s going to be okay, Princess,” he whispered reassuringly, kissing you upon your balmy forehead.

“By the Astrals, I want painkillers or something…!” you whined, clenching onto his hold tightly as another spasm of discomfort shot through you.

The door soon opened and Ignis stood to attention as quickly as possible noting that it was Annalyn. “We’re ready,” she spoke in a hurried tone motioning towards Ignis. “Get her in the wheelchair, and we’ll get her down to the bathroom.”

Ignis hurried over to the old wheelchair that was used when you were injured and brought it quickly to the bedside to usher you into it with the aid of the midwife. It was an agonizing few minutes that felt much longer to you as you were ushered into the washroom and soon stripped of your clothing as you didn’t mind the prospects of being nude since Ignis had already seen you as such before and the midwife was a woman.

“Let’s move her in,” Annalyn instructed, moving one arm over her shoulders as Ignis did the other side to get you to at least stand before getting your body only part of the way submerged given the process involved.

The water was at least a lukewarm, taking away the thought of pain for a mere moment for you as you tried to withstand another painful contraction that forced you to scream as you gripped the sides of the tub. “Make it stop…! Please, make it stop…!” you begged wishing to be in the daemon attack torture stage than this given the comparison.

Ignis helped you into a sitting upright position as Annalyn was guiding him on what to do as far as support was concerned. “Stay calm, Y/N, and breathe,” he instructed patiently, perhaps reminded himself of the same process as you could tell his voice was heavy with anxiety as well.

“I am!” you practically screamed in retaliation though it couldn’t have been far from the truth. You wanted it over. You wanted the baby out of you as fear was beginning to set in with how long this was all taking in your mind.

“If you think it is best, you can strip down to something more comfortable and join her from behind, Mr. Scientia,” Annalyn advised as she urged you to push long and hard after one contraction obviously had you in its grip.

His hold tightened on yours, letting you release the agonizing tension through the means of holding onto him if it made you feel better. “If it comes to that, Annalyn, I will do so, but I would rather see how this pans out first.”

There were moments the pain got so excruciating you had to stop and try to breathe for a moment before regaining your strength in the idea of continuing. While the water did help a bit in alleviating the discomfort of active labor, it was still quite difficult to ignore all together. It was what felt like an eternity of distressing ache till finally the aftermath yielded the soft cries of a child when moved to the water’s surface.

“How is it? Is the baby alright!” Ignis exclaimed in concern while you felt the cool touch of his palm grace your cheek to try and sooth you from the outcome.

Annalyn tended to the infant before ushering it towards your arms when you showed you were fully awake and functioning just fine. “He’s doing just fine. Do you think you can hold him, my Lady?” she asked, not releasing the little boy just yet till she saw you could handle it on your own.

“A boy…?” you asked wearily with a smile as you opened your arms to welcome him into your arms while Ignis supported you just underneath your embrace to allow the two of you a better look. To say he looked special would merely be you basking in the afterglow of your success as honestly he was the same as any other baby you laid witness to, but the difference was he was yours. He was too young to make sense of how he’d look when he was older, but for now, you did notice he had blond hair—something that would throw off still who the father was.

Regardless of him having to be shoved to the shadows through the boy’s life, Ignis still smiled brightly with a quivering breath of delight as you held your son close to your breast. “Hey there, sweetheart,” he spoke quietly to his infant son who was quick to latch onto Ignis’ index finger when he felt it touching his cheek. The hand was so small it hardly even reached around the width of Ignis’ finger and the advisor was fine to relax his touch at the baby’s response.

“Did you think of any names for the genders you may get?” Annalyn asked, working on wiping down the child when she found the time to do so.

Ignis turned to look from you to the midwife as it wasn’t something either of you discussed. “Uh…n-no, we didn’t—.”

“Ignitus,” you interrupted causing Ignis to snap his attention to you. “I wanted to name it after his father if it were a boy as he’s done so much for me.”


	5. Chapter 5

A steady breath escaped you moments later as you found yourself waking up after resting for a time after giving birth to your son, Ignitus. The hazy sights of your room came into focus as did Annalyn who was remaining at your side to be certain everything was alright in the aftermath of it all. Putting down her instruments, she smiled in greeting upon noticing your eyes were opening.

“Good to see you’re awake, my Lady,” said the midwife, her hands soon folded to her lap to let you breathe. “How do you feel?”

Your hand to your head, you focused on your weary body only to find that it was fine to remind you of how tender you still were if you dared to try and use the muscles in your thighs at least. “It hurts a bit when I move some, and I’m just weirdly shaky,” you answered, still searching the room for Ignis and your son only to find no trace of either. “Where are Ignitus and Ignis…?”

Annalyn nodded in understanding. “Mm, you did tear a bit down there, but I was able to do my best with the medicines I have with me. You were asleep, so a painless procedure.” She grinned briefly. “You didn’t even notice you tore during the delivery, and that is a rarity, really. I guess you’re a lot stronger than you think, Lady Y/N.” The midwife moved over the bed slightly, massaging your stomach for one reason or another—you could only guess it was some medical procedure thing given the situation. “As for Mr. Scientia, he’s got the young prince as we speak and was showing the royal family and the staff workers of the palace, no doubt as any happy father usually does. He should be back soon.”

A part of you couldn’t help but raise panic at the very idea but you steadied yourself knowing Ignis was smarter than that to let anything slip. With the midwife tending to your stomach, you couldn’t help but flinch given the pain that was rupturing through you still.

“Forgive the stomach massaging,” Annalyn expressed as she could hear your discomfort in the matter. “I have to help it contract back to normal, and I know without an epidural this is going to be a bit of a nightmare for you for the next two or so hours, so I apologize.”

“What a joy,” you sarcastically groaned, hissing the pain out through your teeth. “By Leviathan, can’t I rest for awhile…!”

“In time you’ll be able to, Lady Y/N,” Annalyn answered, letting you relax for a second. “However, to ensure such rest isn’t painful, it is best I do this for your health. I have to do this every fifteen minutes for the next two hours, so get comfortable.”

Your head rolling to the side to try and find some form of comfort in the process as the door to your bedroom opened and in walked Ignis with your son. The child was quiet but given the relaxed look on Ignis’ face you knew the baby was probably resting in his arms. In the quiet comfort of the room where the faces present already knew the truth, Ignis cradled Ignitus’ head and kissed the newborn’s forehead. The kiss lingered as though he had been holding back the desire to do so for a lifetime.

“He is perfect,” Ignis whispered as he took the empty chair next to your bed. “Absolutely beautiful.”

“It’s been awhile, my Lady,” reminded the midwife as he motioned towards Ignitus. “You may want to try and see if he’ll feed properly this time.”

Ignitus was a bit more resistant to the idea of breastfeeding earlier when Annalyn tried to encourage it, and after a bit of a struggle he drank a little bit but not enough to satisfy the midwife. Opening your arms to accept your son from Ignis, you tried to encourage him once more to latch onto you to drink. Again, the baby seemed resistant to the very thought of doing so and it began to worry you till you finally felt the gentle pinch from his mouth.

You breathed in relief, trying to be careful not to do anything that might startle Ignitus from drinking as Annalyn insisted anything could have caused the boy not to drink longer earlier. Even from what you noticed, Ignis resisted the urge to try and reach over to touch the boy on the head or even interest Ignitus to hold onto his finger again.

“He is indeed perfect,” you whispered between you and Ignis, catching your advisor’s attention from where he sat. “I just know he’s going to be a fine young man.”

——

It was a bit painful to have to be reminded in the coming week that Ignis had to remain in the room next door while you and Ignitus stayed in yours. It was hard to judge how Ignis felt on his own, to be honest, as he seemed to privately be jotting down ideas in regards to your health and the baby’s whenever he had the time to do so. He was weirdly so distracted that your perception of him was off.

He did insist on having the baby monitor in his room even if the child would be in a crib near the foot of your bed. “You know I’ll most likely hear him whenever he wakes up, right?” you commented rather jokingly in a hushed tone as Ignitus was sleeping for the night.

“Indeed, but you as well deserve your rest, Lady Y/N,” Ignis reminded you, his hands gripping the side of the crib to keep a close watch on your son. “I am a light sleeper, so I will turn my head at the slightest of disturbances unlike yourself.”

You gave him a funny look, raising a single brow at his wording. “I wouldn’t be so dead to the world I wouldn’t hear my own son, Ignis.”

He shifted his glasses upon the slope of his nose, doing his best to hide the smirk that spread upon his lips briefly. “Perhaps not, but allow me the honor to at least hold my son while I can.” He didn’t allow the fear of having Ignitus torn from his side startle him by much in the tender moment. “Speaking of which, does his Highness Anduin plan on visiting anytime soon?”

There you could sense it—the heaviness of his words returning at the mere thought and you yourself felt like your heart was made of iron, weighing down heavily in your chest as your fingers gripped the railing of the crib ever slightly. “He did manage to call me last night, and he said he’d try to find a moment to do a video chat to see Ignitus. Right now, the Vanishing illness has apparently taken over the northern part of Gralea, so he’s been terribly busy.” Inwardly, you worried for the prince all the same as you rubbed the stress from your neck. “I do hope he’ll be okay. If the illness is spreading so voraciously, he would do well just to surrender the capital for now and move his people elsewhere.”

Ignis frowned in worry as well. His hand raised and hesitated there in the moment before finding it within him to grab onto yours and squeeze it reassuringly. “He is…a strong man, and he will fight valiantly for his people.” He managed a smile no matter the bitterness that was possibly poisoning his mind at current. “He fights not just for them, Lady Y/N, but for you as well as he wants you to have a throne to sit upon in time beside him.”

A laborious sigh passed your lips. “Crowns, kings, queens, jewels, palaces…” It was your turn to hide your resentment as you gazed away from Ignis in the moment. “Ignis, I would be happy if I were just a normal woman, living in a small house in the countryside looking at such beautiful places from the outside.” Your eyes sought his there in the dim lighting of the bedroom. “My people would see me spoiled given all that’s been done and handed to me, but I envy  ** _them_**  and their lives that have so much more freedom than me. Why can’t I have any of that…?”

The corners of Ignis’ lips dipped down in thought though seeming to shy away from something he wished he could say. “My Lady, if I could give you the world, you know I would,” he whispered in honesty with his head bowed. “Sadly, even I can only promise to work so hard for your happiness.”

You saw the act innocent as you had done it to him constantly throughout yours and his youth as you pushed yourself closer to his cheek to kiss him there as a thanks for his ongoing support regardless of the cage you were locked within. “You’ve done enough, Iggy—even you deserve to rest at times.”

“I’ll rest when I am able,” Ignis confessed with a chuckle. “And did you tell his Highness what the name of the baby was?”

“Of course I did.” You shrugged your shoulders with a lopsided smile. “Anduin doesn’t care. He knows you’ve been a major person in my life.” The smile was sadly chased away in time as you felt your hold upon Ignis tighten ever so. “To which…I am sorry for all that’s happened in the past several months between us…”

“Y/N, all you’ve done is apologize, and I’ve forgiven you each time as I always have and always will,” Ignis reminded you in a firm yet gentle manner. His palm rested upon your cheek, making your heart tense in a foreign manner. “We have a baby to take care of now, so let’s focus on that important task together.”

Taking his wrist, you kindly removed his touch from where it resided only because you worried your flushed cheeks would be exposed in time. “You’re right. Ignitus will certainly change a few things for us around here lately.”

Ignis motioned towards the bed as he took to your robe you were wearing that evening to let only the clothing you wore for bed tend to your body. “You best rest while you can, my Lady. The little one will no doubt wake you early or in the middle of the night for attention as usual.”

“I thought you said you would handle it,” you gently teased as you ventured to the covers to lie down without much guidance in the matter.

“Indeed but I am afraid when it comes to feeding him, I have only a small bit of a bottle left to give him.” Ignis took to the covers, moving them out of your way to let you adjust on the mattress before covering you up comfortably for the evening. “I may need your help if he requires food.” He fondled for the chain on the nearby lamp, giving a welcoming darkness to your bedroom. “Goodnight, Lady Y/N. I will see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Iggy,” you responded in return, pulling the covers up and under your chin to try and combat the horrible chill in the air that usually settled in the palace about the evening hours.

Ignitus seemed to rest just fine on your end. You heard the occasional coos as expected and the threats to become a bit more but nothing ever seemed to escalate as the hours continued. When a dream happened to wake you suddenly so, you found yourself pushing against the mattress to at least sit upright in bed to gaze downward at the crib where your child slept. You thought to take one more look to settle your concerns but just as you pondered on doing so, you caught Ignis in the corner of your vision who was sitting in the rocking chair given to you with the baby in his arms.

His arms supported his son with loving caution, the infant finding comfort there against the part of his father’s chest that was slightly exposed from the robe he wore. The baby appeared to be moaning softly in upset but thanks to Ignis’ attention, it was but a quieted memory.

“Ignis?” you called, rubbing the sleep from your eyes to try and get a better look in his direction.

His brow raised as he continued to push upon his foot ever so to excite the rocking of the chair he sat in. “Forgive me, Princess—did I wake you?”

You shook your head, removing the covers and taking to your feet regardless of the chill you knew that threatened your feet once they touched upon the marble flooring in time. “No, that was my own doing,” you whispered, embracing yourself to keep the cold at bay. “Did I actually sleep during his fussing?” A part of you couldn’t help but worry.

“Not really,” Ignis whispered in an answer so as not to upset his son. “I’ve found out in the past several days when he’s about to get upset. He always calmly threatens to before being a bit more ambitious in his cries.” He situated Ignitus in his arms to where he could at least admire the infant that had found comfort in his father’s embrace. “Doesn’t appear to be hungry or he would have fought me for it, I am sure.” Once more, as the baby threatened to stir in his sleep, Ignis shushed him tenderly before kissing him upon the forehead. “You can go rest if you wish, Lady Y/N. I have this under control.”

You shook your head at the idea, smiling. “I am fine.”

“You are freezing, really,” Ignis commented as he took to his feet to try and escort you back to bed regardless. “At least get under the covers and make yourself comfortable if you wish to remain awake.”

Sighing playfully at his impossible behavior, you moved to the bed at his command. “At least join me so I can have you and my son nearby.”

Ignis looked at you in confusion “Well, I…” He struggled with a thought on what to say. “…As you wish, my Lady.”

“Don’t be so weird,” you playfully returned as you moved the covers out of the way to give him the room he needed to sit down with Ignitus. “We’ve sat together as this before. It doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to.”

“Of course.” Ignis seemed to strain himself in a sigh just trying to depart with those words alone. “Forgive me, I just…” He paused, situating the baby in his arms once more as he let his legs find comfort under your covers and at your side. “…I don’t know what’s become of me lately, Y/N…If I am to be honest.”

Your brow furrowed, bringing your knees to your chest. “You fell in love with me, and I accidentally led you on without thinking.” Saying that aloud made you flinch for many reasons. If you had known how Ignis had felt personally about you during his time tending to your wounds, you wouldn’t have slept with him and tried this ‘friends with benefits’ idea you’ve heard about. However, as time went onward—especially during your pregnancy and even then after—you began to feel differently than before. Honestly, you wouldn’t have dared imagine being with him as a wife as Ignis didn’t feel like he fit the mold you were said to look for in your life, but your parent’s voices and even your betrothed being so distant in the back of your mind, it felt the only person who would be right was Ignis…but it horrified you to openly say so in worry of what may happen. “Is it…alright for me to kiss you on the cheek still?” You didn’t want to emotionally hurt him as you worked on figuring yourself out.

Ignis smiled and a laugh remained barricaded in secret within his throat. “You’ve done that to me since I was eight, my Lady. I almost see it as a hug at times coming from you.”

You blinked in confusion. “Were you really eight when you came here…? I thought you were older?”

“No, I recall vividly that I was eight. You were always kissing me on the cheek no matter how I’d be bashful about it and look away.” Ignis smiled at the memory, rubbing Ignitus’ back. “I honestly believe you saw it as a game of some sort or you were humored by my reactions.”

Memories were always such a fickle thing, especially in regards to one’s youth. It was hard to remember how old you could have been when you met Ignis or even your betrothed. Did you believe you were ten all this time when you met Ignis…? “How can you be so sure?”

Digging into his robe’s pocket he pulled out his phone he refused to be without in case something beckoned to him either from home in Tenebrae or in the castle. Unlocking it with ease, he began to scroll through the pictures that remained on his phone. Handing the device to you after landing on a specific one, Ignis soon moved to his feet to head to the crib to put Ignitus back to bed. “Because of her.”

Looking down at the picture given you, you saw what you could only assume was a partial shot of Ignis’ father sitting on a sofa with a Bengal cat with a wide eyed, golden expression gazing at the camera from where she was resting in her owner’s lap. “She’s a pretty one. Your dad owns this one?”

“Well, ‘owned’, sadly,” Ignis confessed as he made sure his son was tucked properly into bed. “Her name was Pepper, and I loved her dearly as a child.” Finding his way back to the canopy bed, Ignis joined you once more. “My mom was always telling me that cat would find a way into my crib to sleep beside me when I was but an infant. Out of fear of Pepper making it difficult for me to breathe, she had to lock her out of the room to be certain it didn’t happen with her not around. That feline was my playmate when I was younger and like a sibling to me, but she passed away a week or so I was meant to come here to Altissia.” He frowned at that painful memory, and you caught it in the dreadful lighting of the room. “You don’t truly forget the loved ones you see leave you, and that’s how I remember how old I was venturing here as I did often worry I’d be here when she would pass.” A faint smile flickered on his lips at the memory of Pepper. “I remember pleading with my parents to let me stay in Tenebrae with them instead of them moving me to where my uncle was here in Altissia to learn to be your advisor. I wanted to be beside her when she passed, but I cannot tell you what road is easier in that regard.”

“You never told me that,” you whispered, handing the phone back to him as you didn’t see it as right to venture through his pictures without his permission. “I always thought you were very quiet when you were here and to yourself a lot—I guess now, after all these years, I know why.”

“I was grieving, but your presence and my studies made it easier to ignore and accept,” Ignis confessed as he showed you another picture of her just lying on her back with her legs bent lazily in the shot. “My dad found quite a few photos of her he took years ago and sent them to me, so Pepper has her own little place in my phone right now as well as my heart.”

Taking the phone back you did accidentally exit to the main screen to notice she was even his wallpaper. “She really must have meant a lot to you,” you confessed, getting back to the folder he was in to look through the pictures and noticing better shots of his father. “I don’t remember your father or mother much whenever they were here.” The man looked rather tall like Ignis but had such a laid back and almost child like behavior to some of the photos you could tell they were possibly polar opposites in personality. His hair style was nearly identical to Ignis’ if Ignis actually kept his hair down and about his face but his father’s was brown in color as were his eyes. “You look nothing at all like your dad, I hate to say,” you chuckled when you saw a picture of him holding some Maine Coon cat near his face that appeared to be but a kitten.

Ignis breathed out a nasally chuckle of sorts as he looked at the phone. “No, I look more like my mom—anybody in Tenebrae will tell you that with pride.” Reaching over to the phone, he slid to the next picture where he knew there was one of her waiting where she was hugging Ignis who was probably seventeen at the time given the downward style you hardly remembered Ignis wearing often during some of his teen years.

The woman was obviously short as her son seemed to tower over her but the long, blond hair and green eyes were very much a hint that was indeed his mother. Even a bit of her face looked almost like Ignis’ given the structure of it. “I guess you got your tallness from your dad and not your mom, hu?” you asked with a chuckle.

Ignis shrugged with a hum in thought. “Father is…six foot five, I think.” He struggled to remember clearly. “Mom is roughly under five foot five at least, but as my father joked she always had to have the say in everything and her genetics were no different.”

“Well…” you paused, looking at the picture you were on and then the other of his father from earlier to compare him when Ignis was seventeen. “When your hair is down like that you kind of can see your dad a bit in you. I can even see freckles on him a bit, so you got those from him too at least.”

Out of instinct, Ignis tugged at the tips of his hair that were hanging loosely about his face for the evening as he was resting earlier. “Beauty marks, an ability to cook, and tallness are about all I got from that man,” he admitted with a quiet laugh. “And a fondness of cats, perhaps, no thanks to him constantly talking about his ‘babies’ over the phone when I get a chance to talk to him, but…he is very much a kid at heart who my mother continues to watch over and love unconditionally with quite the patience.”

“Oh, come on now,” you scoffed teasingly, flippantly hitting his chest with the back of your hand. “I don’t know him that well but judging by these pictures he’s not a bad man.”

“He’s not a bad man, no,” Ignis confessed with a knowing grin, brushing off your playful assault. “He too is a sweet, caring man with a lot of patience given how firm my mother can be.”

“Seems your father has another baby,” you responded while continuing onward through his pictures if Ignis didn’t care what you were looking at in his gallery. Again and again you noticed a string of Maine Coon pictures of that same cat with adorable tufted looking ears and splotches of soft blacks, whites, and browns upon the fur.

“Cinnamon,” he corrected as he moved in a bit closer to get a better look. “He got that cat…seven years ago…?” Ignis’ voice hinted he wasn’t quite sure. “Father tries not to keep too many pets around after the last incident so he only keeps the one or two cats.”

“What incident?” you asked in concern, noticing another picture of Ignis’ father in his old uniform when he used to work as the butler for the Princess of Tenebrae. The one thing you did know was that Ignis’ parents were retired and living out in the countryside of Tenebrae with their own plot of land where the man grew his own produce.

“Father used to own horses but one of them got sick with the Starscourge and it was just too much to watch that horse degenerate into madness for him,” Ignis said with a heavy sigh at the memory. “In time, it turned into a Spiracorn as he had a hard time ridding himself of her. In his depressive state of hoping to keep her sanity, it gouged the other two to death and almost took my father with it when he tried to stop her.”

Your heart squeezed at the thought, hand to your chest. “By the gods…!”

“My mother and I were a wreck thinking he was going to die given how deep that wound was and where it was placed upon his chest, but by some miracle, the horse missed his heart and he was able to heal in time. He has an irregular heartbeat no thanks in kind to the incident, but it’s monitored closely.” Ignis turned to you as he rested his hand in his lap. “It’s why not a lot of people keep many pets in Eos. It’s that illness a lot are fearful of and with good reason. Watching a loved one die is bad enough, but watching them succumb to madness and threaten to kill you is dreadful.”

“Did your mom ever kill the Spiracorn..?” you asked nervously, handing Ignis’ phone back to him. You knew the woman was well versed in daggers and the katana when she served as the Princess’ advisor those many years ago, so you knew she was capable of handling herself just as Ignis’ father was.

Your advisor shook his head, his lips thinned. “The horse dashed away into the night, and we never saw it again.”

You sighed to yourself, resting your head against Ignis’ upper shoulder. “I just hope Ignitus doesn’t want a pet. Now I’m scared that could ever happen to us.”

“Don’t be,” Ignis encouraged as he rubbed your opposite arm in comfort. “The chances of any pet being infected are random just as it is with any human and the signs of the madness are easy to spot before it becomes deadly. You may be unaware of what to look for, but I am not. If we ever got a pet for him, I’d keep a close watch on it.”

Hugging Ignis closely, you sighed out your concerns. “I’ll hold you to that then, hon.”

You felt Ignis sigh as he planted his lips upon your head to kiss you tenderly. “You should rest, Princess,” Ignis advised as he took to his feet as well as pocketing back his phone. “You’ll need to be up early to feed Ignitus and yourself.” He held onto the covers, moving them out of your way to allow you the space you required to get comfortable before letting them rest near your shoulder. “Goodnight, my Lady. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night, Iggy,” you yawned, not realizing how tired you were now that you were lying down on the bed once more.

 ———————————

It took a few weeks but in time, Anduin was able to finally schedule a time to sit down and see Ignitus from his computer that he had set up in a town a mile or so away from Gralea in order to keep an eye on the capital. He had evacuated the city of people who were free of the Starscourge and asked of them to relocate to somewhere safer no matter where that may very well be. Where he lived now just outside the border of the city felt identical to a bunker as he was allowed his privacy but he had so little room from what you could make out on the other side of the screen.

“Are you going to be alright over there?” you asked hesitantly, hating to know things were that bad for Niflheim. “You look like you’re in some old fashioned bunker or a prison cell with how cheery it looks over there.”

Anduin laughed briefly at the perception, looking behind him on impulse at your words to note the bed that looked more like a cot on iron rails in the back with a few boxes for previsions and clothes. “We’ll be fine, Y/N. This was where we were able to rest down for the time being as we try to figure out the cause of this sudden epidemic that’s taken over Gralea.” He shrugged, managing a smile. “It’s bigger than it looks, I promise.” The Prince’s blue eyes turned to Ignitus who remained asleep in your arms. “You might need to move the camera a bit closer to him as he’s all bundled up and hard to see properly.”

Taking the camera latched onto the frame of your computer, you brought it closer to where Ignitus’ face was in focus. “Can you see him now?”

“He’s absolutely beautiful,” Anduin praised with a fretful look. “I am sorry I couldn’t be there for his birth or even through those months with you. I would give anything to just hold you both about now.”

You could tell it weighed heavily upon him even if it sparked sorrow in you. “We know you have your reasons, and Ignitus doesn’t have to know about all of that.” A smile wavered upon your lips. “He just…needs to know what a brave and amazing man his father is…” Your words trailed off as you looked away, mind seeming to go right back to Ignis.

“How has Ignis been doing by the way?” Anduin asked, almost making you panic thinking you might have said something unknowingly for the Prince to ask that.

“Oh, uh…He’s alright. He’s been teaching me to handle magic, and I have to say it’s hard to manage and absolutely terrifying to know I have that stuff in my hands.” As Ignis had promised, he was trying to aid you to overcome your fear when it came to ice as well as teaching you how to handle fire spells as well. You hadn’t hurt yourself in the process, but you always worried you might.

“If you put your mind to it, Princess, I am sure you’ll do it,” Anduin insisted only to pause when he heard his door suddenly fly open. A soldier came to his side and started to speak a bunch of hushed nonsense you couldn’t make sense of but he sounded frantic. “I’m afraid I have to go,” he expressed in a sigh of sorrow. “I’ll try and be on later tonight, Lady Y/N. I hope to speak to you soon—love you both.”

“Please be careful, Anduin,” you begged, moving Ignitus closer to your chest as you felt the baby stir. “We love you dearly.” It felt like such a half lie…You cared for the Prince of Niflheim but not as you were once led to believe you should, and it was beginning to tug painfully at your heart. After the call had ended, you sat down to feed Ignitus there in the privacy of your bedroom as your mind became a whirling mess. Your fingers casually stroking his cheek and the side of his head as he suckled greedily, you sighed calmly to yourself. “Don’t ever be like me, baby. You’ll drive people crazy.”

You always insisted to do the magic training somewhere other than where Ignitus was resting, so Ignis was fine to do it in his bedroom. Honestly, you just didn’t want to put your son in danger and Ignis agreed with the notion. The two of you merely kept a close listen in on the baby monitor to be certain he was alright.

Ignis held an ice spell, contained as it was in its compressed state in the orb he held. You could tell what it was based on the color. “Are you ready to try again, my Lady?”

Nervously, you tried to keep what little courage you had. “Yes, I am ready.”

He looked to you in understanding, placing his hand upon your shoulder to try and ease your nervousness. “I am right here. Nothing foul will befall you. If you don’t wish to do this at all, just let me know.”

“N-No, no—I’m fine. I promise,” you insisted, letting him sit down on the bed to where you could join him. He handed you the device that would easily trigger and release the spell upon impact of your hand, the case an easy barrier to dispel when applied the right pressure. Ignis’ held onto your wrists was gentle reassurance.

“Remember, Princess: concentrate,” Ignis instructed, the warmth of his body next to yours and allowing you in turn to ignore the chill the spell gave off. “The ice is at your mercy and will do as you wish of it.”

All you could think to do was nod, allowing him to force your hands together to remove the containment on the spell and allow it to be free to control in your hands. Seeing it flicker and rage about like an unsettling fire, you almost panicked only to have Ignis quiet and calm you. His fingers slid to the divide of yours as he instructed you what to do.

“Calm yourself, my Lady,” Ignis whispered close to your ear. “It is a servant to your will, and if you falter, it will overtake you.”

“I just don’t want it to harm me,” you confessed, thinking back on the Ice Bombs that were fine to nearly tear you apart sometime ago.

“We turn nightmares into more pleasant thoughts,” your advisor reminded you, using his will on the magic spell to try and bend it to his needs while keeping a firm hold onto your hands to make it feel like you were in control. “Let me see if I cannot aid you in that…”

Your heart beating wildly, you watched as the ice began to take form—something you had never seen happen before beyond Ignis turning the magic into actual ice swords in the past that encased a part of his arms and hands. It seemed to struggle to become anything of worth that you could take note of as Ignis began to breathe heavily at trying to make it work…finally becoming successful.

Eyes widening at the sight, you noted that the spell had been manipulated into a star for you to witness. “Ignis…?” you questioned breathlessly, remembering that night you spent with him.

**_“If he wanted to win my heart, he’d have to get me the very thing I ever wanted.”_ ** ****

**_“Such as?”_** you recalled Ignis asking in the back of your mind.

**_“A star—the brightest start from the northern most part of the sky.”_ **

“It is not…the real thing, but a token, if you will,” Ignis confessed as he moved to catch the ice star in his grasp. “Manipulating magic to instruct it to take a form other than what is natural is quite difficult, and I harmed myself a bit in the process, but…” Again, his voice staggered as he looked to you with the item in question, offering it like any man may have a wedding ring. “…At current, Y/N, this is the closest thing I could manage to getting you what you wanted.”

The star was cold to the touch, but even as you held it the trinket didn’t seem to melt away or give signs that it very well might. The designs within it seemed to have a mind of their own as they gave such an interesting pattern to the star replica. “Ignis…” you breathed again, not sure what to say as nobody in your life bothered to bend to such a request. In the moment, you blinked yourself back to reality. “It…It will melt, won’t it?”

“If you wish to treasure it as I do you, Lady Y/N, then I have a means to keep it from ever doing so,” Ignis said, letting your decision sink in as he removed his hands from your own to allow you to admire the star.

A quivering sigh escaped your chest, causing you to look up at your advisor who appeared fretful of what you’d say or do. Nobody had gone out of their way for you and the man who did was the one you insisted you felt nothing for beyond a friendship. Letting the star rest in your lap, you forgot the limitations and laws bound to you both that would damn you for loving one another beyond more than friends, and you kissed him passionately for the first time in over a year.

 


	6. Chapter 6

The ice star was delicately put to rest on the nearby nightstand in Ignis’ room as your focus turned elsewhere beyond the treasure. Fingertips on your advisor’s cheeks to encourage the affectionate even if forbidden kiss onward, you could taste the hunger upon each movement and in each vicarious, warm breath of his that filled your lungs. Ignis’ fingers curled with need upon your sides to encourage you onward, but in the feverish heat of the moment you felt him stiffen and move from your lips ever slightly at the soft, warning warble of your son from just over the monitor. 

Your kiss found its way upon the rugged texture of his throat, feeling as he swallowed as if to bite back the temptation of doing more given what was expressed in the other room. “What is it?” you asked, following his gaze towards the baby monitor to hear the soft sounds of Ignitus as well. 

Ignis didn’t even answer. He was too focused on his son in your bedroom though he did affectionately rub your back in tender care to signal your words greeted him. 

“He’ll be alright,” you insisted, hoping to ease your advisor’s worries as your fingers took great care in ushering his dirty blond strands away from his features. “He’s probably just stirring is all.” 

“No,” Ignis responded in a whisper, allowing you in the moment to find rest upon him if you so wished. “He usually stirs ever so before sounding distressed about something I’ve noticed.” 

You quietly laughed to yourself and just as you were about to insist he worried too much after planting another loving kiss near the corner of his mouth, it was there Ignitus became vocal in his upset as Ignis predicted. Closing your eyes and sighing to yourself, you laid your head to rest in defeat upon Ignis’ chest for a mere moment till you found your eyes taking to his. “Your son has horrible timing.” 

Ignis’ chest rumbled with a soft laugh. “Well, he learns from his mother.” You pretended to be offended by your expression alone only to have him gently nudge you from his bed and insist on heading to the door. “I changed him earlier, so I am certain he is merely hungry.” 

“Ever so the glutton,” you joked, taking to your feet with the star soon in hand to head to the bedroom with Ignis behind you. 

The item glittered with perfection there in your grasp, catching the lights in the hallway as you watched the active inner workings of the designs swirl and dance to create new patterns for you to enjoy. No star of the north could do such a thing, but the fact Ignis was able to study up on the plans of making such a unique item with your interest at heart made you smile even if a heavy pain made harbor within your chest at how you felt it was for the better you remained away from him and his very forward affections. 

Would it even be safe or ideal to be with him? Your love for him was platonic at first, changing ever so in secret over the course of the year after the doors you personally unlocked for him, but even if you did truly love him…laws were in effect and there was no law that would openly allow you to wed your advisor over your betrothed. 

Ignis was soon before the crib of his son, bending down to pick him up to try and calm Ignitus’ upset with a gentle shush as he cradled the infant to his chest. “I can take care of the star while you tend to our son, Y/N.” He had taken note of you peering at it, enchanted by its design. 

“A fair trade then,” you whispered between you both, handing Ignis the trinket as you cradled Ignitus in your grasp. You took your seat upon your bed, getting comfortable to see if it was indeed just the baby being hungry as Ignis predicted when you allowed him the room he needed to drink. 

Sure enough, Ignitus took greedily to the nipple exposed to him. You sighed with much relief as the upset quieted and the boy was calmed. 

“Only been a few weeks, and you know our son better than me?” You were teasing, really, but also impressed. 

Ignis had taken to a small dome like container he knew you had buried within your room from when you once used to hold a rare flower that was precious to you. Sadly, in time’s cruel embrace, the flower wilted and had to be discarded, but you kept the fixture as you deemed it too precious to remove from your care. He placed it with great caution on your nightstand before filling the inner dome with another ice spell he had on him and laid to rest the star within the fixture before sealing it. “I just use a special ability called common sense, my Lady,” Ignis gently mocked. “But honestly, I’ve just been watching him closely when able as your father suggested I do regardless of him knowing the truth of Ignitus’ origins. He rarely ever just goes back to resting after waking up, he also seems to enjoy rousing at nearly three in the morning every day for some reason, and he also enjoys falling asleep to the Glacian hymn should I so hum it.” With the star in place, Ignis took his seat beside you where he embraced you. It was foreign—or perhaps forgotten from before—as the hug felt more that which a lover would do to another than an advisor trying to be comforting to his charge. 

“Glacian hymn? I wasn’t aware you’d even know that one anymore given how rarely you visit home.” You fell into the embrace regardless, resting against Ignis’ chest as your son continued to nurse in peace. The weight of Ignis’ chin was upon your head in time as he laid witness to the beauty of the moment. His finger caught the small, wandering grasp of Ignitus and the infant responded with a small yet noticeable squeeze to his father’s touch. 

“Mm, I kept it close to me for many reasons, Princess,” Ignis affirmed as the side of his finger casually stroked his son’s cheek. “I may do so for awhile yet.” 

The wording sounded vague…as though there was some inner mystery meant to be unraveled there, but you weren’t sure what it was. “He is lucky to have you as his father given how attentive and caring you are.” 

“You are equally a loving mother to him, Lady Y/N,” Ignis whispered, the words warmly breathed upon your skin upon him moving to let them carry closer near your ear. “Never think otherwise.”

 

\------------------------------------

 

The months became livelier than before and less burdening to you. After Ignis’ gift and wish to be beside you, you had forgotten of the laws that restricted you both now and again and tended to one another in private when you both knew the world wasn’t watching. Another forbidden romance kept in secret, barricaded behind your door and sealed behind your lips. Still, the both of you planned on what to say or do when the time would come for the truth to be unearthed but for now you merely enjoyed in one another’s company with a babe in hand. 

Ignis waited a few months to bother asking in his own ways if it were alright to explore you yet again. Honestly, it was hard to find a moment of peace to even consider such a thing but in the rare seconds of such you both managed to find a way. You hardly realized how long your body had thirst for such an intimate connection again until you felt his bare hands and body twined euphorically with yours yet again. The way he touched you it felt as though you were some irreplaceable masterpiece that he couldn’t be without, a goddess of his world he was unworthy to hold yet again. 

Every now and again you would feel his fingers bend in a submission of hunger only to recoil in fear he may be wounding you instead of giving you the pleasure you so rightly deserved. Regardless, you too felt he was irreplaceable in your life and in your heart as he was the only man to work valiantly for your favor. 

As you both found your rest against the other under the covers of your bed one afternoon you were free, you brought his hand, which lasted lazily over your side, closer to your lips to kiss him as though he were the prince and you the ever loyal mentor. His fingers reanimated in the moment as you felt them wiggle ever so in your grasp till they curled and pleasantly gripped upon your hold. 

“How are you feeling, love?” Ignis asked, his words a bit muffled from where you were resting upon the pillow. 

You curled his hand inward towards your chest, cradling it as though it were precious to you. “I am just fine.” Moving backward to feel his bare body against yours yet again, you hummed in content. 

Ignis kissed the back of your head as his arm brought you closer to him. As he kept you tightly in his hold, he heard the ever gentle cooing of your son at the foot of the bed to which he turned and acknowledged. “Later today I plan on trying to interest Ignitus into more solid foods. I have a few recipes in mind to see if he may take kindly to them.” 

“Making your own baby food now, hmm?” you asked, tone labored with laziness as you just wanted to rest there in Ignis’ arms and forget the world around you. 

“It is hardly as much trouble as you assume it to be, Y/N,” insisted your advisor with an equally laid back chuckle. “I was told to wait six months, and now that the time has past, I aim to see what he’ll fancy eating.” 

“He sometimes watches me eat, so I guess it might be a good time to try as he’s acted interested in other foods. I suppose milk can only be so appealing after awhile.” 

The mattress moaned as Ignis shifted upon the bed, seeming to peer towards the windows that arched in a unique design behind him. “The Moogle Chocobo Carnival will begin this weekend.” His voice was hesitant as if not wishing to dredge up foul memories. Even at the mention you thought to shrug it away. “I wasn’t aware if you wished to attend with myself and Ignitus.” 

Thinking about the idea, you nuzzled against the mattress with a subtle hum. “I am…scared to kind of be out in public, Ignis…with all things considered,” you confessed reluctantly as it sounded so childish, you knew, but after the unplanned pregnancy and also being so horribly wounded and stuck in bed for what seemed like forever in your attempts to run from your duties, you didn’t want to see what the people thought of you beyond the sanctity of your bedroom walls. 

Ignis muffled an ‘awe’ sort of sound, his embrace becoming a bit more comforting and supportive in the act. “You cannot remain a princess locked in a tower, Y/N,” he insisted, words breathed tenderly upon your skin as he held you. “You are the coming Queen of Niflheim, the woman to bring unification to Accordo and the Empire…” He paused, words heavy with that thought even if attempting to bring light back to you as his fingers toyed with the messy strands of your hair. “…You are human, Y/N, and you make mistakes as do we all. Nobody should think dreadful of that.” 

You brought his nearby arm closer to your body, letting it lay to rest between your breasts as his palm found its home sprawled upon your beating heart. More than anything, you were hoping to be empowered with his support. 

“Besides, I will be there beside you,” Ignis reminded you, sparing a kiss upon your head. “If anybody should do or say anything out of line, I will see to it that it is dealt with.” 

Pondering his words, you turned to where you could look at him. Ignis’ gentle hold upon your chest migrated and it was there he tended to the strands of your hair that laid a mess about you, escorting them from your features. Kissing his lips tenderly, you found rest just under his chin with a subtle sigh. “I thank you, Ignis,” you spoke tenderly, moving your nearest leg over his to hold him with your whole body in the moment. 

As Ignis ended up leaving to prepare for making a lunch for everyone, you stayed with Ignitus in the bedroom merely watching as he took in the sights and sounds about him. He had become curious in the months that passed and was acting far more animated than when he was born. In time, Ignitus had even learned to sit upright by himself—a surprise welcomed early to Ignis when he walked in on it one early morning when the baby seemed to be waiting for him. 

Annalyn insisted you be aware of teething in the coming month and that was apparently all that needed to be said for Ignis to find the proper toys for Ignitus to chew on when he so desired to. The baby didn’t seem irritable yet, so you took that as a sign of relief given how restless Ignitus could already be from time to time. 

The meal was brought to your room as you had your own dining spot and it was preferred than sitting in the dining hall hoping for your parents to actually show up and make conversation. As Ignis prepared the table, you kept to the side of the bed while kissing and keeping your playful attention upon your son to which prompted a ‘mum’ like word to continuously hum past his lips as he tried to reach for your face with his hand. 

“Mommy?” you asked again, grabbing his little hand to kiss his fingers. “Can you say ‘mommy’?” 

All Ignitus did was laugh and smile at your reaction, turning to Ignis when he came to your side. 

“Appears he’s getting there,” Ignis said with a warm smile to his son. “I am sure he’ll be saying it in no time.” He offered his arms for Ignitus, bringing him to his chest before situating him down in the baby seat while you took your own. “Here we are.” 

The baby food was so mashed into what looked like soup you could hardly tell what it really was. “What all did you make him?” 

“Hoping to try a bit of carrots that I whipped up. We’ll try that first and see how he fairs till moving on to something else in the coming week if he enjoys it.” Just as Ignis had gotten Ignitus situated for eating his lunch, his phone buzzed there in his coat pocket. “Mm?” The screen visible for the advisor to see, he nasally sighed to himself as if he was dreading the call, but he knew it was necessary to answer. “Can you begin feeding him, love? I have to answer this.” 

“Certainly.” You moved yourself a bit closer to your son, watching and listening in on the call Ignis was about to answer. 

“Hello, father,” Ignis answered, turning from the dining table there in your room so as not to be a nuisance in some form. 

The man’s voice was loud in responding—so loud you could almost make out most of what was being said. He was excited that he finally got a hold of his son. “Didn’t catch you at a bad time, have I?” Aurdis asked on the other line. “You sound like I interrupted something of importance.” 

“You caught all that from ‘hello, father’?” Ignis questioned, turning away further from the table and looking off at the nearby wall where your TV was in the room. Honestly, even you had to admit there was a sort of annoyed twinge to his greeting. It appeared Ignis didn’t seem to catch it in himself. 

“And here you thought I didn’t know my own son,” Aurdis scoffed playfully. He spoke of something else, making Ignis merely nod and hum in agreement but the words were so distant that you didn’t understand what he had said to his son. “We were hoping you’d come back to Tenebrae for a bit to celebrate with your mom and me.” 

Your heart sunk a bit when you heard that bit. Ignis did have a tendency to go on small vacations to see his family but those weeks or so without him were agonizing. Now with a baby you both shared in secret, you didn’t want to imagine being without him as he was the one to always help you with Ignitus. Even if it were to just be a week, you were scared to think of what could happen without him and his guidance merely right next door or beside you. 

As you pondered the fretful thought, Ignitus whimpered and called out to your attention as he was being accidentally teased by the food you had on the spoon inches from his mouth. “Oh, sorry baby,” you apologized, spooning the baby food to him while Ignis turned to the fussy child there in the moment of talking to his father over the phone. 

“Father—.” Ignis paused, being cut off by his dad again to which he pinched the bridge of his nose as if to combat a minor headache at the constant talking his dad was doing. “Mhmm…Dad, it’s an _anniversary_. Shouldn’t you and mom spend that time alone?” 

“We spend everyday here without you!” Aurdis insisted rather loudly as if offended by the thought though his words came across as more playful than anything. “Besides, how do you think you were brought into this world? It would be nice to have you here with us during such an occasion.” 

“I…fortunately didn’t need to be reminded of that, father,” spoke Ignis as his cheeks began to turn a rosy red with embarrassment at how forward his own parent could be. “You know I would be delighted to, but you should be aware that I have the young prince to watch over here in Altissia alongside the princess.” 

“And the princess has servants who can help her when you’re unable to be around,” Aurdis informed Ignis, not aware fully of what the place was like but wanting his son by his side again as it had been quite awhile. 

Ignis voice was quick but quiet as he sternly replied. “You know I do not trust or care for those women.” 

You turned from the conversation back to Ignitus who seemed to eat the mashed up carrots just fine even if getting some of it on his chin. The mess was tended to with a pleased smile. “Enjoy that, hu?” 

“Dad… _dad_ …” Ignis was trying desperately to get his father’s attention as Aurdis had apparently wandered off the rails again when it came to talking. He raised his hand, acting as though Aurdis was in the same room as him and hoping to calm the man down from talking about some wild adventure of his—appeared to be a kneejerk reflex of sorts in these moments. “I’ll consider the invitation but at current there is too much going on here that leaves me unable to attend. Just please bear it in mind. Right now, I am afraid I was sitting down to eat lunch for the afternoon. Do you mind if I call you back later?” 

“Ah, well, I will be around if you decide to but please call your mother instead,” you heard Aurdis insist over the line. “She’s missing you and wants to talk to you when you have a moment.” 

“Give her my love in the meantime, and I will call her as soon as possible,” spoke Ignis, turning back to the table where he waited for the last few lines to be said by his father in closing the conversation. “Goodbye for now—I love you.” 

“What was that about?” you asked even if you heard most of the conversation (you just didn’t want to seem rude by assuring you had). 

“My father was asking me to join him in Tenebrae this upcoming month as that will be his and my mother’s anniversary,” Ignis affirmed, cutting and eating a bit of the fish he had on his plate to at least be certain it didn’t get cold before he could enjoy it. “I was reminding him that I have Ignitus as a charge to tend to, but he tends to feel the servants will behave themselves if I am not around you both, and he should know better with what he had to tend with in Tenebrae’s palace with the princess there.” 

“He was a butler, wasn’t he?” you asked, feeding Ignitus again to see if he’d continue to be supportive of the idea of carrots. 

“Mhmm.” Ignis watched his son closely, pleasantly surprised that he was willing to eat the mashed carrots as he knew there was a possibility Ignitus might refuse them. “Good boy,” he praised, wiping away a bit of the food left on the corner of his child’s mouth. “He worked under the princess till the spiracorn incident, and then he was forced to retire as they were concerned for his health and ailed heart. Mother continued to work as the princess’ advisor till mom could stomach it no longer being in that palace without her husband for hours at a time and retired from her position after training a replacement for a year or so.” 

“I’m surprised she didn’t ask you to take her place since you knew enough working under your uncle’s tutelage.” You added a dry laugh to the comment, hoping to not sound bitter or upset at the thought that haunted you in the moment. 

Ignis’ brow shrugged as he folded his hands under his chin in thought of how to respond. “She did,” he said in a whisper as if the memory sort of haunted him. “Even if it was during the era of our falling out as friends when you were sixteen, I stayed my hand on the very idea as I didn’t want to lose you.” 

Your brow furrowed at the thought, tapping your own fork upon your plate as you debated on what to say. “You really did endure a lot for me— ** _from_** me,” you corrected at the last moment, witnessing as Ignis stared at you in a way that made it difficult for you to say how he was feeling. “And yet you still want my heart…?” 

He sighed through his nostrils, reaching across the table to place his hand upon yours. “I knew the old you was in there still somewhere. I wasn’t about to run away from that battle of seeing your love again no matter the form it took in my life, Y/N. If I did…I knew I’d regret it forever.” 

Eyes to the hand that held your grasp there upon the table, you brought it to your lips once more to kiss the back of it as though he were once again a higher monarch in your life. Ignis’ index finger flexed outward and he touched your cheek. 

“A princess shouldn’t tend to someone of lower position this way,” he whispered between you. “I am hardly of nobility or worth to be treated with such grace in comparison to you, my Lady.” 

A smile near broken by the truth lay to rest upon your lips. Your eyes hurt with the heaviness of tears as you shook your head. “It’s how a Lady treats the man she loves—a man who should be seen as her equal.” 

Hearing you say such a thing, Ignis seemed to gasp to himself as there were rarely a time he could count lately that you had said you loved him. Actions could speak louder than words but just hearing them was satisfying to him all the same. 

The laws could forbid it all they wanted to, but he fought the hardest out of anybody to see to it you were never alone. He fought the most valiantly to be certain your inner daemons didn’t devour you.

 

\------------------------------------

 

It had been so long since you bothered to step foot outside of the palace walls. The very thought made your stomach knot in anxiety as you put on something comfortable to walk around in about Altissia with the carnival in town. How long had it truly been for you? Too long for you to remember really. The bitterness was still there in your body, but you had to remind yourself that it would do Ignitus well to go beyond the enclosed walls of the palace. 

“Ready to go, Princess?” Ignis asked as he had finished strapping Ignitus down in the baby stroller. 

You took a deep breath, straightening your back and releasing the tension from your muscles before turning to nod. “I guess so. Do we have everything we need?” 

Ignis motioned to the bag he had placed in the baby stroller. “Everything is very much in order.” 

A hesitant nod departed from you as you allowed Ignis to lead the way out of the palace and down to the streets of Altissia. Just stepping past the gate was enough to nearly make your knees buckle and want to run back inside. It had been so long since you bothered to traverse these roads of your city and as it were in the past year or so, you were embarrassed to show your face given all the news about. Just as the thought gnawed cruelly upon you, Ignis’ hand responded by grabbing your wrist to hold you steady. 

“New and far more pleasant memories can be made here, Y/N,” he reminded you as the citizens merely went about their lives enjoying the sights or stopped to take a picture or two of you out in public. “I am right beside you, and I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

Finding some form of courage in those words, you continued onward and acted as any mother would attending the carnival with her son and husband. Of course, with the media very much about you knew you had to be very to yourself and Ignis as well had to watch his mannerisms and wording about you and your son so as not to cause a media sensation that could harm the very thought of having you enjoy yourself once more. 

 The occasional bold person or two would stop you both to get a good look at Ignitus, taking a picture if you felt you could spare a moment to allow it but other than that the people at the carnival were good at allowing you space. Hearing the distant warble of the chocobos over the commotion the carnival brought, you gestured with an eager grab to Ignis’ upper arm. 

“Ah, there they are!” you exclaimed passionately. 

Chocobos were a bit more feral in Accordo than they were tamed. Some were seen pulling carriages from time to time but they were considered working animals and weren’t allowed to be petted or treated as house pets. The only time you truly got to do such a thing was when the annual festival was in town. It had been so long since you had gotten the chance to actively pet and feed them that you stepped away from Ignis and Ignitus to get to the nearest one as soon as possible. It was sky-blue in color and welcomed you with a soft trill of a kweh as your hand tended to the bony beak. 

“Been awhile since I’ve seen that face,” responded a familiar voice tending to the birds. 

He was a man who had been tending to the birds for years and had been coming to the festival for as long as you could remember. A middle-aged gentleman with grayed hair and beard he never cared to bother with dying as he put more pride in his birds than anything. Never a bad thing in your mind as you understood the birds were like family to him. 

“Wiz,” you greeted with a beaming smile as you moved to hug him regardless of formalities. “It is so good to see you made it this year.” 

“Me?” the chocobo caretaker laughed his question as he embraced you in return. “I never miss a beat when it comes to spending time here in Altissia, Lady Y/N. It’s you I’ve not seen in quite some time.” 

You nodded, rubbing your upper arm a bit nervously as to why. “It’s a long story, really, but I am happy to see you again.” 

Wiz’s weary eyes turned to Ignis and the stroller carrying your son. “Pleasure to see you as well again, Ignis, and this must be the little one I’ve heard about even from over in Lucis.” 

“A pleasure,” greeted Ignis with a respectful bow, turning on instinct to look down at Ignitus who appeared to be gazing upward at the frightfully tall birds looming nearby with wide-eyed interest. Ignis moved to the front of the stroller to unfasten Ignitus from where he was, holding him in his embrace to get a better view of the birds nearby and allowing Wiz a good look at the young prince as well. 

“I guess news travels that far, hu?” Honestly, after the whole scenario of you trying to run away, you hadn’t bothered doing much in tuning in to the news. It merely worsened when Ignitus was announced to have been born out of wedlock and after a few hurtful things graced your ears and eyes, Ignis refused you the displeasure of it. 

“Always has and always does, my Lady,” Wiz confessed, his brow seeming to wrinkle further in understanding of the tone your words harbored in regards to fear and pain. “Don’t let none of that get to you, Lady Y/N. You should be proud of the son you have.” 

Turning to Ignitus you smiled as you noticed he was continuing to look at the giant birds with his mouth agape in awe as Ignis kept a careful and close watch on him while petting the nearby golden one that seemed to be very well tempered. “He has made life a bit more interesting and certainly…eye opening.” Your eyes had ventured to Ignis in the moment, a brief smile spreading across your lips as the two continued to act in interest of the chocobos. 

“Be sure to bring ‘em around a bit more, ya hear?” Wiz insisted. “Chocobos being so rare to see about these parts and all that…would be a right shame to rob the boy of experiencing them now and again.” 

Inwardly, you had to admit it was a bit criminal in a way but given the limitations of where the birds could go in Altissia and some other cities about Accordo, you understood why owning them as anything other than working birds was far from ideal. You laughed to yourself, nodding. “Maybe when I am ever allowed the honor, you may find us in Lucis to enjoy your farm and its inner workings.” 

“That would be quite the honor, Lady Y/N,” said Wiz with a raise of his hand. “And before y’all think of leaving anytime soon—.” He excused himself from the conversation for a brief moment, moving to his own booth near the back to bring up a stuffed, yellow chocobo plush that was almost the same size as Ignitus. “Usually only give these to folks who win the races and all that, but I feel I can make an exception as I wasn’t able to give anything to the young Prince upon his birth and all.” 

Accepting the gift, you shook your head at the kind gesture all the same. “You know you do not have to do that, Wiz.” 

“Don’t have to, but I want to, my Lady,” the chocobo breeder corrected. 

You held the gift close to your chest. “I appreciate it greatly, and I know he will too.” 

It took forever for Ignis to insist on prying you away from the chocobos but after a moment of doing so the three of you went about the festival participating in other attractions when not sitting down to take a rest from having walked so many miles. It was nice to feel like you were even just shopping for toys for your son as you never had the pleasure of doing so before. Usually, they were gifts sent by the people or things Ignis picked up when at the market but now you were finally able to participate in the fun of it. 

Ignitus found intrigue in everything. Every stall had something new and exciting he had to squeal about even if he wasn’t sure what exactly was happening given his age. Stopping at another booth that had a few items of interest, you did note that he appeared very fixated on the toys behind the glass that was about his eye level. 

“What do you see, baby?” you asked, squatting down beside him with Ignis taking to the other side. Ignitus looked to you at your words smiling before gazing back to the stuffed animals on display with a little stretch. 

Ignis followed his son’s gaze, a small laugh heard in his throat. “Seems to be interested in the spiracorn in there.” 

There was a moogle, chocobo, cactuar, and spiracorn on display. “You like the pony?” 

“I advise this should be the last of it, Princess,” Ignis insisted firmly on the matter. “Otherwise, the boy is going to be buried under a mountain of toys.” 

“I believe you were responsible for most of those toys,” you chided in a teasing manner, taking to your feet to ask the vendor for the spiracorn plush that was inside. “I think I can have my moment to spoil my son.” 

Ignis good-naturedly sighed. “Of course, my Lady.” 

Paying the gil needed for the plush on display, you squatted back down and showed the spiracorn to Ignitus without the glass in the way. “This what you wanted, hmm?” Instantly Ignitus’ face lit up as he reached for the toy you held in front of him. “Aww, won’t your father be happy about that,” you said in a lighthearted manner in regards to the spiracorn attack he had to endure. 

“He wasn’t traumatized by it, my Lady,” Ignis informed, taking to the stroller once more to insist on heading back to the palace as the sun was setting. “He was merely heartbroken and even then, his heart—as weary and weak as it is after that attack—is on the mend.” 

“I am just teasing you.” You gently nudged him, walking beside him as you both agreed prior it would be wise to head back to the palace before the fireworks and watch them from a distance so the loud sounds wouldn’t upset and spook Ignitus. “Lighten up every once in awhile.” 

As your son was later tucked in for bed after dinner you kept the balcony door cracked as you stood in wait for the fireworks display to begin. 

“Don’t mind watching them from this far do you, Y/N?” Ignis asked as he offered you a warm drink in the chill of the evening. 

The porcelain rim upon your lips, you shook your head as you felt refreshed from the hot tea. “It’s beautiful whether up close or far away.” Your hand fondled in the dark for Ignis’, slipping your fingers through the divide of his. The leather texture of his gloved hand gave a form of comfort to you as you leaned over to rest your head upon his shoulder. “Besides, I had to go eight hours without being allowed to be intimate with you in any form, and I was about to wither from that.” 

Pulling from his coffee, Ignis kissed the top of your head. “The feeling is affectionately mutual.” He gestured to the seat nearby, taking his own beside you as he kept a close listen for Ignitus just in case the boy became distressed. “And now, Y/N?” The question seemed incomplete, urging you to turn to him. “Does the festival still not suit your fancy or did you wish to attend again some other time through the week?” 

Hearing the first pop of the first firework set off, you turned to the golden look of the colors that mocked the form of a chocobo while the other behind it sparkled to the look of a moogle. “The taste is not near as bitter,” you confessed with a smile, leaning over to rest your head on his shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind going again in the coming days.” 

Ignis turned ever slightly, touching your chin with his fingers to urge you to address him. Eyes lidded in a sort of want he only had to express in his ways, you beckoned to it and kissed him sweetly there in the kaleidoscope of colors that filled the night. When you pulled back from his lips a mere few inches, Ignis allowed you the moment to breathe until insisting on another more passionate display. 

The sweet caress of his tongue against your lower lip ordered your barrier to lower as you allowed him further access to taste of you further. However, you noticed that the sweet taste that soiled the urges within you became a bit bitter in time, realizing there was still so much that barred you from allowing you to wed him instead of your betrothed. Brow furrowing in concern, you pulled reluctantly once more from the kiss in a way that made Ignis halt in his actions. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked with renewed concern, his fingers gracing your warm cheek. 

“I love you so much that it hurts, but…” Your words stung the tip of your tongue, weighing heavily on your lips once pleasured by him. “…I know the outcome will be the same.” 

“Y/N…” Ignis urged, not wanting you to bring that up again. 

“I don’t want to lose you, Ignis,” you confessed, hands upon his cheeks to steady his own concerns. “I want…I want to tell them that I love you, but I am scared that they will remove you from my side if I do.” 

“We will find a way,” Ignis affirmed, resting his forehead against yours. “I will find a means to be indirect in my asking for your hand when it deals with the King and Queen of Accord. Just…” His eyes closed, lower lip moving inward before he released it with a heavy sigh. “…do not give up on us with all we’ve been through.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fixed this chapter after I needed to make something clear. So it's an actual chapter now. lol

Time seemed to pass a lot quicker than you wanted it to. What felt like just days ago with nursing and helping your newborn with everything turned to the child suddenly trying his best to walk on his own, speaking a few broken phrases, and Ignitus trying to feed himself with yours or Ignis’ help in just over a year. You always thought mothers were overreacting when they said ‘they grow up so fast’ but watching a helpless infant suddenly become his own little person was shocking in how swiftly it went by. 

You were on the fence about trying to teach Ignitus to call Ignis  _daddy_. A child wouldn’t know any better if it slipped out in public and while some people would probably understand it as a mishap there could be others questioning why he’d call Ignis daddy to begin with and where it originated from. 

Obviously, it tore at Ignis’ heart when you had that conversation in private but all you could do was promise him that things could change in time.

In the meantime, Ignitus tried to call Ignis by his name though felt more inclined to try saying  _Iggy_  when he’d heard you say it now and again. Of course, to the infant trying to pronounce the title correctly was a bit of a challenge even in parroting mode and it sometimes sounded like Ignitus was saying  _icky_  instead of  _Iggy_. You couldn’t help but laugh when it happened the first few times, finding some relief when Ignis would do the same as he understood Ignitus wasn’t sure what he was saying that was so funny—he just knew it was easy to say and it made his mother and caretaker laugh. 

“One day he’ll get it right,” you assured Ignis as Ignitus was in his father’s arms watching a show through an app on his phone that caught the child’s interest. It was some kid’s app that had a few shows meant to entertain children and while your son and you hardly got much exposure to chocobos beyond them working, Ignitus became very interested in a children’s show that had a white chocobo named Boco as the lead. 

It was cute, kept him entertained, and Ignis didn’t seem to mind suffering through it himself now and again. Also, it made your advisor smile whenever Ignitus would randomly point to his father’s phone and just say  _Boco_  as a means to get the point across as to what he wanted. 

“I would hardly say I wish of him to grow up too fast,” Ignis confessed as he kissed the top of his son’s head as the young boy stayed in his arms to watch—nearly entranced—by the colorful images on his father’s device. “Speaking of which…I’m inclined to tell you of some family matters that will be upon me soon, Y/N.” 

There was awkward dread in his tone, prompting you to sit upright on the decorative loveseat in your room with rising anxiety. “What’s wrong? What is it?” 

“My father requires surgery on his damaged heart soon—.” The mere sentence alone struck a sort of worry in you that made Ignis respond in haste with a raise of his hand. “It’s not as fearful as all of that, my Lady. He’ll be alright. He has these sorts of surgeries to replace and check in on a few minor things done to keep him from suffering through any difficulties after the spiracorn attack.” He situated his son in his lap as he continued. “My mother will possibly require my assistance about the house, and I am sure my father would appreciate it if I watched his garden for him at the very least and helped cook since my mom isn’t exactly the best chef there is.” 

“Oh…” You looked away, closing the book that was in your possession that had lost its hold upon your attention. “So…you’ll be leaving soon then, right?” 

“In a week’s time and only for awhile till my father gets his strength back.” Ignis reached across from where he sat on the loveseat to hold your hand tightly as he could sense and see the upset in your mannerisms. “I’ll be gone for…a month at most I wager…” 

“A month—!” The comment was accidentally exclaimed, making you bite back your worry in the statement as you knew Ignis’ father’s wellbeing was far more important than your own personal fear being without Ignis for awhile and alone with only the maids and Ignitus to handle on your own. “Well, can’t I…” The words stalled, making you realize that you couldn’t ask Aurdis to be there and you couldn’t wish to travel with Ignis to Tenebrae. Not only would it look weird and raise a few articles you wouldn’t wish to read and be questioned about but Ignis would be taking care of so many people at once that it felt unfair and selfish to ask him to remain. 

Ignis quietly mouthed his sympathizes in the matter, reaching over to cup your chin and urge you to gaze at him as he too hated the idea, but it was unavoidable. “I’ll call you as often as I can, and if all else fails, I’ll text you.” 

Your eyes quickly darted to your son that was in his father’s embrace, your heart and stomach knotting up in unison and making you feel ill. “I should never be so selfish as to keep you all to myself,” you responded, letting your fingers rummage through his golden hair, “But what about Ignitus? I’ve never had to take care of him on my own…” 

Ignis’ fingers took attention to yours, bending them to his desires as he kissed the back of your hand when it was exposed to him in gracious need. “Since when have I ever helped you in raising our son beyond a few tasks here and there, Y/N? You’ve been a wonderful mother without much of my aid, and I am more than certain you’ll do fine for the time I am in Tenebrae.” His green eyes rolled to the side, however, knowing if you did require assistance there was the obvious to mention. “And there are the servants than can help you but…please…” Ignis paused, his sight demanding your focus. “…Do not call upon them unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Your advisor moved in, lowering his voice. “I do not trust them to do right by attempting to raise our son for us.” 

You nodded, feeling the same as he when it came to the women and men who worked underneath you both. “The feeling is mutual,” you muttered in return. Sighing out your worry, you let your cheek find rest upon his upper arm. “At least I can be spoiled with having you close by for a bit longer till you leave.” 

He moved the arm you were resting upon, bringing you in closer to relax upon his chest. “I apologize for the last minute warning, Y/N, but I’ve been busy and there was no time available to me to tell you earlier than this.” 

“You’ll come back and that’s all I need to know,” you whispered to Ignis with a smile, turning to entice a kiss from him with merely your eyes to hint at such a desire. Fingertips upon his cheek, you encouraged him closer to your lips before kissing him affectionately once more. 

The advisor moved into the kiss, closing his eyes as a subtle hum from his throat caught your attention. He only entertained the loving act for a moment till he felt the need to turn his attention to Ignitus who had fallen asleep in his arms. “I best get the little one down for a nap,” Ignis insisted, pulling from you hesitantly. He shut down the app before pocketing his phone and moving his son into his arms a bit more comfortably, heading to his crib there in the room. 

You stood to your feet to help him, grabbing one of the stuffed toys—a spiracorn from the fair sometime ago—that Ignitus loved holding onto the most. As Ignis took to tucking him in, you placed the toy within range of him to give your son something warm and comforting nearby. “Sleep well, sweetheart.” Your fingers lightly graced Ignitus’ cheek before pulling away to rest once again in the comfort of Ignis’ embrace. 

A kiss upon the side of your head caught your attention, causing you to turn and acknowledge Ignis being a bit more willing to do more with at least your son asleep. Lips enticing your own within a more sensual dance, you fell into the sweet taste that prompted your heart to beat in an erotic rhythm. Your body, your heart, your soul—it all was fully aware and just knew by now when Ignis wanted more of you. He wasn’t one for words unless he had to spare them in such a manner in private to entice you. He always felt his actions spoke louder than any lullaby of love he could sing to you. 

He parted shortly after, leaving a lingering want for more as you gasped in excitement at being allowed to breathe; only finding disappointment in swallowing the air around you in comparison to the taste of his love. Ignis had numbed you to his advances, his arm about the bend of your back to keep you upright as his lips again found their mark upon the exposed area of your chest. “If I could have the honor, Y/N, I would want nothing more but to express myself upon you at your will before I must depart for a lengthy time.” 

Eyes lidded, mind a haze of sensual thoughts that gleefully rhapsodized your heart, the words stuttered past your lips as your hold upon his upper arms tightened. “I-I would not want to go for weeks without your love, but…” You paused, eyes drifting to your sleeping son before motioning to the door. “…your room might be better.” 

“Of course,” Ignis confessed, moving with you to make the quiet and subtle transition to his room just next door. 

The both of you were cautious, keeping your eyes open for anything that might draw attention to something that was still a bit unheard of with you heading to Ignis’ room. It wouldn’t be seen as awkward if you were merely going there to ask for something but to walk hand in hand with him to a destination would again raise curious questions and foul rumors. 

The hallway seemingly clear of any prying eyes, you hastened to the safety of Ignis’ room where the four walls blanketed you in a form of otherworldly comfort. Your mind was in a demand to experience more as his mere words breathed like an everlasting tattoo of admiration upon your body, a form of tender caress you couldn’t live without. Lips finding his once more, you let your advisor cradle your cheek to keep you focused on him and him alone—only to have the experience come to a horrible halt when there was a knock at the door followed by a servant merely entering without much wait. 

“Pardon me, Ignis, but I was curious—!” 

You both pulled from one another, fixing your attire and trying to look as though you were merely discussing something of personal matters only to see in the servant’s eyes that she had perhaps seen more than you wanted her. Her blue-eyes remained affixed on the situation before her, perhaps wondering if she had been seeing things. 

“What is it, Tameria?” Ignis asked, hoping to break the awkward gawking and make the woman pretend as though she saw nothing. 

“I-uh—it…!” She shook her head, hand to her forehead as if to block out the blasphemy as it seemed to affect her in some manner. “—It’s nothing! Pardon my intrusion, Ignis—my Lady!” The servant was quick to bow and excuse herself from the scene, leaving all of the poetic advances from prior to be swallowed up in the hungry maw of absolute terror. 

You bit at your lower lip, turning to Ignis with a shake of your head. “What are we going to do! She saw us!” you exclaimed in a heated whisper. 

Ignis turned to you, trying to sooth you with a gentle rub of your upper arms. “We do not know that.” 

With fervor, you shook your head as tears pricked at your eyes. “What do you mean we don’t know that—of course we do! She was acting like she walked in on us unclothed! The stuttering alone should tell you that she at least saw us kissing like lovers!” You turned from Ignis, embracing yourself as you weren’t sure what to do now as there was no guarantee the rumors wouldn’t spread. In the moment, you hadn’t noticed Ignis reached out for you to try and shepherd you back to his embrace. “What now…?” 

In desperation, your advisor grabbed for your wrist to pull you back towards him no matter the uncomfortable situation that dared to bring you to your knees. “Servants gossip all the time and there is no credence to her words beyond hearsay.” Daring to look away, Ignis’ fingertips ushered your sight to him once more. “This world can damn me for loving you, Lady Y/N, but it won’t stop me from doing so.” 

The tears streamed down your cheeks, leaving them to be brushed away by Ignis’ gentle touch. “But I do not want something horrible to befall you…!” The mere thought alone began to plague you till you found some form of solace in his embrace no matter how forbidden it was. “I don’t want you to ever leave me—leave  ** _Eos_**  all because of my mistakes…” It was always a worry…it was always a threat having such a forbidden romance there under the roof of many prying eyes and ears.

——–

After the scare, no words seemed to surface from your parents or anything from the servants either. Even if the one who accidentally walked in on you both gave awkward glances now and again, you were both able to dismiss it; especially with Ignis ordering her firmly to get back to work. Regardless, it made you very rigid in the idea of allowing anything beyond a gentle kiss here and there in private between you and Ignis. 

Soon the day was upon you that Ignis would be leaving for Tenebrae to aid his parents. You helped Ignis get his belongings together best you were able with Ignitus being nearby so the boy would have a chance to say goodbye to his father. 

“Do you have his teething ring?” Ignis asked, sorting through his clothing to get everything folded properly in his suitcase. 

“Yes, it’s in my room on the nightstand.” You paused, hoping that was right as now you were beginning to second guess yourself. 

Ignis chuckled to himself, perhaps hearing your underlining uncertainty to the question. “His pacifier?” 

“Umm…I’m sure it’s in the bathroom.” You had to confess to yourself you hadn’t seen it recently now that you thought about it, not since last night anyways. 

“Check the lavatory should you require it,” Ignis responded, being aware of the time on his watch before closing his suitcase. “If it isn’t in the medicine closet I am certain it is in the moogle container a citizen was kind to gift you upon Ignitus’ birth.” 

You took notice of the one suitcase making you raise a brow at how often Ignis changed clothing. “That’s it? You’ll be gone for a month…shouldn’t you have more clothes and underwear or something?” 

Another laugh surfaced from the usually firm and focused Ignis. “My mother keeps a fully stocked closet for me to come home to most times. Whenever I visit she usually tends to my wardrobe, believing she knows what’s best for me in terms of clothing.” 

You brought Ignitus into your arms from where he was staying behind the playpen in Ignis’ room. “Shouldn’t your mother have faith her 23-year-old son knows how to dress himself?” 

A small sarcastic quip escaped him. “Mothers and mothering types normally know best,” he spoke with a knowing wink. “However, she does it with goodwill in her heart. She doesn’t wish for me to travel heavy back and forth when most times I merely stay a week. I do have to transition from here, to a carriage, to a ship, and then a train, and then a car and then home. It is quite burdensome with too much.” 

“As long as you’re going to be fine.” You frowned, hating the idea he was going to be gone for so long. “I do hope your father will be alright too.” 

He heard the heaviness in your words, turning to you as he took your free hand within his own. “The time will pass mercifully, Y/N, I assure you.” The leather underside of the gloves he wore touched you sweetly, his thumb intimately caressing the back of your hand. “May I request a more intimate farewell from you here, love?” 

While you were hesitant you knew the regret of not at least kissing him goodbye would devour you in the coming weeks. Standing on the tips of your toes you kissed him, allowing it to linger for a moment before bringing him into a partial hug as you had your son in your arms. “I love you, Ignis,” you expressed softly so the walls would not hear, nuzzling into his chest as his own hug tightened around you both. 

“And I love you, Y/N.” The words were breathed lovingly within your ear, heavy with meaning. 

Ignitus reached over to gently tug on the hair nearest his reach that belonged to Ignis only to have the man react quickly as he was used to his own son’s tugging habits of interest. All Ignitus had to do was look in his father’s eyes and began to smile a small, toothy smile with his hands outstretched in want to be in Ignis’ arms. 

Ignis took his son into his embrace next, kissing his cheek to witness as the boy giggled and smiled. “Are you going to behave yourself while I am gone, sweetheart?” All Ignitus did was laugh, not sure of what was truly happening given his age. Ignis moved him closer to his chest as he rocked in place knowing it would be awhile till he got to hold his own son. “I love you so much, Ignitus—don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.” 

“Icky,” Ignitus murmured, trying again to grab at Ignis’ hair as he seemed allured by the style in which your advisor chose to wear it in. 

Ignis laughed quietly as you stifled your own. He grabbed tenderly onto Ignitus’ prying hands to stop them from trying to mess up his hair before kissing his grasping hand and then his son’s cheek again. “I promise I’ll be back, baby boy.” He handed your son back to you, running his fingers through the young boy’s blond strands. “There are some snacks in a plastic bag in the kitchen that I already made the night before.” Ignis scooped down to grab the handle of his suitcase, heading for the door. “I am sure you can handle his meals just fine. A lot of what I had purchased at the stores earlier is pretty much premade, so you shouldn’t have any trouble, Y/N.” 

It may have sounded to anybody else he was being a bit over sightful in regards to his staying in Tenebrae and fearing you wouldn’t be able to handle much on your own, but if you were to be honest…all meals were cooked for you so there was little to no knowledge you had on how to make your own breakfast, lunch, and dinner without help. “I’ll be alright, and if I need any help, I know who to call.” 

You were willing to see him through to the docks at least, taking to the chocobo drawn carriage with him and your son to prepare for him to disembark on the nine o’clock ship heading to Niflheim. It was still upsetting and there wasn’t much you felt you could say to him even in the privacy of the carriage. 

“I nearly forgot.” His voice beckoned to you from where he sat upon the white, leather seats of the carriage. Ignis dug into his inner coat pocket to pull out an envelope addressed to you. “Read it after I am gone for it is…far too personal for you to read it before me.” 

You blinked in confusion, holding it close to your chest even if Ignitus tried to put his little hands on it in intrigue. There wasn’t much more he added to the letter given to you, so you placed it in secret within your bag that you carried with you whenever you left the palace on rare occasions. 

The sea breeze was always inviting, even if early in the morning when you wished you could be sleeping. With prying eyes all about you knew you had to be careful in what you said and did about your advisor. “Please, take care of yourself, Iggy,” you spoke quietly, situating Ignitus in your arms. Your son reached out to Ignis, not quite sure what was happening. Smiling, you took his hand and helped Ignitus with waving goodbye. “Can you say ‘bye’?” 

“Buh buh,” Ignitus spoke as he often said that over goodnight at times whenever he was put down for a nap. 

Ignis bowed, smiling at the departure before he took his leave to head onward to Niflheim. 

You stayed till the ship was out of view just through the entryway of Altissia. Watching it leave was the hardest thing you ever had to endure in awhile. Ignis did go away now and again to visit his family but in the past few years or so you could hardly say you were on good terms when he did, and when you were close…well…it wasn’t nearly this heartbreaking and heavy for you. You knew he’d be back—it was something you had to keep reminding yourself of. 

Ignitus was put down for a nap later on in the day, leaving you alone with only the radio, a book, or your own personal projects to reflect on in private. However, as you sat down to ponder on what to do it was there your sights met with the icy star as well as the letter Ignis had addressed to you. Tilting your head at what could possibly be so important in the envelope, you reached across the bed you were sitting on to pull it into your possession, broke the seal, and then began to read it.

_My dearest Y/N,_

_There are so many things I wish I could say in the privacy of this letter—so many things I wish I could do, but even as you are after the last accidental intrusion, I do find myself scared to press the matter even in a written form as I wish not the haunting image of your fretful glance to still my heart. But I must confess my body aches for your touch to the point I’ve fabricated what it must feel like against my skin as it has become almost a memory yet again._

_In the waters I’ve tried to wash away my sins of such thoughts that should not be exciting and erecting my desires for you even if in private, but in this harsh fantasy I am a mere flower grown in the shadows of the icy chill of neglect and starvation, pondering and thirsting for your love; it is the only thing to keep me alive, hoping again to feel it beyond this cloth of desire._

_A meager barrier keeps us apart, status as invisible as it is, prevents me from speaking the truth to his Grace of how I wish to be the one to be beside you—not in a fit of power or to rule beside you but to selfishly quell the ever so yearning need of your love and to hear you say you adore me equally in return._

_I want my arms to embrace you yet again, my palm to feel the rhythmic melody of your heart as it urges me to do more…my breath to leave an everlasting mark upon your skin as it imprints and entices your soul to find solace in my comforting advances. Does your body and heart quiver for mine as I do in turn for yours? Y/N, I would do everything in my honest strength to do right by tending to you—gardening your hopes, dreams, and showing you the love that you so rightly deserve beyond preordained._

_Consider me selfish but I’ll gladly bow to any request you so ask of me not out of servitude of some advisor to his Lady but as a man who wishes to love and serve the woman he has fallen for in his mission to guide her._

_Let the ribbon unravel, Y/N, and unfurl to my admiration that quivers my hand as I even so boldly write such sentiments—out of line of my status—to someone I cannot live without._

_I wish to whisper in your ear once more to tell you time and time again, Y/N, that you are loved and wanted by me._

_Forever yours,_

_Ignis Scientia_

 

Folding the paper slowly, you laid it to rest against your chest as you let the words excite your rapidly beating heart. You loved him too—that was never put into question after his bold chasing of your fairy tale dream—you just worried what could and would happen to him if your parents ever found out. You wanted it to all work out more than anything but a part of you had this nagging suspicion that it might not and you didn’t wish to put Ignis’ life on the line for something you too wanted.

 

You knew that it would be at least four or so days till Ignis arrived in Tenebrae but that didn’t stop him from sending you a text later that evening after you had put Ignitus down for bed. Hearing your phone vibrate softly on the nightstand, you ignored your book and unlocked the screen to see the message waiting for you. 

 **Ignis (7:14 PM)** : Did dinner go over well? 

Instead of texting him back, you merely called him as you preferred a more intimate conversation as the words he had written were still beating feverishly in your mind and soul. 

“It went just well,” you said upon hearing Ignis answering his phone. “He ate a few berries, spinach, and some potatoes since your personal goal to turn our child into a health fanatic is slowly working.” 

Ignis laughed softly over the line. “When he grows up healthy and happy you will thank me, darling.” 

You rolled your eyes playfully at the thought, hearing as a bed of some sort moaned when Ignis seemed to move on the stiff sounding mattress. “Still on the boat, hu?” 

“Sadly so. I won’t reach dry land for maybe two or so days depending how fast this ship can be. So far it seems to run rather unhurriedly.” 

“I’ve never been on a ship even living here in Altissia,” you confessed even if you were sure Ignis already knew that given how frequently he monitored your life. “I’ve always wondered what they’re like in comparison to the gondolas.” 

“Far roomier I will confess,” said Ignis as he got comfortable on the other line, hoping to go to bed a bit earlier as Tenebrae had a four hour jump ahead in comparison to Altissia’s time. “You get your own room that is just a smaller bedroom than we’re used to, a nice dining hall, small shopping area, and a place above and below deck for actives.” 

You smiled, rocking idly on the bed. “Sounds really nice.” Your words paused as you fondled with the covers just underneath you a bit. “I read your letter, by the way.” 

Ignis went quiet. “Oh?” 

The mere dread in that word alone made you stifle a laugh. “It’s nothing bad, Iggy, I just…” You opened your mouth to speak but your throat felt dry as talking about it always made you nauseous. “I just don’t want you to get hurt…” 

He spoke quietly. “I would die for you, Y/N; especially if it meant having your love if even only for a moment till fate or laws tried to rip me away.” 

“Please don’t,” you begged, biting at your lower lip when he confessed such a thing. “I can handle you being mad at me but I cannot manage the thought of you being dead…gone from my life completely…” 

“Y/N, I want to love you,” Ignis continued a bit more firmly. “That boy is ours and when I hold him or look into his eyes I just know everything will be alright. He was a gift to us from the gods, and they would not give him to us without reason.” 

You sighed, rubbing your forehead as gods felt to you like they didn’t truly keep an eye on all their children—just the ones that were convenient to them. “You speak as though you’re sure.” 

Again, your advisor was silent as he shifted about on the bed he was trying to find comfort on. “What do you see when you look at our son that we made together?” 

On instinct of the question, you turned and looked at the crib you could just see at the foot of your bed. “Every time I look at him all I see is you staring back at me,” you confessed with a smile. “Even as young as he is, I can see you very much in him. I do want to believe things will work out; especially for one as young and innocent as him. He deserves to know you’re his father.” You shook your head best you were able of the doubtful voices attempting to plague you. “Know that I love you, Ignis…I love you with all my heart, and I would do anything for you as well, but in confessing that aloud I could lose you.” 

“Do not believe such a cruel thing will occur,” Ignis pleaded. “Have faith in us, Y/N. if I were there I’d hold you in my arms right now and sooth you with the thoughts everything will be alright.” 

You smiled at the pleasant idea. “I wish I could feel your warmth right now, Ignis. I hate you’re going to be gone so long, but I will be here waiting for you. I’ll send you pictures of Ignitus and me through the weeks.” 

Ignis chuckled softly. “I will send you pictures from home, my dear. I love you both so much. I’m afraid I have to try and go to sleep now as I don’t wish to be lethargic and needing rest when I get home given the differences in time.” 

“I understand.” You cradled the phone closer to your lips as you wished you could kiss him goodnight. “Goodnight, Ignis. We love you very much.” 

“I will continue to be your strength, Princess, even overseas. I love you both dearly. Please, give Ignitus a hug and a kiss for me in the morning.” 

“Of course—night, night,” you whispered as a final say in the conversation, hanging up the phone. Shortly after, however, you heard it buzz from a text to which you looked down to see a star emoji merely lying in wait for you to see sent from Ignis. “You are the only man to truly take my interest so close to heart, Ignis.” Your eyes turned to the ice star yet again there upon your nightstand. It remained as pristine and perfect as the day it was made. Maybe the star could be some form of beacon of hope that some things could remain eternally beautiful in the worst of situations even if it seemed impossible given the circumstances.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I fixed chapter 7, so those that did not read that may need to go back and do so in order for this one to make sense. <3
> 
> Also, I got a brand new computer, so I was sadly in 'down time' trying to get that put together, so everything was put on the back burner till then. Finally got things situated and got adjusted to my new keyboard. It’s…vastly different from my old one, so I kept struggling with getting my bearings right on it when typing. I’ll be trying to power dive through this story as I can as I cycle through my commissions since the Noctis’ runaway story was commissioned. <3 So, gives me more of a reason to get there faster. C: Much Love, and thanks for being patient.

Ignitus kept your attention when Ignis was away visiting and helping his parents in Tenebrae. You looked forward to talking to him some nights when he was free to do so and wasn’t too exhausted from the day to spend time with you. When Ignis found his energy spent he usually just sent a text the following morning or early in the evening given the differences in time between Altissia and Tenebrae to merely give you kind messages to enjoy before either of you could interface again.

He had sent a few pictures of his family and the cat Cinnamon who would curl up and laze about in Ignis’ lap whenever the man wasn’t mobile and just watching television with his recovering father. He took a few about Tenebrae as well making you envious as you wished you could venture to this other part of Eos with him as it looked quite charming.

As Ignitus was enjoying some of his toys and learning his shapes and colors just from the educational ones he had, you took some pictures of his enjoyment as well as captured small videos to send to Ignis for whenever he was free to look at them.

 When Ignitus got fussy lately he seemed to really get a bit of a temper in the matter, making you curious what was wrong with him. Part of you blamed it on the teething but he had never been so difficult before when it dealt with such a thing, so you weren’t sure what the culprit could be beyond perhaps him missing Ignis who he hadn’t seen in two weeks now.

“Shhh,” you whispered to him one afternoon, rocking your son in your arms to try and calm his cries, which tugged at your heart. “It’ll be alright, sweetheart.” Cradling the back of his head, you kissed his forehead with a relieved sigh as you heard Ignitus losing the strength overtime to be as motivated in his sobs. It was time for him to nap, so you knew he would wear himself out eventually.

Silence.

You heard a small whimper here and there but you could tell Ignitus was done with his passionate upset. You could only imagine his frustration in not being able to properly explain what was wrong only making you wish you could understand his needs just a little bit better beyond the norm of his routine.

Careful and quiet you lowered him to his crib to put him to sleep for the early afternoon before lying down on your own bed with a sigh of relief in the peace that surrounded you.

Just as you had started to close your eyes you heard your phone vibrating on the nearby nightstand. There was only one person you knew of that would be texting you. Grabbing your phone you were bombarded with a few photos from Tenebrae again. You smiled, thumbing through them as they were mostly of the palace from the outside. There was one that made you curious as you noticed a woman was kind of in the shot that you didn’t recognize—someone with ash blond hair that looked silver given the lighting. It was stylized in an upward ponytail and she appeared to be wearing armor but the photo was taken from the back of her head and stopped at the middle of her back as though she wasn’t expecting it. The armor was interesting and draconic in design, a type you hadn’t seen much before.

 ** **Y/N (2:14 PM)**** : Who is the warrior woman?

 ** **Ignis (2:16 PM)**** : Aranea Highwind. She was unaware of me taking the photo and accidentally leaned into it.

You blinked at him placing her by first and last name, trying not to seem or sound jealous when responding.

 ** **Y/N (2:18 PM)**** : Oh, nice. She an old friend or something?

 ** **Ignis (2:23 PM)**** : She serves the Lady of Tenebrae and thus, knows my family and me. I’ve had the honor of learning under her now and again whenever I’d return home as she’s quite skilled with her lance in comparison to my own skills in battle with my spear.

 ** **Y/N (2:26 PM)**** : Her armor looks pretty cool. I’ve never seen anything like it. Are you guys hanging out?

You were being honest, but the idea that this Aranea got to spend time with Ignis instead of you was a bit disheartening and making you realize how lonely you felt without him.

 ** **Ignis (2:32 PM)**** : She’s a dragoon. There aren’t many about in Eos these days, so I’d be shocked if you had, my Lady, and to a small degree, yes, we are in company of one another. She’s on duty as of current, and I just happened to stop by and see her.

A frown settled in upon you as you couldn’t handle the idea of being without him as it were. Knowing other people got the pleasure of seeing him day in and day out was making you weirdly jealous, but you did your best to stifle the complaint knowing it would sound and seem selfish given the reason as to why Ignis had to retreat to Tenebrae for a spell.

 ** **Y/N (2:38 PM)**** : I really miss you…I wish you were home. I’m sorry if that sounds awful of me.

You expected him to send a calming text in response but instead found your phone buzzing with an incoming call. Sighing to yourself you answered the call as you really didn’t mean to say such a thing to arouse his concern. “I’m sorry,” you apologized quickly, cringing at replaying that message you sent again and again in your mind. “You have enough to worry about as is.”

“You are justified in feeling lonely, Lady Y/N,” Ignis’ voice reminded you over the line. “Quite frankly, I’d be a bit worried if you didn’t care if I were gone for this long.”

You found some comfort in his words, smiling to yourself as you tried to get comfortable on your bed. “How is your father?”

“Same as always,” Ignis responded with a gentle laugh. “He’s still resting up. The surgery went well so there are no complications from what I or the doctors can tell.” He appeared to be walking, making you take note of the slight hurried and laborious sound to his words as he went onward. “He has a few painful bouts here and there during the night, but my mother and I tend to them when able, and he has his medicine nearby. How are you and Ignitus doing?”

Your fingers curled upon the covers of the bed as you nasally sighed in regards to your loneliness. “We both miss you—terribly. Ignitus has been far more fussy than usual, and I think it is because he knows something is off. He knows you’re not here.”

Ignis awed in concern over the line. “Where is he currently?”

Leaning over a bit, you made sure that he was at least napping after his upset earlier in the day. “He’s taking a nap.”

“He’s at least eating and sleeping well?” Ignis probed, the sound of his voice near your ear oddly calming in the moment.

“Oh yes, he gets cranky a lot lately, but he still knows when to settle down to sleep and when to eat at least.” Inwardly, you counted your blessings when it came to that. “I should probably lie down myself and nap while I can.” A smile spread across your lips as you pondered what to do in regards to still staying in touch with Ignis beyond texting and phone calls. “I’ll, umm…send you some pictures myself later tonight.”

You could practically hear his smile over the phone. “I’ll be enthused to receive them, my Lady. I will speak with you later, my dear. I love you.”

“And we love you, Iggy,” you whispered in response, cradling the phone close as if worried the words could escape from the privacy of your conversation.

You were able to grab what sleep you could until the sounds of your son woke you. Ignitus was intent to stand and grab at the bars of his crib, trying to cry out for you as you slept nearby. It prompted you to your feet as swiftly as possible.

The day remained uneventful. Ignitus didn’t appear nearly as impossible to get to eat much to your relief and he played and enjoyed himself with a smile on his face.

While Ignis was gone in Tenebrae, you did everything you could to get Ignitus to continue walking to try and encourage him to walk nearly on his own. “Come on, baby,” you spoke sweetly, holding onto his hands to escort him across the playroom to monitor his progress. “When Iggy gets home he’ll be greeted with a nice surprise, yeah?”

Ignitus smiled a toothy smile as he kept a gentle hold onto your hand, waddling forward to the best of his ability before falling down on his rear intentionally as he found his stopping point with the blocks and other toys he had been showered with either by Ignis himself, you, or the citizens.

He was progressing, and you inwardly hoped it would be met with rewards as you did want Ignitus to walk to his father the moment Ignis returned home.

When evening arrived, Ignitus went down to sleep as you yourself thought about what to show Ignis picture wise later on in the nighttime hours. The day had escaped you and while you usually were taking as many pictures of Ignitus as possible to send to Ignis you kind of wanted to send something else…something a bit more personal.

Tapping your fingers nervously against your phone, you pondered the idea until your nerves finally relaxed and you found the courage to do so. Lying down on your bed you positioned yourself to try and make it as artistic as possible before sliding the slender slip of your nightgown out of your way to expose just enough of yourself to be enticing but not too obvious in the moment. If you made one false move the rest could easily slide down and expose you further but just the tempting image alone could possibly do for now.

Taking one swiftly you got a small rush to take another for good measure as you bowed your arm under your breasts to cradle them and give them a more defined look without a bra to conceal them.

With the pictures taken, you quickly sent them without a message to Ignis. Honestly, you lacked words and weren’t even sure what to say to begin with in regards to one. Your heart beating rapidly, you could only hope that he wouldn’t mind something as sensual as that given the distance and what the both of you were trying to conceal at current.

It was late for him, so you were sure he wouldn’t receive them right away. For all you knew he could be asleep but just as you were about to put the phone away for the evening for yourself, you got a response message rather fast.

 ** **Ignis (9:34 PM)**** : For me…? Are you certain you want to give me these?

You laughed to yourself, calling him quickly since he appeared to be awake. “Do you not want them?” you asked in a teasing manner, lounging on the covers of the bed. “And shouldn’t you be asleep? It’s one in the morning there, isn’t it?”

“Indeed,” answered Ignis, clearing his throat to try and remain professional in the matter it seemed. “However, consider it a habit. When I receive a message I am primed and ready to answer it as I worry it is of stressful matters from our Lady of Altissia. As for the photographs…I found them quite alluring, really.”

“I am glad.” All anxiousness eased out of you at his confession. “I would gladly take and do more but I wanted to see how you liked these first.”

“They are exquisite,” he breathed the word as though it were lustful in origin, enticing to him. “And you needn’t do more if you do not wish to.”

You smiled, hiding the laugh in your throat as you cradled the phone there against your cheek and shoulder. “Well, I caught in your letter that you think of me, so I guess I was able to put two and two together in regards to what you do in private now in a sexual manner.” Ignis seemed to stutter, losing his words at your honesty. “Hide it behind poetic walls all you want to, Ignis, but I know you.”

“Not…offended, are you?” He was hesitant to speak of it. “I can easily withhold such lustful thoughts to when I can actually hold and love you than beyond my own fantasy if it appalls you. I wouldn’t want to do anything against your wishes or comfort.”

Your fingers began to fondle with the nightgown you were always forced to ware being of royalty. “I am not appalled. I guess given all we’ve been through I’d be worried if you were thinking of someone else.”

“To be honest, my dear…I’ve been thinking of you long before you even allowed me the honor to explore your body, if I am to be forthright about it all.” He sounded nervous to express such a confession, making you frown in concern for him as it seemed Ignis felt like he was doing things against your wishes and acted like a guilty child for doing so.

“Well, I guess you got your wish in the end,” you said with a lighthearted chuckle at the end to try and ease the tension from him.

“You’re not cross with me?”

“Of course not,” you soothed gently. “What you were doing is harmless, and knowing the media and some fanboys I have, I am sure there’s more than just you who does these things.” Again, your eyes turned to the star nearby on the nightstand that still did its best to shine in the lightless room. “Besides…you were the only man to show interest in what I loved and fought for my attention. You’re a loving and giving man, Ignis…don’t think otherwise just because you act on human impulses.”

“Lady Y/N…I am far from worthy of your love and acceptance in a lot of things,” Ignis confessed, his comforting tone quiet and melodically giving a gracing ring to your ear over the line. “I can hardly say it enough in how much I love you.”

“You should be sleeping,” you whispered as a reminder. “Enjoy the pictures and have a good night.”

“I—uh…yes…” Ignis sounded like he wanted to say or do more but you were right. The hour was late for him and he had best get to sleep or he wouldn’t function at all in the morning. “Goodnight, Y/N. Give Ignitus my love and know that you both are in my heart.”

“As you are in ours. Night, Iggy.” As Ignis hung up the phone, you smiled to yourself before placing the device off on the nearby nightstand and getting under the covers to sleep yourself as it had been a long day for you too.

——————–

Ignitus was nearly impossible to control a week later. He was always looking around for Ignis you assumed and when it was only you and a maid or two to come and aid him in bathing, feeding, and the like in daily activities he was beginning to worry that Ignis was never coming back.

“Oh, baby—shhh,” you soothed in the dining room trying to get him to eat something simple for lunch but the infant just wasn’t going to bother as he was too distressed to try.

One of the servants tending in Ignis’ place with getting the meals ready for you as you tended to your child was nearby. She was a slender woman with long, black hair she kept tied in a bun with icy blue eyes that felt chilling to even gaze upon. “Whatever is the matter with him?” Her tone was hard, annoyed—it made you upset just hearing it but your concern was more on your baby than what she had to say.

“He just misses Ignis, that’s all,” you answered in haste, trying to dry Ignitus’ teary eyes with a loving hum and kiss to his forehead. “It’s hard to tell a baby that someone they care for is only going to be gone for a little bit.”

“You’d think with how much he carries on he sees Ignis as his dad,” the woman spat almost maliciously, making your blood run cold and your eyes turn to greet hers only to be met with a sort of frighteningly knowing look. “Does his Highness of Niflheim get the same sort of treatment from his own son?”

“Anduin is fighting for his people,” you spoke in the defense of a young boy who didn’t know who his father truly was at current. “He barely has the time he wants or needs to spend with his son…”

Skylar seemed to smirk, keeping her hands busy with the task at hand in fixing the lunch for the day. “Really? Some are questioning if that truly is Prince Anduin’s son given how attached Ignis acts to Ignitus and vise versa. From the outside looking in, you’d think Ignis was the father.”

Hearing her make such a bold claim you found your mouth hanging open in shock and worry as you knew the last servant walked in on you and Ignis together. Now you were beginning to wonder if she had started to gossip about the palace.

“Granted,” she continued with a fake laugh, waving away the thought, “they are just rumors.” The wicked grin still seemed to cling to her features like a nasty habit as she wiped her hands on the nearby wet cloth. “I wouldn’t let them frighten you too much, Lady Y/N.”

You stilled your tongue, keeping your focus on your son before realizing that trying to settle him as it was would do little good. Getting Ignitus into your arms after removing the bib from him, you left what was to remain there upon the baby chair’s tray. “Thank you for the food, Skylar, but I need to handle Ignitus,” you spoke in haste as an excuse to escape the uncomfortable situation.

In your hasten walk you tried to be cautious as Ignitus was able to eat a little bit and you didn’t want to upset his stomach in your rushed actions. Shushing him tenderly on the way back to your room, you shut and locked the door with your back against it as you reflected in worry of what could possibly happen to Ignis if such horrible rumors reached your parent’s ears. In the worry that nearly consumed you you did everything to try and settle yourself as though Ignis were there urging you to be calm.

“It’ll be…alright…Everything will be fine,” you insisted softly, cradling the back of Ignitus’ head as you tried to mend his upset as you could sense he was getting a bit more tired.

Your son still did his best to try and push away food later on for dinner but Ignitus did at least eat enough to have you be satisfied for the day. He went to bed earlier than you anticipated given how upset he had made himself through the long hours.

Much to your dismay, Ignis seemed to not find a moment to speak with you, leaving you feeling awfully isolated and alone. Even if your son was someone you could hug and love in Ignis’ absence, it wasn’t exactly someone you could unload your burdens onto. Emotionally and physically exhausted yourself, you too went to bed quite early only to be woken by the distressful sound of Ignitus during the evening hours before midnight.

“Ignitus,” you sighed softly, pulling the covers from your body and moving to his crib to pluck the child tenderly from where he was crying. Situating him in your arms, you shushed him again with a rocking motion in hopes to calm him but his cries merely worsened. “Come on, baby…What is wrong?”

You knew what was wrong, but you dared not think about it. How could you get a baby to understand that someone they loved was merely missing in action for a little bit and would return? Saying it time and time again did nothing.

Your fingers feverishly dug for your phone, pulling it out and to view as you debated on getting Ignis on the line in a phone video chat. However, it was just past eleven at night your time and you knew that meant it was just past three in the morning over there in Tenebrae. Biting at your lower lip, you knew there wasn’t much of an option you had and so you quickly called Ignis.

“Pick up, pick up,” you pleaded to yourself as you still tried to comfort your son.

“Hello?” Ignis’ voice was very groggy, obviously having been woken up from a deep sleep.

“Ignis—thank goodness!” you said with relief as you rocked your baby in your arms.

“…Y/N…? What’s the matter?” Ignis seemed to shuffle about in the bed as you could just hear the creaks and the moans of the frame.

“It’s Ignitus…I know he misses you, and he doesn’t understand that you’re just away for a bit, so I was curious—are you decent right now?” You gently tapped upon Ignitus’ back to try and sooth him while he continued to cry.

“Decent?” Ignis quoted in confusion, a bit disoriented given the hour no doubt. “Princess, do you know how cold it gets during the winter nights over here?”

You ignored his playful comment. “Can you do a video call with me real fast? I want to show Ignitus you’re very much around. I think if he sees and talks to you he’ll calm down.” It was a long shot but it was the only idea you had.

“Give me a moment to find my glasses…” Ignis insisted, stifling a yawn as you heard him shuffling about to do so. “Alright, my dear—I am ready.”

Hitting a few quick buttons on an app you and Ignis both had an account on, you were able to see Ignis visually on the other line. It took a moment for the picture to load in as the room he was sleeping in was dark. When Ignis saw the problem himself he reached over to turn the nearby lamp on to give more light to the room. He was wearing a long-sleeve, button up shirt that was gray in color with his hair very much a mess and falling down about his features given the hour.

“Baby, look,” you whispered, kissing Ignitus’ tear stained cheek before nuzzling him in the direction of the phone that you held. “Look, it’s Iggy.”

Ignitus paused in his crying, looking at Ignis but not recognizing him right away as his hair looked different. “Mmma…?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” Ignis spoke, wiping the sleep from his eyes just from under his glasses. “Are you doing alright?”

Ignitus still appeared stunned as he kept staring at the video that showed Ignis on the other side. “See? It’s Iggy—he just has his hair down.” Upon you mentioning his hair was probably different and confusing for one so young that had rarely seen him like this, Ignis moved the flat of his hand against his forehead to push back the dirty blond strands to give a bit of a more honest look to his appearance had he been awake.

Seeing the connection now, Ignitus grabbed onto the phone that you were sure to keep a tight grasp on so he couldn’t accidentally destroy or break it, silencing his wailing for a bit more. His little fingers touched the screen as Ignis waved to his son. “Daddy…” Ignitus slipped making your heart squeeze in breathless fear as Ignis seemed to wrinkle his brow at the title he hadn’t heard himself.

Given the encounter with Skylar earlier you were unsure of whether to encourage or stop it right where it was starting. “S-See, Ignitus? Iggy is okay—he’s still around. He’ll be back, yeah?”

“Ignitus, I’ll be home soon,” Ignis soothed over the line. “I’m just away for a little. I love you and mommy very much.”

Moving Ignitus into a more comfortable position in your arms, you began to rock him gently to see if him seeing and hearing Ignis over the phone while you both spoke aloud would calm him down further into sleeping again. “You didn’t teach him to say that…did you?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, dear,” confessed Ignis with a more awoken sounding tone than before. “I am…I must confess, I am pleased to hear it even if it seems to frighten you.”

“Ignis, he cannot call you  _daddy_ ,” you stressed softly. “You know that will raise a lot of questions and will forbid you from going out in public with him.”

“But he is my son, Y/N,” Ignis reminded you gently, not wishing to escalate the conversation into an argument. “I intend to try and persuade his Majesty of letting me have your hand and telling him the truth in this.”

“Your vague commentary about anybody taking my hand about him have done nothing to persuade him, Ignis,” you reminded your advisor in a gentle tone.

Ignis raised his hand to calm you from the other line. “One thing at a time, Lady Y/N. I’ve not had the moment I’d like to speak a bit more properly with your father, the King.”

You bit your lower lip, debating if you should tell him the honest truth about what Skylar had said earlier in regards to the three of you. However, you knew even having Ignis comfort you would do little good in the situation. He would feel threatened in the matter, but what could either of you say or do in this situation? “Do you know when you’ll be back home…?”

Ignis situated himself in his bed, trying to get comfortable given the hour. “Next month, my Lady—possibly after the first week if all goes well.”

It was at least two weeks away. You supposed that was a positive way to look at it. Feeling Ignitus get comfortable in your arms to get prepared to sleep, you looked about the small frame that allowed you a view into Ignis’ bedroom. “Your room looks nice from what I can make out of it.”

Ignis’ brow wrinkled as he turned his phone to let you get a better view of it when you mentioned it. It was a simple, small room with a window at the foot of the bed that arched in a rather lovely design with off-white curtains covering them for the time being. Getting a good image of the foot of the bed you did notice Cinnamon was there, a bit awake given the sound and Ignis stirring to answer your call as the cat lazily peered in the direction of the phone. Near the window was a writing desk that had a laptop on it and a few books as well as a vase full of daisies from what you could make out in the dim lighting. A bookcase was placed to the right of it while dresser drawers seemed to be near the left. You assumed one of the nearby doors on the left or right of the room would open to a closet.

“Your father’s cat is with you?” you asked, rocking Ignitus in your arms to aid your son to sleep.

“Indeed,” answered Ignis as he turned the device’s camera back to him. “Cinnamon is notorious for jumping on my father’s chest or just resting there when she wants to eat or she believes he’s up for the day. Naturally, we cannot allow that to happen.” As if responding on cue, the cat meowed in the background, coming into view and landing perfectly on Ignis’ chest while looking at the phone. Ignis’ hand tried to calm the Maine Coon’s fur to get a better view of you. “As she has demonstrated here. C’mon, you…” he groaned, trying to move the cat singlehandedly off of his body. “You are always so spoiled for attention.”

You stifled a small laugh. “Sorry I woke you so early and your sleeping buddy.”

“The time matters not to me, Princess. I would gladly wake at any hour if I can talk to you and my son,” he confessed, rubbing the sleep further from his eyes to rouse further. He turned, perhaps catching the time on the nearby alarm clock he kept on his nightstand. “I’ll need to be up soon anyways to make breakfast, so I wouldn’t fret about it.”

In a way, you could tell he was lying just to ease your concerns. You appreciated it but still felt the twinge of guilt in the matter. “I should still try to get Ignitus to power down for the rest of the night.” Looking down at him, you noted that your son had indeed fallen asleep after getting a moment to hear and see his father on the other line. “Your voice alone I guess just calms him.”

“Mm,” hummed Ignis in thought, resting one of his arms behind his head on the pillow. “If that be the case I can send vocal recordings for you to ease him better.”

“Thanks,” you spoke with a smile. “But I guess even intimate exchanges like this help too.”

“Should I find the time, my Lady, I’ll be happy to indulge in such activities.”

“I do hope your day goes well, Iggy,” you whispered, kissing the top of your son’s head as you waved to him. “I’ll talk with you later.”

“Goodnight, Y/N. I love you both and will speak with you soon.”

And with that said, he ended the video call with you, allowing you to be in the darkness of the room once more with your son. It was always all the lonelier when the calls ended. It made your heart ache and wish that he were there beside you. Putting your phone off to the side once more you rocked with Ignitus in your arms for a bit longer, finding some reprieve from your solitude with just having him there in your embrace at least.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took awhile. Family drama always happens during holidays and political times.. x-x; It truly zapped me of all my energy or care to do anything for awhile.

 

It was such a blessing…in a few days, Ignis would return home and the three of you could be together once more. It felt like an eternity to you, waiting impatiently for him to finally come back to Altissia so you both could try once more to somehow convince your parents to push away the betrothal with Anduin. However, the desire still found its means to gnaw at you with anxiety to the point you did find yourself wandering through the palace to locate your father at least and see if there was any means of which to talk to him _inadvertently_ about the situation. 

He was sitting with a few of the servants about, reading something in the morning paper that day when you happened by one of the lounging rooms. While he never minded being around your mother, he did seem to find most relaxing moments alone with servants to attend to him. It felt like the perfect time to approach. 

“Umm, father?” you beckoned, keeping your hands folded before your gown as you had been asked to hand your son over to the servants that beckoning call of the sun. It frustrated and frightened you to do so but it seemed to be some form of backward tradition where even the hired help was expected to take better care of your child than you were. 

The paper lowered ever slightly, and your father peered at you with interest. It was a sort of look you felt you hadn’t seen in years and just the sight of his weary eyes trying to place your image was upsetting in a sense. “Ah, Y/N,” he responded, motioning you closer to him. “The help I sent must have Ignitus, I am to assume?” 

There seemed to be more care for your child than for you in his tone, making you bite back the bitter resentment as your knuckles turned white from how tightly you clasped your hands. “Y-Yes, sir.” Your words were nearly whispered, all the same, you ventured closer. “He is merely being bathed at the moment and fed if he will allow it…” 

The paper wrinkled almost in a sort of tune befitting curious befuddlement. “Not eating well, is he? Is the boy sick?” 

Again, you appreciated the rise of concern in your father’s voice, but you felt your heart break that it seemed your own wellbeing wasn’t worthy of it in the past. “Oh, he just misses Ignis—that is all.” Grabbing onto the intricate gown you were forced to wear, you took your seat there in the nearby chair to become more comfortable in the moment. In the small gathering of servants nearby, you did make out the face of Skylar and the other that had accidentally walked in on you and Ignis before, Tameria. 

Tameria appeared anxious, keeping her head lowered at all times with her hands folded in a death like grip as if worried something might slip from her tongue as Skylar stayed her own and kept her vicious gaze on the scene. 

“That young boy seems to be getting far too attached to his keeper,” your father insisted, turning the page of the paper he was reading. “If he’s becoming so spoiled on Ignis’ affections, then it would be within your best interest to call his Highness of Niflheim and see to it he returns to his son before Ignitus sees Ignis as his father.” 

You swallowed back the urge to be honest, fingers fidgeting ever nervously. “Would it be so horrible that it were so?” You looked away quickly after asking such a thing, hearing the printed articles ever steadily fall to your father’s lap. “Ignis…Ignis has been there for us both a lot, and he still does his best to be a good parental figure to Ignitus when Prince Anduin is absent. Wouldn’t you want your grandson in the hands of someone you trusted…?” 

“Have my grandson consider a royal retainer his father and my daughter be common law to him as well…?” The sound of his tone made you flinch as it seemed to border on disgust at the thought. 

Skylar shifted from where she stood beside your father and as you turned to gaze in his direction, you witnessed her speak. “Pardon me, your Majesty,” she interjected with a bow of respect, “but I do recall there being a similar incident before with his Highness Lor’thamar of Tenebrae.” 

“Ah, **_that_** scandal,” your father responded, making you lower your head as though you had been scolded in that single phrase. 

“U-Umm, do forgive me for barging in,” Tameria spoke, rising ever slightly from her bowed position to join the conversation, “but I do believe it was his sister, Lady Amelia that position was in—.” 

“—With a female servant, no less,” Skylar interrupted firmly, seeming to stare down Tameria to the point the fellow helping hand retreated from the thought of adding more. 

“Not sure which is worse there,” your father expressed in disgust, making you wish you could hold your tongue in the matter but it was becoming quite difficult. 

Them talking of the current Queen of Tenebrae made you squirm in discomfort as you knew, during that scandalous time in history when she was younger, it was Ignis’ parents who were the hired help about her. Ignis never spoke of it but it wasn’t really something you felt the need to bring up given how young he was when he came to Altissia. 

“None of that really was exposed—it was all just hearsay in the papers,” you spoke in a desire to find your voice and footing in the conversation. “And even so, wouldn’t it have been in her best interest if it made her happy…?” 

“You cannot make an heir to the throne if you wed the same sex,” your father pointed out, finding that a horrible means to end a royal bloodline in his eyes. “And as it seems, Lady Amelia appears just fine and happy with her betrothal.” 

Puffing out your cheeks in annoyance, you felt yourself about to explode. “Well, what if it was a man she was interested in that was her advisor or something?” 

The paper crinkled further, removing from your father’s face fully at that point as his eyes remained affixed on you. You worried that in that question you revealed far too much in what you were alluding to. “Marry outside of her station?” your father questioned, seemingly flabbergasted by your suggestion of such a thing. “Since when has one of royal blood ever done such an unspeakable act?” 

None, now that you thought about it. You would become the first in history to do so if you dared do so…

“I can only imagine the uproar that would bring,” Skylar confessed as if to share in your father’s disgust in the mere thought. “Any prince or princess willing to marry outside of their station to a mere royal retainer or any hired help would cause who knows what in terms of chaos.” 

Losing your breath for a moment at the tides being against you, you quickly shot to your feet and did your best to excuse yourself from the talk at hand. “Umm, well, I should go check in on Ignitus,” you spoke in haste, not wishing for the conversation to continue onward as it felt like someone had taken their fist and rammed you hard in the gut to where you were near left breathless. “I thank you for your time, father.” With a quick bow, you made your escape from the room as the air was beginning to feel thinner. 

In that one instance, all felt hopeless. Ignis kept insisting it would all work out, but there was nothing… ** _nobody_** … who could possibly allow this to be feasible. What would your parents do? Would they punish him for using you to usher in his child in this world, one of only part royal blood? Would they banish him? Oh, the mere thought alone made you dizzy and you fell against the nearby wall just a step or two away from your bedroom door. 

Daemons could tear him apart on this island. He could starve, be murdered by bandits or those stricken with the Starscourge illness…living out the last of his days cold, lost, and alone with nowhere to go as all of Eos would damn him. 

All of it felt awful, but the worst of it still would be the idea he could be killed for his act, and as you managed to tear open the door to your bedroom, you accidentally shouted at the serving girls there tending to your son. 

“Get out! Please!” you demanded, wishing to be alone with your thoughts as you knew you couldn’t confide in any of them at the moment—you had to be alone with your son. 

The women looked frantically to one another before bowing in respect and taking their hasty leave from the room. Keeping your gown out of the way of your feet, you hurried over towards the play area there on the floor where Ignitus was staring at you curiously. Your words seemed to startle him but as you took to your knees beside him and brought him into your arms to hug and kiss him, you found he had relaxed (even if just grabbing at one of the nearby toys on the ground that he wished to play with). 

“It’ll be okay,” you whispered between you and your son. “The gods would not be so cruel as to separate us…would they?” 

As you continued through the day best you were able, you heard the ever gentle ringing of your phone just close to the moment you thought to put Ignitus down for a nap that afternoon. Pulling your attention to your phone, you cringed at seeing Ignis’ name as a mixture of emotions fell upon you. You wanted to answer and request ideas, but you also didn’t want to encourage Ignis into the thought of trying to ask for your hand. 

Teeth rolling over your lower lip, you answered regardless and tried to hide your concern on the matter. “Hey, Iggy,” you said with a forced smile on the other line. “Calling a bit early, aren’t you?” 

“I thought I would try to catch you both, my Lady, before the evening was to approach me here. I have a few tasks at home that will require my immediate attention and make it near impossible for me to talk with you both at any other time,” Ignis’ voice answered in kind. 

Just hearing his accent close to your ear was soothing and welcoming, calming you from your earlier encounter with your father. “Pretty busy over there, hu?” 

“Only a fair bit,” Ignis confessed. “Every week or so my mom must have the house cleaned, so add quite the bit of chores around the house with added gardening work from my father and it leaves me with little time to spare.” 

Thinking of the garden, you stifled a laugh while shifting Ignitus in your lap just a bit. “Hard to imagine you a country boy.” 

He too couldn’t help but chuckle a bit over the line. “Not truly as difficult as all of that. My father owns a reasonable bit of land about the house but it’s not near as expansive as you believe it to be.” 

“Just working out in your pants and no shirt in the sweltering heat?” you lightly teased, rocking Ignitus to try and prepare him for the nap ahead as you could tell earlier he was getting a bit cranky. 

Ignis’ laugh was far more noticeable that time over the line. “You read too many of those shabby romance stories.” He paused, appearing to be folding or putting away clothes or something of the sort. “However, if it makes you happy imagining that, you’re free to let your mind wander.” 

“I'm allowed to fantasize, am I not? Don’t blame my trashy novels all on this,” you sparred vocally in return to egg on the joke. 

You heard the ever gentle smile over the phone with a breathed sigh of content. “How are things over there? How does our son fair?” 

A part of you wished he wouldn’t say that…After the earlier events it made your stomach knot up and nearly make you gag at the fear that had rattled you before. “He was just about to lie down for a nap,” you admitted, noticing that Ignitus had pretty much already fallen asleep in your arms at this point. “In fact, I believe he’s already asleep now.” 

“Mm, pity,” Ignis commented over the line. “I was hoping to see him once more before the day was through.” 

“Well, uh…soon you’ll be here and you can see him every day,” you reminded Ignis, hoping to cheer up the thought just a bit. 

“It will indeed be worth the wait.” 

“We’re both waiting for you,” you whispered, bringing Ignitus close to your chest to find comfort in just your son being there. All the emotions from earlier were beginning to weigh down on you, but you stilled your quivering lip. “We miss you so much…” 

The world went quiet, not making you realize that Ignis was trying to grab your attention till he spoke your name firmly another time. “Y/N,” he beckoned. “Is something the matter?” 

You shook your head wildly even if he wouldn’t be unable to witness it. “No, I'm just—I really need you here now. A month feels like it’s been a damn year, that’s all…” 

Ignis seemed to go quiet for a time, perhaps to try and figure out if your words harbored the truth or attempted to barricade him from it. “Lady Y/N…I love you both with all my heart, and I will return soon. I swear it.” 

You nodded, wiping the tears from your eyes as you hated how hopeless the situation felt and how weary your body and heart were without him there at your side to make the days and nights less lonely. He was the only man to think of you, to hold you and to comfort you during the restless hours of being in the palace, and while a noble prince who loved his people and was fighting valiantly for them was to take Ignis’ you wanted it to always be your advisor. 

But you couldn’t seek this out…not at the cost of his life and reputation… 

“We will…speak with you soon, Iggy,” you spoke gently over the phone. “I better get Ignitus in his crib at least before he wakes up angry at me for moving or something.” 

“Give him my love in the meantime, Y/N,” pleaded Ignis. “I love you both with all my heart.” 

“We love you too.” You nasally sighed to yourself, hating how laborious this feeling was upon your shoulders. “Goodbye for now.” When Ignis hung up the phone you did the same, putting it away and continuing to hug and rock your child to keep Ignitus asleep but also keep somebody close who could give you comfort by just merely being there.

 

\-----------------------

 

Even the days that remained felt like eternity as you eagerly awaited for Ignis to return back to Altissia. You would have gone to fetch him right after he left the docks and joined him in a carriage ride over, but you wanted to wait to give him a bit of a surprise you had been working on in the meantime while he was away and that could only be given in the privacy of your bedroom. 

Ignis wasn’t offended by the thought. When you told him you could only give him a gift of coming home within your bedroom, he was more than willing to wait to arrive in order to receive it. 

“Ready for Iggy to come back home?” you asked Ignitus that morning only to witness as your son smiled at the happiness in your tone. “Yeah, he’ll be home real soon before you know it!” 

With breakfast and bathing out of the way, you played with Ignitus till you heard the casual banter of the passing servants outside your door to indicate that Ignis had returned back at long last. You knew it might be a moment or two till he actually made it to your bedroom, but regardless, you waited patiently as you could. 

When your door soon opened you felt your heart leap in your chest and a sigh of excited relief departed from your lips as you saw Ignis finally enter the room after what felt like an eternity of being gone in Tenebrae. As you saw him about to come closer towards you to embrace and be in your arms again, you held out your hand to halt him. 

“No, stay right there,” you insisted as you knelt down to Ignitus to get him situated on his feet. “We’ve been working hard on this, and we want you to see it.” 

Ignis tilted his head in confusion as he remained near the door, only to find that befuddlement slipping away as Ignitus was escorted just a bit by your hands on his feet until you moved away cautiously to let your son continue on his own towards his father. Moving to his knees, Ignis watched with delight as his son made his way towards him. He had seen signs that Ignitus wanted to try and start walking but the boy couldn’t seem to stand up for very long or couldn’t be bothered to do so for extended periods. Now his own son was walking towards him with his arms out to try and reach his father he had gone weeks without. 

“You can do it, sweetheart,” he encouraged, outstretching his own arms in hopes to close the distance between them. With Ignitus’ hands soon within his own, Ignis escorted the boy into his arms to embrace him tightly and kiss his cheek. “Only been a mere month and you’re already growing up so fast,” Ignis whispered as Ignitus placed his palms on his father’s cheeks. 

A part of you worried Ignitus would say daddy again, but in the moment the boy only appeared to giggle and attempt to. Moving closer to the two, you smiled at the heartwarming scene. “I decided to kind of work on his walking while you were gone. I hope you don’t mind that at all.” 

Ignis shook his head as he opened his nearest arm to ask for you to be beside him. “I was given the joy of seeing my son walk to me,” he reminded you in a low tone so as not to allow the words to carry. “Coming home to you both and that are both quite the joyful gifts.” 

Embracing Ignis tightly, you kissed him upon his cheek before nuzzling into the nook of his neck, not realizing how withered your body felt without having him beside you in that short amount of time. 

Eating dinner with Ignis and Ignitus in your room made the moment feel all the more real to you. The two of you were able to sit down and fully talk about what had happened during one another’s absence though you did your best to leave our the talk you tried to have with your father several days ago about possibly marrying outside of your station. Ignis spoke in great care and love of his time in Tenebrae, seeming to enjoy the city and all her people. He even allowed you to take his phone from him to see pictures he had taken but been unable to send as he lacked the time to do so. 

There were quite a few of his parents and the cat, Cinnamon, as well as the sylleblossom flowers that usually grew about the land. “The palace there looks so beautiful,” you commented, catching some of the older ones again that he had sent regarding the Castle of Tenebrae. 

“Indeed it is so,” said Ignis as he aided Ignitus in eating his meal, “Been years since I’ve been inside but I recall vague, pleasant memories within it.” 

“How old was your mother when she retired from there?” you asked, knowing that Ignis had ventured into the palace to be with his mother whenever she was there still working. 

Ignis sighed to himself, green eyes shifting upward to try and recall exactly. “I would say…she was in her thirties? I was twelve when father was hurt by the spiracorn…so my mother was thirty-seven or thirty-eight.” 

“That’s so young for someone to retire,” you admitted, wondering if she did any other job now that she was no longer working as a royal retainer. 

“I guess when I say ‘retire’ I use the term loosely. She retried from that position but now she works in the nearby marketplace helping out a friend of hers as they sell their wares together.” Seeing Ignitus had gotten his mouth messy, Ignis grabbed the nearby napkin to clean him up. Normally the boy would be fussy at the thought but seeing Ignis was back it appeared to bother him very little. 

“And your father just works at the house all day?” you questioned, not used to that mentality that men would stay home and play housekeeper. From an Altissian point of view, most men were the ones running the shops and if the family was in dire need of money or the woman was talented, the wife would aid in that as well by peddling her merchandise on the streets. 

“He has his cat and his garden,” Ignis said with a smile to Ignitus as the boy was playfully looking his way. “He wanted to open a restaurant but…given his health it wouldn’t be in his best interest. From time to time he has elbowed me about the concept but I find my job here keeps me the most busy in a rather joyful manner.” 

“I could hardly handle your absence when you were in Tenebrae for a month,” you confessed with a weary breath. “I don’t think I could handle the idea if you ever left…” 

Seeing that himself and Ignitus were done eating, he departed from his side of the table to at least allow Ignitus to be free and wiped down a bit when it came to his messy hands and still parts of his mouth. “Well, fear not with that, Princess…” Ignis paused, turning to look in your direction. “…I don’t plan on leaving you unless you wish it of me.” 

It brought some form of comfort to you, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to tell Ignis the truth of what had been bothering you from prior. 

Ignis excused himself from the small dining table you had in your room. “Let me get him washed for the evening, and then we can talk some more later.” 

You laughed to yourself, hoping to dismiss your worries. “You sound like you’re just moving in for the evening.” 

“If you wouldn’t mind, my Lady, I would greatly wish to be beside you this evening.” Ignis cleared his throat against his fist as if to rid himself too of anxious thoughts bubbling within him. “And by that I mean…sleeping beside you tonight.” 

A part of you wanted to say no but the other part that was far louder desired it more than anything. The servants had been vile in their underhanded remarks about Ignis taking care of your son so much that he was probably going to end up the father in time if he wasn’t by some chance already given what few chances anybody had seen you away from his presence and vise versa. All of those hurtful and nagging words made you scared and encouraged the onslaught of nightmares of what could possibly happen to the three of you. You wanted to stop it all from continuing, tell him this couldn’t be…but what if it could? While it was probably selfish, you could hardly breathe without him nearby to encourage the very thought of stopping it all completely. 

“Don’t you have to unpack at least?” Ever since Ignis got back you had realized he dropped his belongings in his bedroom before heading back to your room in haste. You didn’t want to intervene at all. 

“I do but it is only a few things that require my attention, and that all can wait in comparison to being beside those I love once more.” 

You smiled regardless of how shaky the foundation was for you even to find the strength to do so. “Then…I would love for you to.” 

When the evening settled and your son was put down to bed, you found yourself resting in the arms of Ignis once more. Nothing needed to be said at that moment. The room was quiet and under the warmth of your covers you found further escape from the chill in the air within Ignis’ embrace. The melodic beating of his heart, the tender caress of his fingertips as they massaged your scalp and tended to every strand of your hair in kind worked in poetic unison to urge you to doze off once or twice in the evening of just embracing. The only thing that would truly rouse you was when he brought you close and kissed upon your head in loving need to be beside you once more. 

“Just hearing you breathe is soothing to me,” Ignis murmured when he felt you stir against him. 

“Hearing your heartbeat does it for me,” you confessed in turn, kissing the area where the melodic beat was coming from. “Did you ever put those pictures I sent you to good use?” 

You felt Ignis stiffen for a mere moment at the personal question. “Do you truly wish to know the answer to that, my Lady?” 

“Well, I was going to say _yes_ but I feel your tone implies enough,” you joked, nuzzling against his chest all the more. 

“I apologize for the crudity of it,” Ignis responded as if to defend himself. “I just…it had been so long by that time since I last saw you that I had only my dreams and a few pictures of you and Ignitus to comfort me.” 

Pulling back from the hug just a bit, you caught your advisor’s eyes. “You know it is fine to be human and not be perfect all the time, right Ignis?” Your fingertips graced the warmth of his blushing cheek, moving closer to his lips with your own in the moment to kiss him and breathe life into you both once more in reminder that the time apart was over. The balmy taste of his breath made you crave more but you had to remind yourself to be cautious and not be too greedy in trying to excite his love if the weeks going forward didn’t prove to be fruitful. “We both missed you too and had I the moment of peace I would have done the same with you in mind.” 

Ignis blushed even more at your honesty as his eyes shifted swiftly back and forth in thought of how to respond. “I'm afraid…I never had the courage to send anything back to you when you gave me something so special.” 

“You don’t have to give me anything back,” you insisted, kissing his lower lip to sooth his concern on the matter. 

Ignis’ fingers curled upon your own, gripping them in a loving way. “I still…wished to…” His words stuttered quietly in the matter as if ashamed he was too embarrassed to send something as that over the phone. “I don’t know what’s ever the matter with me,” he chuckled, trying to urge his worries to flee from the situation. “You’ve seen me with only my skin to armor me before but…” Again, he halted his words and looked away before returning to you once more. “…I guess knowing that you have something there… a moment of me exposed, frozen in time… for you to witness and enjoy is very unnerving.” 

You smiled, placing your forehead against his when you found the moment to do so. “It is scary, and you have no idea how hard it was for me to send the ones I sent you, but I was happy to do it, Ignis, because I trust you with them. I’ve put so much trust in you that I allowed you to see more than just those pictures, because I knew out of any man out there, you would treat me with respect and honor.” 

“I know you would do the same to me, Princess,” Ignis spoke quickly as if you were insinuating he didn’t feel you would. His hastened words warmed the chill upon your cheek as his nose sweetly nuzzled beside your own. “I swear it—I know you would…!” 

“Shhh,” you urged, kissing him greedily once more in the dim lighting of your bedroom. “Just let me be greedy and have you once more in this moment…please.” You begged for his surrender in the matter only because you were unsure how long it may very well be till you both could do this ever again.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N** : Aah when you come back to your own story scratching your head on where to start. lol Sorry for the absence of this. I was busy with commissions and a few other things that took my focus away from it. I do hope to burn through at least 2 or so more chapters till I go quiet once more working on a 5 chapter and 15-chapter private commission and other things as well. (I got a Switch, and it’s been kinda nice just playing games and not worrying about what to update if I'm to be honest!) 

If anybody is interested in the list of things I am working on, I have a trello account that tells everything in that regard (mostly). I do go by the beat of my own drum. I also got over my fear of publishing my own novel ideas, and those can be found on my Wattpad. I plan to keep fanfiction off of it, so I wouldn’t suggest going there unless original content interests you. 

Thanks for the support on my works thus far. I appreciate it~.

**[Trello](https://trello.com/b/oGpImMP3) | [Wattpad](https://www.wattpad.com/user/Oreana_Galena)**

 

* * *

Even if the fears clawed angrily at your back, demanding your obedience in staying your hand in the matter your heart willingly bled in the act. The warmth of Ignis’ cheeks and the closeness of his bare body sent the chills of your form away. Your leg cradled the back of his to where you bent your knee just a bit upward to feel the firmness of his backside, your tongue savoring the taste that you felt you had been robbed of for so long. Hearing his encouraging moans, feeling them resonate against your tongue and lips, you trembled as a thrall to ecstasy. 

The way his fingertips glided from one destination to the next upon you felt rhythmic, the close bond between your naked forms would close on occasion every time he moved forward to thrust in a teasing manner upon you. Your arms and legs guided him into a more intimate embrace, not wishing for him to leave your side once more. 

“Had I the power…I would tell the world of us,” you whispered, feeling the overwhelming sting of regret in regards of what kept you both apart and from grasping the truth. 

Ignis froze for a moment under your words, eventually responding in kind as his fingers dug tenderly into your hair to massage your scalp and soothe you. “Y/N…you are a beautiful ember that glows the brightest in my darkest hours, and when I find the strength and means—I will proclaim my love to you no matter what it means for me.” 

The very thought made your stomach churn in illness. “Do not risk yourself for the sake of love…” you pleaded, moving your hands to his cheeks to ask for his sight upon you yet again. “I would be an unfaithful letch to my husband to be…but even if I married Anduin, I would still want for you to be my true husband that I would see even if in the shadows…” 

Ignis’ brow furrowed, shaking his head as his own palms found their rest upon the back of your grasp. “His Highness does not deserve that cruelty, Lady Y/N—you know this.” He nasally sighed, remembering his own wrong doings towards the prince. “I have…been horribly malicious to him even in my own most private of thoughts but, he does not deserve my retribution for merely being destined to have your heart and body by creed.” All of it seemed to be painful for Ignis to truly even admit to. “Prince Anduin is a good and noble man regardless of what venom I may spout out of jealousy, and it would be in our best interest to be honest with him.” 

“He would be furious that Ignitus is truly not his,” you whispered in fear of the matter. You knew Anduin was kind, but even the kindness of men could only go so far when it came to something that was an accident and a poor decision on your part. 

Ignis ushered your palm to his lips, kissing you sweetly to try and settle you and your racing thoughts. “We will speak of the matter later,” he insisted, “but I wish to continue to make such bad choices as this if you do truly love me as you claim.” 

“I do,” you spoke without hesitation, kissing his lips several times over to seal the truth in the matter. “I love you and no one else.” 

The words were hot and welcoming, encouraging your advisor onward all the more. The moist, warmth of his lips touched upon yours, in time venturing to your neck and then your shoulder. Your mouth agape, your eyes took to the ceiling as you felt even Ignis’ hand move from cradling the middle of your back down to your inner thigh. He lifted your leg with ease, seeming to pet the other before turning his blind attention to your womanhood to ease you into the next state of euphoria. 

You arched into the act of his index finger probing your entrance that was already waiting for him at the height of this erotic dance. Knowing your son was sleeping nearby, you did your best to bite back the desire to be vocal, teeth rolling over your lower lip to quiet the temptation only to let loose for a brief moment as Ignis’ own teeth raked cautiously against your skin on the nook of your neck. 

His touch was delicate, moving the single digit inside of your body in a circular motion before bothering to shepherd it towards himself. It was slow, agonizing in a pleasant way only to have that steady motion increase in vigor as he was desperate to feel and hear you squirm under his administrations. Even when you quietly warned him of the fact he was making it hard, you could hear and feel the rumbling laugh vibrate from his lips as he pinched and pulled upon the recess of your neck. 

“Someone still hasn’t learned discipline,” Ignis whispered hotly in a teasing manner. He pulled his fingers from the wet confines of your womanhood, the lubrication of your body having slicked them well during the act. 

You huffed, watching as he casually licked your essence from his fingertips before you in some sort of desire to arouse you further. “One of us was able to get that discipline out during our time apart,” you began jokingly. “I didn’t have that time in doing so…!” 

The advisor slipped his fingers through the divide of yours, moving you onto your back as his body guarded you. “Then let me assist you, your Highness,” Ignis purred, letting the swollen head of his erection toy with the very thought of finding its home within you. 

You had merely dreamed of this togetherness and when the realization came to light that he was truly there, you gave him more room in which to work before wrapping your legs about his lower body to escort him further inside of you. Your body adjusted best it was able, almost painful in the beginning, before relaxing to the size that sheathed perfectly. 

Back arched off of the covers, you huffed heatedly again and again to calm yourself with Ignitus nearby. Sensing your struggle, Ignis moved forward to cradle your head against his palms as his thrusts were slow and steady in the beginning with his lips in time occupying yours and swallowing the vocal moans you wished to part with. 

Your toes curled, heart beating wildly as your hips rolled forwards to try and match the pace that eventually escaladed in excitement. Nostrils flared, you drank down the warm saliva that was finer than any wine you could hope to sample while only having but a spare moments to whisper his name in the ever erotic build through ecstasy. Your heels digging into his lower back, you pushed him as far in as possible in hopes to feel him once more—not caring or even bothering to think of the consequences yet again with your body in a blind fit of euphoria, wavering in its climax. 

However, Ignis was fully aware of them and with what strength he could manage, he pulled away from you before he could hope to release to allow the warmth of his seed to spray upon your stomach and a bit of your thighs as well. For once, you saw him quiver with great relief as he panted heavily from the aftermath of the longed for union. 

“I am…not about to let this end in another stream of worries, Princess,” Ignis panted, the sweat glistening from his body at behest of the light in the bedroom. He perhaps could see your disappointment, prompting him to move closer to gently nuzzle against your cheek in hopes to soothe the upset. “We have one child, I dare not make another under the circumstances.” 

As he took to the nearby nightstand to grab a few tissues to clean up the mess upon your body, you tried to subside the annoyance in the matter. “I wish it were easier to just open up about all of this so I could do as I pleased with you…” In the moment, you mind raced back to the conversation you had with your father and even the servants butting in about the supposed scandal with the royal family in Tenebrae. 

Dare you tell him…? Every time you did, you felt it amounted to nothing but the same old promises that you felt even he couldn’t fulfill without the loss of his life or honor. 

“We’ll try with his Highness,” Ignis insisted in a whisper, finishing with cleaning you before taking his place beside you yet again. “I feel Prince Anduin would be the easiest of all in the matter.” 

Your arms embraced him, bringing your cheek to rest on Ignis’ bare chest with a heavy sigh. Honestly, you weren’t so sure about that but you were willing to try nonetheless. Hiding a bad decision you made wasn’t exactly the best course of action, and you knew you had to try and mend it—the sooner the better, probably…

 

**\----One Year Later----**

 

None of it came easy. Every time you thought you had it in you to tell either Anduin or your own family the truth, you receded from the idea in worry that Ignitus would no longer have his true father in the picture. The servants were constantly snickering at times as if to hint they knew the truth no thanks in kind to that once incident…and Skylar was certainly not shy about constantly (off-handedly) scolding you for something she seemed to know you may have done. 

At times you were tempted to demand the truth—demand to know if she knew or not—but you stayed your hand, only seeming to cower about her presence. 

Ignitus was now two. It was hard to believe that it had been two years now since you had given birth. He was able to walk just fine on his own (still fell over now and again if he went too fast) and was quite the chatter-bug. Teaching him what to say now was more a challenge than ever. When he let slip that he saw Ignis as his dad, it was in privacy, but now it was harder to try and teach the child that Ignis had to be known as Ignis or Iggy—not ‘daddy’. 

It was constantly slipping from his mouth to a point even the servants who stayed from the drama swelling within the gut of the palace looked at the moments in horror. 

Even with the time you were able to spare with Anduin over a video call, you couldn’t get Ignitus to acknowledge who it was. You could tell it wounded your betrothed, making the matter all the more damning and difficult to confess that the boy wasn’t even Anduin’s to begin with. 

“Ignis has just been doing as my father asked—taking care of him quite well in your place when need be,” you said, finding yourself lying once more as you rubbed the back of your neck nervously. “Even my own father rarely spends time with his grandson, and because of that, Ignitus doesn’t even know that’s his grandfather, really. He’s young…just confused…he’ll turn in time.” 

Anduin smiled best he was able. “Life as a royal, hu?” 

He empathized, understanding all too well what that life was like. When his mother passed sometime when he was a child, his father had gone to war over in Lucis for a time. He had taken over a spot in the northwestern part of Lucis to stay and try and make preparations against the kingdom when a treaty had fallen through. The man was gone for fifteen or so years, leaving Anduin with very little memories of him and what he was truly like. He was regarded as a war hero even as the war ended less in Niflheim’s favor, and, as a man of faith and understanding, the Prince of Niflheim did his best to revere his father as the same, but you could tell it still gnawed at him. 

The comment still spurred in you the thoughts that continued to hurt in how both of you were allowed little opening to do as you pleased. “Anduin…have you ever regretted our betrothal at all?” 

The blond shifted in his chair, humming curiously at why you’d ask such a thing. “I can say with a clear conscience that…it is upsetting that we never truly got to choose the one we’d wish to marry of our own accord, Lady Y/N, but as the years have gone by I do have faith in us.” 

You flinched. 

“There has never been another woman that I’ve been intrigued by and honestly, you’re the only one who truly knows a lot about me and my secrets,” Anduin confessed with a small chuckle. But you heard him sigh, causing you to gaze back at the computer screen to notice he looked concerned. “However, I…I know I’ve not been the best betrothed that I could be to you given the uprise of the illness here in Gralea. We even have a son who doesn’t quite recognize me as his father.” The words pained him and even the screen did little to hide that. 

“You’ve been busy, your Highness,” you reminded him, hands gripping one another tightly in your lap. “Ignitus as well as myself understand this.” 

“Does he…?” Anduin questioned, seeming uncertain in the thought. “No, this isn’t right.” He shook his head before turning back to you, determined. “I'm afraid I must go for now, my Lady, but I’ll see a few things tended to on my end before speaking with you once more. Be safe and know that I love you both.” 

You felt a twinge of anxiety ache in your chest for some reason over that promise, but you dismissed it best you were able. “Be safe yourself, my Prince—we love you as well and will talk to you soon.” 

With the call ending, you shut your laptop and took to your feet with your hand to your chest to still your beating heart. If there could be a single day you didn’t feel this nauseating sensation, that would be a relief and blessing from the gods on its own. You damned yourself, hating that you didn’t do as you swore you would once again in trying to reveal the truth to Anduin, but each time you spoke you could see that the mere thought of Ignitus not even acknowledging him as his father hurt him and in turn stabbed your own heart like a spear had run it through. Shaking the thoughts from you, you ventured to the kitchen where you knew Ignis said he’d be with Ignitus in making dinner. 

Because Ignitus had watched Ignis make so many meals, the boy had become entertained by the sight and even wanted to help his father. There was even a time your son had asked you why you didn’t help, but you were scared to admit to even your own child that you didn’t know how. There were so many things you hated to confess you didn’t know how to do and was merely learning with Ignis there to show you the way. The crippling life of a royal—everything was done for you to where you never saw the reasons of learning to do it on your own. 

As you ventured closer to the kitchen you could hear the laughter bounding down the hall, even Ignis’ and that was quite a rarity. 

“I hold that,” Ignitus insisted, opening his hands for the plastic spoon Ignis appeared to have at the ready for making the cake he had in mind for dessert. 

“You hold that?” Ignis quoted with a chuckle. “You want to help me mix the butter and the sugar?” 

You saw your son nod as Ignis willingly let Ignitus take hold of the spoon while he took to the bowl. Only going off what he had seen his father do, Ignitus began to mash the spoon into the bowl, trying to mix to the best of his ability. After a bit of doing so, Ignitus tried to show the spoon to Ignis. “Is perfect,” Ignitus said, his speech still a bit broken given his age. 

“It’s perfect, hu?” Ignis took the spoon back for a second to stir it a bit more. “You just want to eat butter and sugar?” Witnessing Ignitus nod with an ear-to-ear grin, he himself couldn’t help but laugh once more. “We have to make it tastier, sweetheart. I need to add quite a few more things. Do you remember what they are?” 

Ignitus scratched the side of his head in thought. “Egg—egg, please!” He outstretched his hand, asking for his father to hand over the eggs he needed and it was there Ignis helped the boy crack it on the side of the bowl before letting him stir once more. 

You smiled, venturing further into the kitchen. “Teaching him already how to make cakes?” 

Ignis’ eyes peered over his shoulder at you. He stifled a small laugh. “Mm, hardly just that, my Lady. Besides, he was eager and willing to learn on his own. I will not stop him.” Wiping his hands on the apron he wore, Ignis stole a kiss from his son’s cheek. “Let me finish the rest, sweetheart, so I can get dinner on the table. Thank you for helping.” 

You opened your arms, accepting Ignitus into your embrace only to move your face away from his dirty hands with a laugh. “Had a bit of fun, did we? I need to clean you up before you touch anything else in this palace.” 

“You can do so in here, your Highness,” said Ignis as he went back to the cake. “How did the talk with Prince Anduin fair?” 

Your lips thinned in a bit of stressful anguish, venturing over to the nearby sink to get Ignitus cleaned. “I didn’t exactly find a moment to tell him…” 

“My Lady,” Ignis sighed as a means to chastise you. 

You raised your free hand to the very idea of him about to attack you on the matter. “I know; I know.” 

“It’s been two years now, Lady Y/N,” he reminded you. “How much longer do you truly plan for this to go onward?” 

You frowned, running the warm water over your son’s fingers before fondling for the nearby towel. “I don’t want to hurt anybody, Ignis,” you reminded him in a whisper. “I can talk about how my love for you is so strong I’d do anything for you but…seeing Anduin’s face whenever he feels Ignitus might not even acknowledge him as his father it’s…” You sighed heavily. “…He is a good man who I don’t want to hurt.” 

“You hurt him all the worse by pretending Ignitus is his,” Ignis reminded you in a quiet whisper, finishing what he needed for the cake during the conversation and putting it to bake in the oven. “The truth in most cases is never easy, but I still believe it is wise to say it.” 

Your mind raced back to the talks about he palace, about how much of a scandal it was that Ignitus didn’t understand Ignis wasn’t his father. The cruel reminders and whispers of Skylar in regards to if that were indeed true—that Ignitus was indeed Ignis’—how it would be humiliating for all of Accordo, your family, and Ignis’ line as well. A part of you began to even wonder if just denying Ignis your heart would be the better option in the end…if that would save him. If the punishment would be only yours to bear, this would be easier but the idea so many could be shamed in this, it weighed all the heavier. 

“Y/N.” 

You were so deep in your own mind, you hadn’t realized that you had just drifted off in doing so. “I know; I'm—I'm sorry…” Feeling Ignitus’ hands upon your cheek, you turned your gaze to your son and smiled warmly before kissing his forehead. 

Ignis frowned, taking your hand in his to try and recapture your attention. “Why don’t you wait for me in the bedroom, Lady Y/N? I will be finished up here in due time, but I can see your mind wanders as of late…Perhaps you will tell me a bit more later?” 

You wanted to, but there wasn’t much to be said. All the same, you forced a smile and nodded. “Sounds like a plan. May I borrow your phone then?” 

He gave you a funny look, digging it out of his chest pocket all the same. “Why my phone?” 

“I need to keep Ignitus busy and mine is on its way here since I broke it just last week,” you explained in minor embarrassment. “I know you have that Boco show on there somewhere in your multitude of apps.” 

Ignis sighed with a playful roll of his eyes. “Yes, it’s on the first screen. Do take better care of mine, if you please.” 

“Boco, Boco, Boco!” Ignitus chanted excitedly, grabbing at Ignis’ phone to the point you had to hold it steady in case it would slip from your hands and be dropped. “I wanna see.” 

“Just a second, baby,” you whispered, kissing his cheek as you turned to head to the bedroom. “Let’s sit down first and then you can watch it with mommy.” 

He at least listened, allowing you to walk to your bedroom first to sit down on the loveseat within the room and watch an episode with him while Ignis finished up dinner. The meal was delightful as always and not much truly happened that you were meant to be aware of. A part of you was hoping that Ignis would completely forget to talk more in depth about your behavior and when the dinner was over and Ignitus put to bed, you assumed that it would be so only to discover otherwise. 

“My Lady, you’ve been awfully distracted and a bit to yourself for quite some time lately,” Ignis probed in concern, taking your hand within his to try and soothe away whatever worries you had. “If anything, it felt the moment I returned home a year ago you’ve been not yourself…Did something happen while I was away?” 

Your eyes darted from his, sighing nasally at the very thought of departing with the truth. Even if the gossip hissed about the palace, Ignis seemed to either be keen on ignoring it or just not truly being there to hear any of it; not knowing the extent in which the servants were truly playing with your anxieties. It made your desire to love Ignis all the more difficult. 

“It’s a lot of things, Iggy,” you persisted softly, cradling his cheeks in your grasp to try and still his own worries of the matter. “I love you with all of my heart, and had I the power, I’d see it through to our wedding day…” 

Ignis frowned at the way your words drifted off, feeling there was more you wanted to say. “But…?” 

“But I—.” 

Your thoughts were cut short at the sound of your messenger program on your laptop going off, indicating a call from possibly Anduin. 

“That’s probably his Highness.” Your anxiety began to flutter your heart. “You best move out of the image so he doesn’t get the wrong idea.” 

Ignis bowed his head in understanding, stepping to the side and more towards the balcony to let you take to the call as quickly as possible. 

Sure enough, it was Prince Anduin. It was odd getting another call from him so soon. “Your Highness—two calls in one day is very unlike you.” You laughed softly, trying to be dismissive of the very idea being alarming. 

“I told you earlier I would when I cleaned up a few things here,” Anduin reminded you. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?” 

“Oh, no, no—Ignitus and I just finished eating dinner, and he’s down for the night. But what about you? Are you all right?” 

He nodded, leaning forward with his fingers intertwined before him on the desk. “Lady Y/N, I am going to see to it that I come over to Accordo this time and stay—for good this time.” 

You felt your heart freeze, making it difficult to breathe for a moment. Even Ignis turned around on his heels at the mere mention of such a thing, knowing what that would mean for him in turn. 

“R-Really?” You hoped your stuttering wasn’t misleading as you did your best to sound excited about the idea even if it horrified you. “For good? What about your people? What about the Starscourge?” 

“I’ve entrusted the hope of my people in nobody but the best, Lady Y/N,” Anduin confirmed. “Besides, I…kind of hoped to venture to Accordo and stay for a time till returning here with Ignitus and you as my wife.” 

Ignis’ mouth agape in utter fear motioned to you then. “ ** _Tell him!_** ” he mouth firmly with a wave of his hands. 

You almost desired to but the thought of doing so was halted as though a noose was tied firmly about your neck, choking the will from you. Mouth dry and heart bleeding at the choice you were about to make, you felt your fingers curl in anguish. “Your Highness, I—I would…like that…very much.” 

You heard the disbelieving gasp from Ignis, making you hurt all the worse, but all of those taunting remarks, all of those threats of what could happen to Ignis if any of it were revealed…you couldn’t let it unfold. You couldn’t let Ignis have your heart and the best way to do such a thing was to forcefully go through with the betrothal and never confess the truth no matter how much it would hurt you both in the long run. 

Having Ignis live and be furious with you was one thing, but having him love you as he was beheaded for his crime of impregnating a royal was something that you could bear no longer in the depths of your nightmares. 

“When do you plan on arriving?” you asked, ignoring Ignis who was trying to demand your attention. 

“I’ll be able to depart from here within two days,” Anduin answered, smiling at the realization he would finally be with you and his son. “Obviously, I’ll still have to check in around here from time to time, but I’ve sworn to never be pulled away unless it is urgent, and by urgent I mean if my captain of the guard has fallen.” 

“I understand.” You bowed your head, drumming your fingers quietly on the desk. “I best be going, Anduin. It’s late here, and I’ll need to prepare for your arrival soon.” Again, you forced the best smile you could in the moment, even if your heart was breaking ever so agonizingly slow. 

“Take care till then, Lady Y/N. I will be with you both soon.” 

The moment the call ended, Ignis came up quickly in a fit of anger. You hadn’t the courage to face him, prompting you to look away even as he grabbed for your hand to rest his on top of it to impress his mixture of emotions—his heartache, his anger, his confusion. “What have you done?” he asked, stressing every word and demanding an answer for this.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the continued support on the story. I guess because my to-do list piled up a bit I’ve been less than enthused at times to work on it but the support does make it easier to come back to, and I thank you for that. It might also be why things have gone from constant fluff to ‘let’s get this shit on with’, and I apologize if that seems a bit rushed. I am just trying to get through it at this point before I run out of fuel as I feel any ending is better than no ending.
> 
> My week coming up is my paid vacation away from having to be up at 5:30 AM nearly every day of the week, and I'm ready. X-x; You’ll probably see starter chapters for some stories that aren’t inserts, and I apologize for that. I just really want to look at writing for something more for me than just ‘everybody’ or just one person like a commission. I kind of need this outlet and rejuvenation. <3 I tried working on my OC/Ignis NSFW comic, and holy gods…I forget how draining that can be. Only on page 6, and I want to die. lol

You hadn’t the nerve to even look at Ignis. Every time you thought you had a sentence figured out, you found the words leaving you in the somber chill in the air. If you spoke of your reasons, Ignis would merely fight harder to have you with false reassurances that everything would be all right. 

But it wouldn’t… 

“Ignis…this isn’t…I cannot do this anymore,” you whispered somberly, voice quaking upon nearly every word as tears began to blur your vision. 

He gasped quietly, removing his aggressive hold from your hand that remained curled upon the desk. “Y/N…?” The mere sound of your name was heavy, dreading what you were about to confess. 

It was there you were able to find what courage you could, looking to him as your expression cracked under the pressures of your budding sorrow. “Everyday I wake up in a horrible anxiety fit wondering what the hours will bring me…” You hated saying that as a part of you felt it seemed a bit selfish as your life was hardly on the line as his was. “I'm scared… ** _SO_** scared of what will happen if anybody says anything about what we’ve been doing behind closed doors…” 

“Lady Y/N—!” His hands grabbed your shoulders, but you wouldn’t allow him to continue. 

“The servants act as though they know something,” you went onward, biting at your lower lip. “I'm worried one of them may very well tell father about this matter, and I will awaken to you being tried and sentenced to death for my stupid mistake in not being careful as you instructed those years ago…” 

“And you think marrying Prince Anduin will have it be rid of?” Ignis questioned. With how still the atmosphere had become, you could hear the breathless fear in his words. 

“It will save your life, Ignis!” you responded in desperation, palms cradling his cheeks to try and beg for him to see the reason in this. “I’ve been thinking about this since the moment you left for Tenebrae sometime ago.” Your eyes closed tightly, fighting back the tears that wanted to blind you further. “I have a duty to fulfill, and as it is, you can still be beside your son and raise him as you wish—.” 

Ignis grabbed your hands, peeling them away from where they rested. His green eyes narrowed with a firm anger. “—But he would not know in time that I am his birth father. In time the lies hissed about this palace and even through our own lips would have him forgetting I even once stood by his crib as such!” 

It was the same argument as always. Just as he gave the same promises everything would be okay, he was merely saying half of these things just to encourage you to speak the truth. Perhaps he was blind to it or perhaps he chose to ignore it, but the dreadful thoughts stewing about the palace did little to encourage you in the direction of being honest about what had transpired in the past few years. 

“Ignis…I…” You lowered your head in defeat, quivering. “…You need to leave my room, please…” It hurt having to ask of such a thing, but you knew even during those two days, if you let the love continue, trying to even remotely pretend to love Anduin would be difficult. 

The advisor inhaled sharply, stepping backward as if uncertain he heard for sure what you had just uttered. “For…how long must I be so?” 

You knew what he was asking and just as he was dreading an answer, you weren’t wishing to depart with it. Breath quivering as you breathed, you did your best to look him dead in the eyes. “I cannot and will not love you anymore, Ignis.” Your words cut the air in such swift mercilessness that you could see the visual wound upon your partner. “At least…not love you in the means in which you so desire.” Bowing your head, your arms embraced your body. “I'm afraid that I must ask our relationship from here onward be strictly platonic…” 

“I see…” Ignis’ silence was heartbreaking and hard to endure. You heard his clothes bend to his movements as he bowed before you with his arm curled to his chest. “Forgive me then for the intrusion, my Lady. I will…see myself out for the evening.” 

The words of familiarity he attempted to force was such a harshly wielded blade in return to your heart that you turned away, doing your best to prevent yourself from crying. Hearing him depart from the room you let yourself fall to pieces in privacy. Knees struck the cold floor to which you ignored the pain that dared to rake through you on the act. Palms did their best to shield the visible inner agony that marred your features. 

If only you hadn’t made such a hasty choice… hadn’t allowed all of this to continue as it had, things would be easier… _better_ …wouldn’t they have been? 

You tried to get sleep that evening but it was nearly impossible. Eventually, your body was lured into a weak lullaby of exhaustion given the anxiety and pain you had inflicted upon your own heart. Exhaustion had dulled your senses so well you hadn’t realized Ignitus was fussing till the sound of your door opening at a heavy panic woke you in the late hours of the night. 

Your son was standing upright in his crib, turning to the door that had just opened to notice Ignis was there. In desperation to be held, Ignitus reached for him best he was able even as Ignis stood there at the door trying to get his robe in place. “Daddy!” Ignitus cried, his hands grabbing at the air in a mute wish for Ignis to be closer. 

Hearing such a title given to him made Ignis rush forward, scooping up his baby into his embrace to shush him tenderly. “It’s okay,” Ignis whispered as you slowly took to your own feet. You could hear the man was visibly upset himself, knowing that would probably be the last time he could hold his own son and have Ignitus call him such a title he had come to adore. Ignis fingers dug gently into the blond hairs of the young boy to keep him close as he rocked him in his arms. “Shhh, I'm here.” He was quiet for a moment but even with the lack of light and Ignis’ attention from you, you could easily hear that he too was distraught and possibly crying. “I love you so much, Ignitus…Don’t dare have the world tell you differently.” 

Hands balled to your chest, you wished you could tell him everything would be fine, but to be honest with yourself, you weren’t even sure.

 

\---------

 

Two days was hardly enough time to try and set everything as right as it could be. Ignis still talked to you like a friend but you could tell it wounded him as it did you in return. So badly you wished you could just reach across the table during meals and hold his hand, kiss him, do something to make the pain better, but you had to have restraint. 

You had to remember his life was always on the line. 

“Now, remember, Ignitus: when Anduin gets here you say ‘hi, daddy’,” you instructed as you straightened the boy’s shirt. 

Ignitus’ eyes wandered over to Ignis, confused or expecting him to say something to interject. The three of you had ventured to the port to wait for his highness to arrive that morning. 

“Baby, look at me,” you instructed with a sigh, hating to have to do this in front of Ignis of all people but he insisted to come along. Managing to get Ignitus’ attention, you raised your brow at him. “What do you say when you see Anduin?”

“Hi, daddy,” Ignitus mumbled a bit, moving his fingers towards his mouth. 

“Good, good,” you praised, guiding his hand from his mouth as you had noted it seemed to be an ongoing habit of his that he did possibly out of shyness. Honestly, you weren’t too sure. “Don’t do that, sweetie. You want to be able to talk to him properly, yeah? He won’t be able to hear you with your fingers in your mouth.” 

“He should be here in time, my Lady,” Ignis informed as he checked a few things on his phone before pocketing the device once more. 

Looking about the area cautiously, you leaned in to whisper to him. “Ignis…are you sure you want to be here?” 

“I’ll be fine, my Lady.” 

His answer was almost void of life. It sounded and seemed as though he were doing his best to detach himself from the situation and from an outward perspective, it appeared to be working. He felt ever so the advisor and nothing more. 

The moment that Anduin’s ship had docked, your own body went numb at the idea you had to tell your heart to behave and remember that you were before your betrothed. Trying to erase all those memories, those pleasant times with Ignis and pretend they never happened was an absolute struggle. Your legs nearly demanded you run for it, find somewhere to hide and just break down crying, but you resisted and pressed a warm smile to Anduin as he departed. 

“Y/N! Ignitus!” Anduin greeted, rushing to your side as he embraced you both. 

You did your best not to stiffen under his affection, smiling brightly in return. “Anduin, it is so wonderful to see you again.” 

Your son had met Anduin before through the video calls so the prince wasn’t a stranger to Ignitus, making it easy for him to be joyful in actually being able to hug and touch the man in the flesh. 

Passing the young boy to Anduin, you hoped Ignitus would say what you taught him. When the boy seemed to struggle with the thought, you urged him. “Ignitus, say hi.” 

“Hi, daddy,” Ignitus said, embracing Anduin’s neck to stay close. 

It was horribly uncomfortable with Ignis nearby but you felt some form of relief that Anduin was able to hear that title even if he had been fooled into believing it true. 

“It is so good to see you again, son,” Anduin sighed in relief, kissing the boy on the cheek before turning his attention to Ignis who was respectfully bowing. You knew he would dare not lift his head to view the scene before him, else he feel his heart break a bit more. “It is good to see you again, Ignis.” 

“Your Highness,” he complied in return as acknowledgement. It was so strained and molded in horrible bitterness that you worried it would be noticed by Anduin. 

Anduin’s hand rested on Ignis’ shoulder, encouraging the man to stand upright just slightly. “I thank you for taking care of my son for me during these trying times.” 

It was an honest and respectfully remark but Ignis still flinched, his fingers curling into an even tighter fist. “I’ve…grown quite close to the young prince, your Highness. I treated him as though he were my very own.” 

Not wishing for this strain to continue, you gently pulled on Anduin’s free arm to urge him back towards the carriage that you had arrived in. “Come, my dear. I am sure with all that traveling and everything going on in Gralea you’re exhausted. It is best we get you to the palace where you can unwind.” 

“It has been a fair share for both, but I assure you that I’ll be fine for a few hours more,” Anduin said as he took your lead back to the carriage. 

Having Ignis shackled on advisor duty and nothing more was so strange to you. Whenever he was not needed, he took his leave to be elsewhere and tend to other duties. From the sound of things, Gralea was basically an abandoned city by this point, the main force putting up barricades with what might and magic they could muster to prevent the daemons from spreading further or even reaching Tenebrae. 

“Do you think anything can be done? Anything at all to save those people?” you wondered with a worried frown, fearing for Accordo herself given how close your kingdom was to Niflheim. 

“Slay the poor beasts,” Anduin sighed, rocking Ignitus in his arms as the boy had apparently fallen asleep in his embrace. “We sent for the Lady in Tenebrae who knows how to heal quite beautifully in these matters and ease the suffering of others, but even her power alone can only show the people so much mercy in this.” 

You were still fearful of what this disease could transpire into in time. Eventually, it would demolish any and everything and then, what future would your son even have? “Have you thought to call on the King of Lucis for aid? I am sure he could send you who he is able in terms of support.” 

“We will as a last resort as I know their king has enough to focus on as it is,” Anduin said with a shrug. “Honestly, it was why I was hoping to bring you over to Niflheim in time to aid me in this quest.” 

You jerked your head back in shock at the comment. “M-Me? But, Anduin, I am hardly a fighter! It was a reason I got so horribly wounded those years ago.” 

“But you can still heal, and you know how to assist people in grave peril, my Lady,” the Prince reminded you. “You would not be on the front lines, Y/N, but serving those who would in time become your people.” 

It was a sort of tradition laid into most female rulers—they should at least learn how to heal others in case of such times battle should arise. If they wished to know how to wield a weapon, all the better, but it was hardly something that interested you. You would gladly show your support for those who risked their lives but that was the most of it. 

“And these plans? When were you hoping to put them into action with me becoming your wife and us moving to Niflheim?” The words reluctantly departed from your lips as your knuckles turned white from where you gripped your gown you were wearing. 

“I know it’s been disorienting without me here in yours and our son’s lives, Y/N, and I do not mind to wait to be reacquainted without anything interrupting us…” Anduin paused, moving forward to where his lips were close to yours as if to hearten a kiss. “…but, if it were feasible, I wouldn’t mind taking that step within you sometime in the coming months.” 

Just as you thought to blindly agree to the notion you both were alerted to the sound of something breaking into pieces upon the floor. Jerking your head in the direction of your front door, you saw Ignis standing there looking quite shaken and paralyzed in fear. While Anduin was confused and questioned the matter, you merely had to look into Ignis’ eyes to see the heartbreak that ripped through them to know what was bothering him. 

“F-Forgive me,” Ignis apologized, taking to his knees to quickly pick up the pieces of the teacups. He had gone to fetch drinks to serve upon request earlier in the conversation. “It is unlike me to be this irresponsible…!” 

Anduin moved Ignitus into your arms, allowing him to head over to aid Ignis in cleaning up the mess. “Are you all right, Ignis?” 

“I-I got this, your Highness,” Ignis insisted, wishing he could be left alone to pick up the mess there before him. “No need to trouble yourself for my mistakes.” 

“It’s absolutely fine,” said Anduin, helping your advisor regardless. 

Bringing Ignitus close to your chest, you swallowed back the pain that equally bubbled up inside of you. It was so difficult to accept everything that was happening around you. You wished you could go to Ignis’ side and assure him it would be okay, but you knew words by this point were merely a nice sedative to ignore the hellfire pouring in from all around you.

 

**\--Months Later--**

 

You never thought the word ‘daddy’ would bring such an unsettling ring to your heart, but every time Ignitus said it, you would witness Anduin jump into action while Ignis nearly did the same on impulse if he were nearby. Ignitus was slowly learning how to ignore using the term to Ignis and putting the title more on Anduin as nobody silenced him from the act, making the boy less confused. 

It was such a dagger to Ignis’ own heart, and you witnessed it every moment he was nearby to be a spectator to his son’s change. The man who had once jumped at every moment possible to spend with his child had become strained to where it merely aided in the change in the young boy. 

Anytime you tried to talk to Ignis about it, even in private, he would insist he was fine while avoiding eye contact with you. It truly felt as though he was doing his best to ignore the world and goings on about him unless you, Anduin, or Ignitus were in need of his services. 

Trying to escape the painful thought of it all was impossible for even in your bedchambers the ice star remained in perfection condition—an everlasting memory of the painstaking process Ignis went through to prove his love for you. It taunted you every morning, noon, and night you dared to gaze upon it. You made a promise and you broke even that to the man you confessed such a thing to. 

At times you found yourself curling up on your bed when alone, shivering and sobbing at all of the negative emotions you felt about yourself. 

You lied…you broke someone’s heart…you bore a child out of wedlock, disgracing so many…you made a promise you couldn’t even keep…You felt like such a failure who didn’t deserve any happy ending whatsoever at times… 

Your thoughts were getting horrifically dark as you felt caged, tied down and refused freedom or any sort of salvation. The chains about you only weighed all the heavier from your sins. To pray and beg the gods for any light whatsoever seemed selfish for all you had done as you felt you deserved nothing. Watching Ignis suffer so horribly in absolute silence made you feel any blade to your throat would be better than witnessing that ever again. 

The mental ache was blinding to the point your own weary and emotionally drugged body dragged itself to the kitchen one late evening to be alone with the very blades that seemed to sing sweetly to you. It was late enough to where you weren’t even concerned who would see or hear you. Perhaps one of the guards or servants said something to you in the corridor but you weren’t even entirely sure given how much you had tuned out that twilight. 

As the hilt of a knife touched your fingertips you heard a voice pierced through the darkness and managed to reach you, though it wasn’t one you wished to hear. 

“Even I'm to assist that you should be asleep, my Lady,” Skylar grumbled, catching your attention. When you didn’t respond right away, the servant took to your side and removed the knife from your hands forcefully but with enough caution that it didn’t cut either of you. Even if the room was merely lit by the in pouring moonlight from the arched windows, Skylar’s icy-blue eyes glistened with a sort of cruelness that nearly made your blood run cold. “Even you should be forced to live with your mistakes,” she hissed vaguely. 

Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe it was anger, stress, or resentment, but you snapped. Hand to Skylar’s neck, you pinned her against the nearby wall with a horrific thud that didn’t break you from your enraged trance. “I want answers—what is it you know and how do you know about it!” 

She wasn’t even fazed by the act. If anything, she coughed from the loss of breath from impact but a wicked grin still etched its way upon her features. “My, my, Lady Y/N. I didn’t expect such a response from—!” 

“Answer me!” you demanded, squeezing her throat just a bit harder to show you were done with this game. “Did Tameria tell you something!” 

Seriousness took her form once more and Skylar easily batted away your hold knowing she had the upper hand in the matter regardless your status. “Weakling told me nothing of the sort as I already had my suspicions, Lady Y/N,” the servant confessed, fixing her attire you had ruffled in the process of holding her. “But honestly, do you think you and Ignis were even the least bit quiet or cautious as you thought?” She scoffed with a roll of her eyes and a curl of her upper lip in disgust. “These walls may very well be made of marble, my Lady, but sounds carry, and your little… ** _escapades_** with your advisor have hardly gone unnoticed by me and a few others.” 

You gasped at her words, losing the energy to even stand as you wobbled to and fro. 

“Did you plan on merely having Ignis’ children while his Highness Anduin remained unaware?” Skylar boldly questioned, crossing her arms over her chest. “All love children from Princess Y/N are actually those of her advisor and hardly her husband to be.” She smirked that ever venomous smirk once more. “So scandalous, my Lady. Tis a story that would sell quite proudly.”

“If the laws didn’t bind me like a slave, demanding my loyalty in the matter of what resides ahead, I would see to it that the world knew my love for him!” you hissed bravely in the moonlight, not backing down from this verbal fight with Skylar. 

“So in love are you?” Skylar asked pessimistically. “Is that why he plans his leave in a few days to head home to Tenebrae?” 

Your eyes widened, breath beaten from you by that news that had come seemingly out of nowhere. It felt more like a threat than anything. “You lie…!” you said in an angered hiss, backing away from her and the verbal weapon she wielded. “Ignis wouldn’t leave without saying something to me! He’s my friend!” 

“Some _friend_ , my Lady,” Skylar sighed in a taunting manner, digging into her pocket to pull out a piece of paper for you to read. You took it eagerly as she reclined against the wall, waiting joyfully for your response. “Paperwork regarding his resigning from his position and departure for Tenebrae. He blames personal matters at home that require his full attention, but I am certain you know what these vague details truly imply.” 

It was all official, even if a copy of sorts Skylar managed to sneak out of your father’s office. Your eyes continued to read it again and again in disbelief. It all felt like such a nightmare turned reality. “But…he-he swore he would never leave me…” Your tears threatened to tear apart the parchment you held as they bled through the paper. 

You hadn’t the strength to hold it much longer, making it easy for Skylar to take back and pocket it where she originally held it. “Get to bed, my Lady, before I tell the castle her Princess is suicidal as well,” she threatened, growing tired of the conversation. 

Your legs were heavy as lead, making it nearly impossible to even find your footing for a moment. Shambling down the intricate corridors, you hurried as fast as you were able to Ignis’ bedroom door. In the moment you weren’t thinking clearly, and without even so much as a knock, you opened the door and allowed yourself inside to hurry to his bedside where you could see he was sleeping with his back turned to you. 

Bare feet tapping upon the floor, you accidentally shocked him awake when you placed your hands upon his upper arm nearest you. Ignis paused in his heavy breathing, stifling the surprised gasp that would come from an unexpected urgency in which you gently shook him awake. “You said you wouldn’t leave!” you exclaimed in as much of a whisper as possible knowing Anduin was right next door in your own bedroom with Ignitus. 

“My Lady…” Ignis was so exhausted and still a bit disoriented from what was going on that he had a difficult time even remembering where his lamp was to turn the lights on. 

“ ** _Why_** …Why are you leaving and not telling me!” 

Fondling for his glasses after some form of light filled the air, Ignis massaged the bridge of his nose before moving onto his bare back to get a better look at you. He was still confused and trying to bring himself out of slumber. “Who told you this?” Ignis merely was curious, not even denying that it was false. 

“Skylar!” 

He nasally sighed, bending his arm over his forehead as if to silence a headache he had. “My Lady…I cannot do this anymore,” Ignis confessed, lowering his arm to his chest. Even if it was indeed the hour as well, he looked so emotionally tired. As though a single pin could drop and make him fall apart. It was unlike him. He was usually the strong one of the both of you and now he had never looked so frail before. 

“Ignis…!” 

“—I cannot go on pretending he is not mine and feigning I do not love you as you’ve insisted I do,” he continued in a painful whisper. “The best way to resolve this is to remove myself from this of which I’ve done. I will easily accept my consequences in Tenebrae…in solitude…Allowing you to marry his Highness and do as you were destined to by birthright.”                       

When he threatened to turn away from you to go back to sleep, you grabbed at his arm again with a shake of your head. “Ignis, you can’t do this! I'm sorry—I—!” 

“This discussion is over, Princess,” Ignis said firmly, gently brushing your touch away from him. “I must sleep and you should do the same.” 

Bringing your hands to your chest, you felt your heart shatter. You had never felt him so coldly brush your hand away before but a part of you felt you deserved it. After all you had done to him in the past several years, none of it felt fair without you having your just reward.

 

\---------

 

You were completely numb, staring at the wall or even just sitting on the balcony for hours on end, having hardly the energy you wanted to spend with your son or others. It was more Anduin than Ignis who was there to try and insist you eat or do something other than act as though your soul had left you. When it came time for Ignis to depart for Tenebrae, you debated on what to do. 

Should you just not see him off? It would be a cruel thing to do and even he wanted you to at least have the heart in you to do such a thing regardless of how you personally felt about this. 

“My Lady,” spoke one of the servants, her hands folded before her working attire. When you turned to acknowledge her, she bowed respectfully. “I was informed to tell you that Ignis will be leaving soon for Tenebrae. He has asked for you. Did you wish to see him off?” 

You turned to gaze back out at the city on the sea. It was a beautiful day. The sky was the bluest you’d ever seen it, with the wind giving the most gentle and perfect sea scented breeze but why? At times you wondered why the world couldn’t reflect how much of a torrent of despair raged inside of you. 

Needles felt like they tore into your legs the moment you chose to stand but you ignored the pain and went inside of your bedroom to take Ignitus from the servants who were watching him closely when it came to him playing there on the floor. “Come on, baby,” you whispered. “Let’s say goodbye to Ignis.” 

The worst part of it was Ignitus didn’t truly understand that Ignis was going to leave and never return. You tried to get him to in the days leading up to this moment but nothing truly stuck. Ignitus was insistent on the idea Ignis would come back somehow. 

Seeing his luggage there near the front doors of the palace made your heart break all the more. Upon requested you asked all three be alone in the main lobby for a moment. Given how many years you two had known one another, nobody saw fit to argue. You preferred your son go first, handing him over to Ignis as you folded your hands and bowed your head in sorrow. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Ignis began with a sigh, holding his son tightly as he didn’t want to do this, but he knew it had to be done for his own wellbeing. “I'm sorry I have to leave you both, but I need to go home to my family.” 

“But you come back.” Ignitus still insisted on the idea that Ignis would return, not able to imagine the man never being there. 

Ignis’ lips thinned as he reluctantly shook his head. “I'm sorry, son, but no.” He breathed steadily, trying to keep himself from crying no doubt as he casually moved a few stray strands of Ignitus back into alignment. “I have to go back to my own home and stay there. If the gods would allow, I would take you with me, but I cannot.” Ignis kissed his son on the cheek and hugged him close. “I love you more than anything—don’t let anybody tell you differently.” 

When Ignis’ eyes fell upon you, you weren’t even sure how to respond. Anything you wanted to do felt now as though it were ‘out of bounds’ and could harm either of you all the worse. “I'm sorry,” you whimpered, keeping to yourself as a hug or even a kiss on the cheek seemed too personal. 

Ignis kissed Ignitus once more before helping him to the floor so his arms could be freed. He guided you into his embrace and hugged you tightly. “I'm sorry too. I'm sorry I couldn’t be stronger in this,” he whispered close to your ear. “Be well, Princess Y/N…” 

When he removed from the hug, you felt that the conversation was too brief given all the times you had shared and years you had been together. It hurt more than gave any closure as Ignis picked up his belongings and headed for the door. Ignitus hurried after him but to no avail. The doors shut in time, leaving him to lightly pound on them and beg for his father to come back with tears in his eyes. 

If you cried anymore, you felt you would endure dehydration. Your body was too weak to care to even bother anymore as you took Ignitus back to your bedroom to try and get the distraught child to sleep at least. After being successful in doing so, your eyes wandered to the ice star to notice that a letter had been propped there possibly by one of the servants as you hadn’t noticed it there before. 

It was still very much written to you in Ignis’ handwriting, making you open it in haste. 

_Y/N,_

_I'm deeply regretful for the path I must take ahead. Regardless of how much life I deteriorated from our once union, I still cherish it and wished I had the courage and strength to confess the truth before the court and ask for your hand in marriage._

_Death does not scare me as much as you may think it so. What scares me is living these years ahead without you and our son beside me. In death, I could still have your love should you never forget me or allow our son the same. I could wait for you, knowing you’d be there for me in the end, but now I don’t even have that paradise yearning to embrace me in the afterlife, and I have turned bitter…cold…my heart has rotted in its icy chasm, and I cannot allow you to be around me to bear witness to this any longer._

_Life has never felt so meaningless to me, and I am frightened for the first time in the many years I drew breath._

_You would blame yourself but it took the two of us to make this child, giving rise and birth to these decisions. At any time I could have told you ‘no’, but I wanted it. I fed the sensation because I was gluttonous and wanted more than what I was allowed to have._

_Y/N, I still love you with all of my heart, and it is why I must leave. Knowing I cannot have you has me engrossed in these awful emotions I’ve never allowed to roam in the forefront. I need to depart…no matter how much it has killed me, causing me to cry at all hours of loneliness at the ultimate decision I needed to enforce in order to feel some sort of cleansing of my damned soul._

_Should you ever need me still, then I ask you run away with me. Run from the chains that bind you there for a time and see if for certain you do love me. I have left my address for you to come and find me should you wish to talk of this, but not right now…_

_Let you and I sober up from the intoxication of this moment of hopelessness. Let us see if with a clearer mind we still love the other._

_What was meant to be will return, and I pray to come back to you, my Lady._

_Forever yours,_

_Ignis Scientia_


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Made this a bit longer than the others since I don't know when I'll get a chance to get back to it! I say that more as a means of 'I got other things I wanna write and things I'm paid to write and also I got a new shiny paint program that I'm learning to use, and I love it', really.
> 
> Enjoy my killing writing ghosts that have haunted me for like a year. So glad to finally get some of these scenes out of my head.

You never felt so dead inside before. With Ignis gone, days felt like weeks, and weeks felt like months…The only reason you ever found a moment to pull yourself out of bed was for your son. Anduin tried with all his might to get you to eat properly and at least venture beyond the castle walls but nothing really prompted such a drive from you for very long. 

There were times you’d open your phone and look at Ignis’ phone number, debating on whether or not to call or text him. You did punch in a few lines in thought to text him now and again, but in the end, you never sent any of it. However, when Ignitus’ third birthday was approaching, you had to consider the thought. 

It had been months now since Ignis’ departure and at the end of the day, Ignitus was indeed his birth son. Fingers tapped nervously on the chair you sat within outside on the balcony for a bit of peace while Anduin watched over your son for you. Ignis did say in the letter he would return when he felt the time was right but it had nearly been a year since he left and the man hadn’t said or done anything during that time to talk to you. 

Did he finally believe he was better without you in his life? The thought destroyed your heart—made you sick. Even after all this time, you still loved him dearly. 

Biting back the thought of being too scared to say or do anything, you quickly hit the call button and nervously waited for him to pick up. Maybe if he had your number deleted, he wouldn’t know who was calling anyways. For a bit, the phone rang with no answer, and you weren’t sure whether to feel relief or sorrow… 

“Hello?” Ignis’ groggy tone mumbled. 

You were aware it was a little late in comparison to where you lived but it wasn’t that late. It had to be about dinnertime for people in Tenebrae, so you weren’t sure what had him so tired. “H-Hi…umm, Ignis? It’s me, Y/N.” 

The bed he was apparently lying on moaned faintly over the phone as Ignis let those words register. “Lady Y/N? I'm surprised to hear from you.” 

You tried to laugh off the statement. “Why? Did you think I wouldn’t call you…?” 

“I supposed you would just be content in time without my presence to be a bother,” Ignis said quietly. 

“You were never a bother,” you insisted, cradling the phone close to your cheek. You wished he were there so you could actually soothe him beyond a simple vocal reassurance. “To be honest, I…I called you because our son’s birthday will be soon, and I know you cannot magically make it over here but if you could at least call him…?” You weren’t even sure how to ask this properly. “I can try to get him away from everybody so you and him can do a video chat or something.” 

“I can if you don’t mind me doing so, my Lady.” 

He sounded almost disappointed—as though he was expecting the call to mean something else. If it were as you feared, you still had no idea how to make things work. You wanted Ignis to be beside you and to love him once more but there was nothing around you that made this easy. Even when he suggested you go to him in his letter…you had no idea how. The times you traveled you were always escorted given your status and this would require you to be alone—something you’d never done before, and it terrified you. 

“You know you can just call me Y/N, Iggy,” you reminded him. 

“You are a princess, my Lady, so by protocol—.” 

“Screw protocol!” you growled with a roll of your eyes. “It’s the reason we’re even in this mess!” 

Ignis didn’t respond but you could hear him nasally sigh on the other side of the line. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Your former advisor seemed to hum in confusion at that comment. “It sounded like I woke you up or something. Did you get another job?” 

“Merely been working about the house for the past several months,” Ignis answered. “My parents are letting me stay here while I decide what I wish to do with myself.” 

For some reason, you were scared to ask what those options might very well be, but you knew it would give you reasons to be on the phone longer with him at the very least. “Any ideas in what you’d like to do?” 

“Well…” Ignis paused, thinking about the job openings. “The obvious would be the advisor to the Princess of Tenebrae, there is the restaurant thought my father has been so kind to keep elbowing me about since my arrival back, my mother has offered me to aid her with the store she runs in the bazaar, and the final thought is being a history teacher at the nearby school.” 

The last one caught you a bit by surprise. “History teacher? You never struck me as the type.” 

It was the first time in a long while you heard him stifle a small chuckle. “To be a decent advisor one needs to be versed in the history and cultures of Eos, so the two can easily go hand in hand.” There was an uncomfortable silence for a time as if he too dreaded to ask something about you in return. “When will the marriage commence between you and his Highness?” 

Your lips moved inward, unsure if you even wanted to talk about that. “Anduin considered the idea of having a winter wedding,” you reluctantly responded. “I…To my understanding, we may have it by the end of the year.” 

You could almost hear Ignis’ heart break on the other side of the line in that single, audible sigh. “You will have to call me when it is free to talk to Ignitus.” It was as though he was avoiding discussing the matter further. In the past he would have had far more strength to pretend this was all right with a willingness to support you, but now it was as though the mask he usually wore truly had fallen to shambles, and Ignis lacked the care to piece it back together again. 

You flinched, grasping your phone tightly as you wished he could help you get out of this situation. Even a lie of how things would be all right would be welcomed by this point. “I’ll call you when I can then…I hope you have a good night, Iggy.” 

“Good evening, my Lady,” Ignis responded quietly in return before hanging up the phone. 

With the line quiet, you pulled the phone from your ear just a bit only to bring it back as if thinking he were still on the other end. You knew he wasn’t, but that didn’t stop you from uttering, “I love you…”

 

\---------------------------

 

Anduin treated Ignitus with the love and care any father would. You could hardly say the man wasn’t a perfect fit to be a father to your child but it ate at you regardless knowing that the boy truly wasn’t his. You wished you had the courage to tell your betrothed the truth but you still feared what it would all bring upon you and Ignis, even if he were in Tenebrae. You wished you had the courage to tell anybody anything but be it the dreams, your own inner doubts, or the servants being horrible…you weren’t sure what was the best course of action any longer. Darkness felt as though it were snuffing out any and all light around you, nearly driving you mad. Honestly, the one piece of light you once had in such trying times had fled to Tenebrae. 

When Anduin took his leave to do a quick video call to check in on his men still trying to keep the plague at bay, you grabbed up your son and headed out to the balcony with your phone. “Want to talk to Iggy, baby?” you asked, cradling him into your lap as you began to call Ignis. 

Ignitus nodded excitedly as he kept a tight hold on his new favorite unicorn toy. The boy always loved his unicorns. That wasn’t something that seemed to change in the past few years. There were some that felt he should be into more ‘boyish’ things, but even you felt it was unfair to put labels on what a boy or a girl could enjoy given even the women who joined the army ranks and the men who went to cooking. 

You hoped it wasn’t too late to call Ignis as you weren’t able to really get away from anybody to try and do so till it was close to eight at night your time. “Maybe he’ll still be up,” you whispered to yourself, cradling Ignitus close to your chest as the phone rang. 

“Hello?” Ignis’ tone was a bit confused and weary, as though he had just been woken up from sleeping. 

“Sorry, Ignis. Did I disturb you?” 

“Forgive me, my Lady,” Ignis yawned. “I was working a bit harder out on the field today, so time and my own energy escaped me.” 

“Working in the garden, hu?” You tried to find a reason to smile at him doing something so modern. “Are you awake enough to do a video call with me real fast?” 

“Of course, just forgive me for how I look.” 

You scoffed at the thought, setting up the phone to where the three of you could talk without any problems. When the connection was established, you saw Ignis merely had his hair down and a bit messier than usual. Maybe it was the lighting or the hour but it looked like your former advisor was far more tired than usual. 

“Iggy! Iggy!” Ignitus chanted, grabbing at the phone to try and bring it closer to him. You held it fast but in doing so, you did notice Ignis smiling brightly at just being able to see his son once more. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Ignis replied, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “Happy birthday. Did you have a fun time?” 

“I got this unicorn!” Ignitus moved the white plush into view, hoping that Ignis could see it on the other side of the phone. “See?” 

“Yes, I do.” Ignis smiled, reclining back against his bed’s headrest. “It looks quite lovely. I am sure you got many other wonderful things as well.” 

“Too many,” you playfully interrupted. “Most of it was from mother and father, really. They bested me and my attempt.” You decided to leave out the mention of Anduin, not wishing to ruin the moment. 

“Are you coming back?” Ignitus asked Ignis, making you freeze and even your former advisor lose his breath. The question came seemingly out of nowhere. 

Ignis jerked his head back at the question, unaware his son would ask such a thing. “Well, I—.” 

“Baby, we talked about this before,” you interrupted, knowing this sort of question was hard on Ignis as you knew he had no intention of returning. “Iggy has to stay in his home across the sea right now.” 

Ignitus looked painfully from you to Ignis and then back again. His eyes were heavy with a sort of upset that you weren’t even aware was there. “Why…?” Your son brought the stuffed animal closer to his chest. “Was I bad…? Did I do bad…?” 

The both of you jumped in at the same time, insisting otherwise. “No, of course not!” You cradled your son’s cheeks, getting him to look at you. “Why would you think such a thing?” 

Ignitus struggled to answer, burying his face a bit behind the stuffed animal he held. “The ladies say…” 

You looked to Ignis over the phone to notice him sitting upright with a furious frown at those words he could just make out over the line. “Which ladies, son?” When he witnessed Ignitus clam up even more, he did his best to calm himself. “Nobody’s going to get in trouble, sweetheart. Just tell me who told you that.” 

When Ignitus still struggled to answer, you rocked your leg ever slightly to try and coax the answer from him. “Go on, baby. Who is saying that?”

“Th-The ladies I see some…mmm…” He mumbled the last few parts but you knew who he was referring to now.

You sighed, rolling your eyes at the mere thought. Skylar and the other servants who were known to gossip about Ignis’ leaving had been tending to Ignitus when you and Anduin weren’t about. There were times you did your best to be certain they never got a hold of him but because depression was such a heavy stone upon your body, it was difficult to wake up in time to stop the servants from taking care of him in yours or Anduin’s absence. “Baby, don’t listen to them, okay? You did nothing wrong.” 

“I have to be here because I missed my home,” Ignis lied, trying to make things simple for Ignitus to understand. “Trust me, son, when I tell you that I love you more than anything and nothing will ever change that.” 

“I should probably get him to bed,” you said, taking to your feet to prepare to do so. 

“I need to speak with you afterwards.” 

Ignis’ words were hard and stern on the matter, but you understood why and nodded. “I’ll have to call you back then. Give me just a moment, Iggy.” Turning to Ignitus, you nudged him with your nose against his cheek. “Say goodnight to Iggy, baby. He has to go to bed too.” 

Ignitus pulled the stuffed toy from his face, opening and closing his hand as a means to wave goodbye. “Night, Iggy.” 

“Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well. I love you.” Kissing his own fingertips, Ignis motioned them towards the phone before waving his own goodbye for now, allowing you to end the call. 

Pocketing your phone for the time being, you nuzzled against Ignitus’ cheek all the more with a series of kisses. “Don’t listen to those ladies, honey. You are a sweet and amazing boy that Ignis would have taken with you if he could.” 

“Can we see him?” Ignitus asked as you got him situated into his crib for the night. 

The question made your heart beat rapidly. You knew if you went to do so it would be the moment you finally had the courage to actually run away with him and figure out if being with him was the best choice. To be out of view of servants, your people, betrothed, and your parents…it sounded like such a nice vacation, honestly. 

“Maybe, baby… _Maybe_. For now, you need to sleep. It is far past your bedtime.” Trying to situate him in the crib you hummed with a twist of your mouth, noting how much bigger he was lately. “I need to get you an actual big boy bed. You might be getting too old for using this one now. Goodnight, sweetheart. I love you.” 

Afterward, you took back out to the balcony, calling Ignis to talk to him about the matter earlier. He answered without hesitation, apparently waiting for the call. 

“Don’t let those vile women near my son again,” Ignis ordered without so much as a greeting. “The very idea they’re filling his head with such lies sickens me.” 

“I’ll do my best.” It was the only thing you could promise given how difficult it was to even wake up in the morning. 

“Princess, are you even eating properly?” 

You were confused as to why he would ask such a thing but out of anybody in the palace, Ignis seemed to know you the best no matter the distance that kept you apart. “Why do you ask such a silly thing?” 

“The fact that I can tell from our previous call you’ve lost a lot of weight,” Ignis answered, a somber sigh heard ever faintly over the phone. 

Sitting down on the padded chair, your eyes gazed to the stars. “It’s just been hard lately, Iggy…” You didn’t want to try and put any blame on him as you knew this was equally difficult for him in some ways. “There’s so much going on around me that I feel I can hardly breathe let alone care to eat…” 

“At the very least, out of it all, think of our son,” Ignis reminded you in desperation. “Don’t be reckless, leaving that boy in the hands of strangers—I beg of you.” 

Thinking about it once more, you felt the tears trickle over your cheeks as you sniffled back the sadness. “Things are just so hard, Ignis…I wish you were here.” 

Ignis was silent but you could hear him breathe out his sorrow. “I apologize that I cannot be there for you, my Lady, but I need to remain here.” 

You wanted to ask if he even loved you anymore, but you were scared of the answer at this point. “I understand.” You did your best to silence your heaving given how horribly upset you were. “I need to go to bed, and I know you do too as it’s late over there.” 

“Indeed.” Ignis went quiet, perhaps pondering on what else he could truly say but nothing seemed to come to him. “Goodnight, my Lady. Sleep well.” 

Hearing such a generic goodnight was painful, making your heart squeeze in agony. All you could even muster to say was goodnight in return before hanging up the phone to think on what to do. He had given you the power to go and see him if you wished and with how the walls felt as though they were getting closer to you by the day with your own wedding approaching, you knew you had to escape somehow or you’d go mad.

 

\-----------

 

If you had to go another moment chained by your grief of not having Ignis beside you, you knew it wouldn’t end well for you. With how often you had gone numb throughout the days and even having to endure the horrific thought of those women mistreating your own son, you took time privately to begin packing a few of your belongings and Ignitus’ before waking your son well after midnight to sneak out of the palace and head to the docks. 

The boat ran at all hours and the lightest boarding times were usually after eleven in the evening till five or so in the morning. Given the slightly cooler evening, you knew you wouldn’t be looked at any differently if you wore a hood to obscure your appearance, not wishing for anybody to alert the palace of where you may have gone. You had given a letter for Anduin to find, telling him you needed to escape, and you were sorry that you couldn’t say more but promising you were all right and not to worry. 

You were sure it would do little good as the entire palace would be in an uproar with its princess missing, but you had to see Ignis. You had to find out if he was truly just trying to move on or perhaps he would be happiest being beside you without restraints. 

You were aware that if the people on the ship heading out to Niflheim were questioned they would confess they saw you but they had a large landmass to hunt for you and nobody truly knew where Ignis lived even if they had a suspicion of where you could be. With enough peace on the matter at your side, you boarded the ship without using a fake identity, merely getting a curious look by the man in charge who was taking boarding passes. 

“Please,” you begged, hoping they wouldn’t report you to your parents. “I know the hour is suspicious but it was the only time I could truly depart for Niflheim to see to a few things.” Ignitus was beginning to get a bit fussy, not used to being up so late, but you did your best to quiet him by rocking the young boy in your arms. 

Noticing the young prince and understanding how tired he was, the man stepped to the side. “Go on, Lady Y/N. The hour is late and you both should find rest in your cabin.” 

“Bless you,” you breathed in praise as those available aided you in getting your luggage onto the ship and to the proper room. 

There wasn’t really a crib available and you didn’t bother to dismantle and bring the one from the palace, so you had to see to it your son shared a bed with you in worry if he slept in his own, he would roll off onto the floor and hurt himself. He seemed fine with it for a time but as the first day passed you noticed he was getting increasingly upset and even sick. 

He was vomiting so much that you began to worry about the idea costing you your son. The medical staff mentioned it was probably seasickness and offered remedies and ideas to at least stabilize him given how long the ship would take to reach Niflheim.

It was heartbreaking and hard to endure. Ignitus was so miserable that you weren’t even sure if you could go back home right away if things with Ignis didn’t work out as intended. There were moments you debated on calling him just to ask for some advice or perhaps ask him to help your son through the miserable days ahead but even during the hours you did find the courage to call, your calls went unanswered. 

You knew he had retired from the advisor position and he had no right to constantly answer the phone, but it still hurt in ways you couldn’t describe. It was so alien not having Ignis respond right away to your missed messages. Were you even doing the right thing anymore…? Would he want to see you at his doorstep? 

When you finally got Ignitus off of the ship and your feet touched dry land you felt relief wash over you even if you could tell the boy was exhausted and still a bit miserable. “Once we get to Iggy’s place we’ll get you cleaned up and with better clothing, baby.” 

You had to take a train to get to Tenebrae next. Even if they were slightly different in terms of motion, you still worried it would upset the boy again, so you made sure his snacks and everything were light for him before boarding. When the train took off, everything seemed to go just fine. Even Ignitus bugged you eagerly for the thought of coloring in his coloring books and while you resisted at first, you eventually gave in so he wouldn’t raise a fuss. 

Surprisingly, the train motion did little to bother him. You couldn’t understand why. In comparison the ship wasn’t that wobbly to you but maybe Ignitus was just super sensitive to the ocean and rocking of the boat that you couldn’t even feel. 

“Why does daddy stay here?” Ignitus asked, keeping his attention on the coloring book he had his nose buried in to keep himself occupied from the hours ahead. 

“Because he was born here, baby.” 

Ignitus continued to be curious. “But he was back home with us. That is his home.” 

“Yes, but he wasn’t born in the palace like you and mommy,” you said, leaning against the nearby window to try and relax. Traveling was so exhausting indeed. Just thinking about it back home was one thing but actually doing it was another. “His mommy and daddy live here where he was born.” 

Ignitus paused in his coloring, looking over at you curiously. “Why does he not come back?” 

Hearing that question again, you sighed through your nostrils wishing it were easy to explain. “That’s a long story, sweetheart.” You turned to him, stroking his cheek tenderly. “Just know that he loves you so much and this decision was very hard on him.” 

The train felt never ending—worse than the ship at times. You supposed it was the fact you were sitting way more on the train than the boat but regardless, you were glad to be off and on your way to Ignis’ home. It was nearly nightfall when you spotted the lone one-story house on the hill not far from the Tenebrae market square. This had to be the place. You could even just see the wooden fence keeping in a garden in the back area of the building. 

When you got closer, you noted the garden was of a decent size for one man to handle. Even in the dim lighting of the setting sun, you noticed there were a few vegetables and fruits growing all neatly in a row. The house itself was beautiful with a white wooded body and soft-blue painted doors, roof, and windows. There was a little porch out front with a padded bed swing just to the right of the entryway. The breeze was moving it ever so slightly, causing the chains to rattle just a bit. 

“Okay, baby—you remember what I said, right?” You pulled Ignitus from your arms, looking him seriously in the eyes. “When mommy says ‘hi, Mr. Scientia’, you say…?” 

Hearing your voice trail off, Ignitus smiled at his cue. “Hi, grandpa.” 

You began fixing Ignitus’ collar, noticing that it had gotten turned up a bit from him sleeping earlier on the ride over. “Good, and if I say ‘hi, Mrs. Scientia’, what do you say?” 

“Hi, grandma.” 

“And if we see Iggy, what do you say?” you asked eagerly, taking his hands into yours. 

Ignitus’ smile only got bigger at the thought, as if happy to finally be able to say it again. “Hi, daddy.” 

“Good, good,” you praised, having been working on that for the past few days getting over to Tenebrae. You knew hiding this right out the gate wouldn’t do any good for anybody and whether or not Ignis had said anything to his parents, you were fine to take that step somewhere and break the ice about it. If they tried to get upset at him, you would gladly take the blame fully for him. 

Picking Ignitus back up, you moved him onto your hip while hurrying to the front door while your luggage was in the carriage just at the bottom of the hill, waiting for you to return. Nervously, you rapped your knuckles on the front door. 

Voices could be heard muffled from the other side, the doorknob twisted and there before you stood Aurdis Scientia. The tall man loomed over you, his brown hair very much the same as the pictures you saw before only looking a bit grayer about the ears you noticed. His brown eyes stared not at you but at Ignitus, looking quite perturbed and as though he had seen a ghost of some sort. 

“H-Hello, Mr. Scientia,” you greeted. “I was—.” 

“Hi, grandpa,” Ignitus accidentally interrupted, burying his face against your neck as he had never seen this man before. 

You paused, turning to Ignitus with a kiss to his head. “Good boy.” Seeing your son trying to put his fingers in his mouth, you removed them with a kiss once more to his face. “Don’t do that, baby.” You turned your attention back to Aurdis. “Sorry to disturb you, but I was hoping we might find Ignis here…?” 

Aurdis seemed to lose his ability to speak given everything that rushed him at once. Blinking rapidly, he came back to himself and bowed respectfully before you. “He is, my Lady, I ummm…” Pausing, he turned and shouted more into the house but his eyes never ventured away from Ignitus. “ ** _Honey!_** ” 

“What on Eos are you carrying on about?” Ignis’ mother, Igneilya, pondered in a playful groan of sorts as she made it to her husband’s side. She was indeed quite small compared to the man she married. She only came up to just under his chest. Her blonde hair was tied back in an upward bun, parts of her hair spiraling in small curls about her cheeks with bangs parted to the sides. It was weird to admit inwardly but it seriously looked in her face like Ignis was staring back at you given the family resemblance. The moment she stopped at the door and noticed who it was, her eyes too went to Ignitus on impulse—seeming to as well go into a state of disbelief. “Lady Y/N…! What brings you here?” 

You tried to look past them just to see if Ignis was indeed inside somewhere. All you could make out was apparently the kitchen and dining area and a small corridor that eventually led into the living room. A sofa was slightly visible just past the arched entrance leading into the connected room with a TV in front of it, but you saw no signs of Ignis at the moment. “Mrs. Scientia, I was wondering if Ignis was perhaps nearby?” 

“Hi, grandma,” Ignitus mumbled a bit, apparently a bit shy with these two new faces around him. 

Hearing that title, Igneilya placed her hand upon her chest as if to still her beating heart. “Y-Yes, my Lady. He’s actually just in the living room here.” 

“Where are your bags?” Aurdis asked, finding it bizarre that you’d come all this way with nothing. “Are you staying at a hotel?” 

“No, no, I do have my bags in the carriage just down the road from the house. I told the man to wait for me so we could go to a hotel—.” 

Aurdis instantly waved away your words after you mentioned such a thing, walking past you and heading down the stairs of the porch. “I’ll fetch them, my Lady. It would be silly for you to stay at a hotel if you’ve ventured this far.” 

You wanted to disagree on the matter, not wanting to make Ignis uncomfortable with your being there even for the night but Aurdis was already on his way down the road to where he could just see the carriage in time near their mailbox. 

“This way, my Lady,” Igneilya said, leading you inside a bit more so she could shut the door given how much colder Tenebrae’s nights seemed to get in comparison to Altissia’s. 

The kitchen was so small compared to what you were used to, but in its size you found it to be quite cozy and quaint. There weren’t ten or more people walking back and forth to make impressive meals, it was just nice and quiet. Several shelves were lined with products on the right you didn’t quite recognize in terms of brand. From cookies, to cooking ingredients, to cereals—none of them looked familiar to you. A cute cat cookie jar did catch your attention there on the counter near the refrigerator with a spice rack right beside it. 

Going into the living room you saw the leather sofa a bit better. A coffee table was set in the middle of the room with two chairs on the left and right of it. The wooden media display was massive, showcasing all kinds of pictures of the family with books and a few movies as well. You admired the room only to feel Ignis was missing…until you noticed his arm come up upon the sofa to where he pulled himself from where he was apparently lying down. 

“Lady Y/N…?” Ignis questioned with a sharp gasp of confusion. 

When Ignis took to his feet you felt horrible. Over the phone those many weeks ago, he looked so tired and now getting a better look at him in person he not only looked weary (with a bit of a beard too he had yet to shave) but almost weightless—as though he had been doing nothing but working about the house and sleeping. He too apparently hadn’t been eating well either and it showed in how almost sunken in his features appeared. 

“Ignis, I—.” 

“Daddy!” Ignitus cheered, reaching out for Ignis eagerly to where you had to quickly hand him over. Ignis hardly fought the idea, cradling his son close to his chest as he kissed him again and again. 

The title seemed to rejuvenate him in some way. “It’s so good to see you again, sweetheart,” Ignis whispered. 

You turned to Ignis’ mother, expecting her to be furious but she seemed distant…as if uncertain of what to say. “I-I'm sorry if Ignis never said anything, and I'm sure this is a shock but…” 

“He looks just like Ignis did when he was that age,” Igneilya interrupted, not taking her eyes off of the two. She smiled, turning to you with the wrinkles on her brow becoming more dominate when she rose her eyebrows ever slightly. “You could try and tell me that is Prince Anduin’s son, and I’d call you a liar by this point.” 

Her words were gentle and almost accepting. Regardless, Ignis himself still apologized. “Mother, I am sorry about this.” 

You flinched, bowing your head at the thought that Ignis never found a time to tell anybody—not even his own family. 

Igneilya walked over towards her son, opening her arms to ask for Ignitus without so much as a word. Holding the boy in her embrace, she hugged him tightly before nodding to Ignis. “I am sure Lady Y/N is here for a reason. I can watch over Ignitus while you both talk in private if you wish.” 

Walking over to your son, you held his hand tightly. “You’ll behave yourself with grandma, right?” Ignitus nodded, still a bit shy and uncertain about the matter from what you could tell. “Why don’t you show her some of your drawings and things when grandpa gets your bag inside, okay? I’ll be right back, baby.” Departing with a kiss, you followed Ignis down the upper adjoining corridor, heading to the middle door on the left where you were greeted with his bedroom. 

It was the same as you remembered, the only difference was it now looked far more lived in than before with clothes even piled up to the side in a basket that needed to be washed. You spied even a few Ebony cans in the trash and his desk area, forms regarding employment as well here and there to show his interest in starting to work once more. 

“I'm sorry to surprise you like this, Iggy,” you apologized as Ignis started to do his best to tidy up his room. 

“It is quite the surprise, but I appreciate it nonetheless,” Ignis confessed, offering you his desk chair to sit if you so wished to. You refused the offer politely with a raise of your hand and shake of your head. “May I ask, however, **_why_** you’re here, Lady Y/N?” 

“Please, for the sake of me being out of the palace, just call me Y/N,” you pleaded. “As for why I'm here, I just…I really missed you…” 

Ignis sighed, seemingly disappointed. “I do you as well, Y/N, but those are not the words I so cherished to hear…” 

Your arms fell to your sides, shrugging at what he so desperately wanted. “Ignis, we both made a huge mistake—me more than anybody. Ignitus and I love you so much and we just want you back.” 

“But I cannot go back,” Ignis said firmly, twining his fingers together upon his knee. “I cannot return to a life where the woman I love won’t acknowledge me as the man who would do anything for her nor allow me the privilege to openly love the son we made. I just…cannot…” It pained him to say such a thing, but it seemed to be for his best interest he remain in Tenebrae unless something changed. 

“You asked me to run away with you for a time, and I have,” you reminded him, embracing yourself. “I came out here to see if our love truly will withstand against anything. Can we…can we just start over for a spell and pretend none of this truly happened?” 

Just as Ignis was about to respond, there came a tapping on his door. “Ignis, I need you out here to help me get dinner on the table. Will Lady Y/N be staying with us?” 

You weren’t sure if it would be right to answer that. This was on Ignis and his comfort level of you being around, so you turned to him to let him be the one to make that call. 

He struggled with an answer for a moment. “Y-Yes, sir—she is,” he shouted back from the other side of the door. 

The door then opened, Aurdis leaning into the bedroom a bit better. “Then stop making me shout through this door like I'm some old, deaf man and come in here and help me out.” 

“Yes, sir.” Ignis took to his feet, excusing himself to the kitchen where he could aid his father in the dinner preparations. 

You remained in the living room with Ignis’ mother and your son, finding that in a matter of no time at all, Ignitus was a bit more chatty than you anticipated he’d be. Actually having somebody beyond yourself and Ignis take interest in what he had to say seemed to prompt him to come out of his shell all the more. When it was time for dinner, you were a bit nervous to sit down with people you hadn’t seen since you were a child. It was so new…especially with the news that was now on the table. 

“Gonna be real interesting saying everybody’s name given the ‘Igs’ about and such,” Aurdis joked.

“Yeah, if it wasn’t obvious, I named my son after Ignis given who his actual father was,” you said sheepishly. 

“We named Ignis after ourselves,” Igneilya spoke in return, motioning her fork to Ignis who sat at the right end of the table. 

“Correction—you almost wanted to name him after _me_ ,” Aurdis playfully jumped in. “While your genetics had a fine imprint on our son, I wasn’t about to let you get away with giving him some name after me alone.” 

“It’s a lovely name,” you admitted, making Ignis pause in his eating to glance over in your direction. “You chose well.” 

Igneilya twirled the pasta about her fork, nervous to ask what she was about to. “So, how long have you two been together now?” 

“About…three years or longer? I mean, Ignitus came along a bit unexpectedly but the times leading up to that discovery and the moments after were…” You paused, noticing Ignis was staring at you long and hard as if to decipher how you felt about all of this. “…they were turbulent but I enjoyed every moment with him.” 

Your former advisor moved the food about in his mouth, ingesting your words. He acted like some kind of creature that had been taunted by your promises and kindness before and was scared to come out and say he agreed. It hurt to watch and a part of you wished he could understand why you did what you did. His life and your son’s were far more precious than anything. You couldn’t see one gone while the other shattered slowly before you… 

When night came, Ignis stayed to help his father clean up while Igneilya offered to guide Ignitus into a bedroom of his own. The bed, admittedly, was quite large. It had you concerned but the width of it would at least lessen the ability of which Ignitus might fall out onto the floor. 

“I'm afraid we gave up Ignis’ old crib and everything; else, I’d see to it you had such a thing, Y/N,” said Igneilya. “Admittedly, with how disinterested Ignis always seemed in marriage or even children, we never kept the thing just for the sake of grandkids.” 

“Ignitus needs to prepare for an older bed anyways.” You helped your son get comfortable just sitting down on it for the time being. “He was growing out of his crib back home.” 

Igneilya motioned to the hallway. “The first door you passed on your left is the bathroom. If you need to do anything at night, just be mindful of our cat, Cinnamon. She walks around and sleeps where she pleases. Sometimes that means out in the middle of the hallway if Aurdis has accidentally locked her out of the bedroom.” 

You stifled a small laugh at the thought. “Thank you, Mrs. Scientia. I will.” 

“You can call me Igneilya, Y/N,” she insisted, her hand to her chest with a small bow. “I do not mind it seeing as we are all on a first name basis here.” 

Ignitus was a bit uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping in a big bed alone, so for the first night, you offered to be with him. Before you could hope to lie down for the evening, you had to at least prepare in doing so to which you headed for the bathroom only to stop short of doing so when you heard Ignis and his father talking in the kitchen still. 

“So, do you love her?” Aurdis asked. 

“You cannot love somebody if law forbids they love you back,” you heard Ignis answer. The two were washing dishes together after having finished with the table. 

Aurdis laughed bitterly. “For the gods’ sake, I swear—you and your mother are alike.” He shook his head, focusing on the task in front of him. “I ask a question, and you never give me an answer.” 

“I _did_ answer you.” Ignis’ voice was so low and seemingly void of emotion that you worried his own father would see it as Ignis sassing him. 

Regardless, Aurdis retaliated forcefully in a low tone. “Yes, but that’s not what I asked you. I asked do **_you_** love the Princess. I don’t care what everybody else thinks.” 

“Yes, with all my heart; else, I’d not suffer as I do each day,” Ignis reminded him. 

Aurdis sighed. “Do you plan on having anymore?” 

The dirty blond almost dropped the plate in his hands as he motioned in annoyance to Aurdis. “Father, you are missing the point. You cannot have children with someone of her station without the law intervening.” Ignis sounded exasperated, as though he were reaching his wit’s end. 

At that moment from what you saw just down the corridor, Aurdis tossed the dishrag he was using off to the side with such force it made Ignis tense. He turned then with his hand on his hip. Even if it was in the distance, the scolding look on the man’s face spoke volumes to where even Ignis froze in the act of washing the dishes. “You have the nerve to tell us three years later we have a grandson that we cannot even spoil because of your fear of what Eos will do to you? We missed three years of that boy’s life because of this law you’re so frightened of and that is unfair to us!” 

You wanted to run into the room and beg the man to stop. It wasn’t Ignis’ fault at all. He was just doing as you asked of him. 

“You don’t know what they’d do to any of us…” Ignis’ tone had mellowed out, the hostility seemingly gone. “You don’t know what any of this has been like for us!” 

“Maybe not I personally, but your mother would given her own secret affair with the Lady of Tenebrae years ago.” 

Even you felt the shock from Ignis as it equaled your own. Mouth agape at remembering the rumors from when she was Lady Amelia’s advisor, you felt all words leave you. You never thought them true had it not been for what Ignis’ own father let slip. 

“Mother is…queer?” Ignis questioned, seemingly never told. 

Aurdis shrugged, turning back to the sink. “I never bothered to ask as it was never my business. She married me in the end and seems happy with me, so I guess that door goes in bother directions.” 

Moving quickly into the bathroom when you saw Ignis was just finishing up his portion of the dishes, you shut the door and made sure to lock it just in case. If anything, you just needed to be alone for a moment.


End file.
